Most of the bullies I grew up with acted like a**holes because they had already been treated horribly — by parents, older siblings, relatives, etc. Here is more from the Trib:
The ACLU says the girls engaged in “teenage banter” and the conversation could not have been interpreted seriously. The complaint noted that the girls repeatedly used emoticons that indicated they were joking.
The three girls were initially suspended from school for 10 days in January after a parent gave a copy of the Facebook conversation to the principal of Griffith Middle School.
The girls were sent home immediately and later called in for an expulsion hearing in February. An examiner found that the girls’ behavior violated the school’s policy concerning bullying, harassment and intimidation. The expulsion is to last until August, according to the complaint.
The girls have been allowed to take all necessary tests and will be allowed to graduate to ninth grade. But the ACLU notes that at least one parent has spent nearly $1,000 on home schooling, while another girl was unable to get admitted to an alternative school.
Expelling these kids, instead of trying to teach them why their behavior is wrong — and why they cannot treat other human beings so unkindly — will only make them feel more defensive and hateful of authority. (To be fair, past a certain point, some behavior in schools should be immediate grounds for getting the boot. When a boy at my high school stuck a student with Down Syndrome in a trash can, he should have never been allowed back on campus. But these Facebook shenanigans are completely different.)
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Honestly, the best approach to bullying I have seen was suggested in a recent episode of South Park. The character Butters, who is mercilessly bullied and physically abused by his grandmother throughout the episode, says this to her at the end:
Here’s the text, for those at work:
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I did it, grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the snot out of Dr. Oz. I can’t lie, it felt kind of good, At first. But since then all I have is kind of a dark, empty feeling.
And then I realized, that’s how you must feel, all the time. Poor old grandma. I’ve been getting lots of advice about how to deal with you: stand up to you, tell on you. But I kind of realized there is just people like you out there, all over the place.
When you’re a kid, things seem like they’re going to last forever. But they’re not. Life changes. You will always be around. Someday you’re going to die. Someday pretty soon.
When you’re laying in a hospital bed, with tubes up your nose and that little pan under your butt to pee in, I’ll come visit you. I’ll come just to show you that I’m still alive, and I’m still happy. And you will die, being nothing but you.
Good night grandma!
That’s all there is to it. What is the old expression? Oh yeah: kill them with kindness.
Posts on Facebook lead to ACLU lawsuit [Chicago Tribune]