Law Schools

Develop This One Character Trait To Transform Your Legal Career

It probably isn’t what you think...

By  
on

Let’s start with a question. Which of the following two people would you rather have represent you in court, teach you, or mentor you?

Person A

Second guesses every decision she makes. Walks around apologizing for existing. Tries to take up the least amount of space possible because she views her presence as a burden. Hardly takes chances and when she does, it causes her extreme anxiety. Frequently procrastinates to the point where she ends up submitting less than her best work.

Person B

Wakes up every day ready to set the world on fire.  She is decisive, inventive, and creative. You can feel her presence in the room. She knows her ideas are valuable and that she must share them with the world. Not only does she take chances, but she welcomes new experiences and challenges.  Her work product flows, and she has no problem sticking to a schedule.

No contest. Person B all day, every day, right? Person B is the “force-to-be-reckoned with” kind of lawyer you want representing you in court, the professor whose class you can’t wait to get to each week, and the mentor who has accomplished all the things you want to accomplish.

So, which person would you rather be? And, who are you today?

Sponsored

Don’t panic if you identify with Person A today but want to be Person B because, and maybe you already guessed this, both people are based on me. I spent the first 27ish years of my life as Person A before I started to make changes to undergo the hard work of transforming into Person B.  

Now, what’s the key to making this transformation? Self-confidence.

There are a surprising number of definitions for confidence, but the one I like best is “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.” Because that is what self-confidence is all about, the belief that you can rely on yourself, having firm trust in yourself.

Why does this matter for your legal career? Simply put: If you can’t trust yourself, how is anyone else supposed to trust you?

The good news is that self-confidence is like any other muscle. If you focus on developing it, it will strengthen. Here are some tips for improving your self-confidence:

Sponsored

  • Deal with your shit: Chances are that you weren’t born lacking confidence. Rather, it is something you developed based on your life experiences. I cannot overemphasize how important it is to figure out what these things are and address them. The process will most likely be faster, not to mention emotionally safer, if you get the help of a licensed professional, such as a therapist or psychologist.
  • Remember, feelings aren’t facts: This is a hard one to wrap your head around, but once you grasp it, it will change your life. Simply because you think or feel something, doesn’t make it true. When you think or feel something negative about yourself, I urge you to challenge, or at the very least investigate, its truth.
  • Become a student of yourself: Have you ever spent any significant time with a 3-year-old? If so, you know their favorite world of all time is “why.” I encourage you to ask yourself “why” frequently when it comes to your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about yourself. It is important that you do this from a place of curiosity and not judgment.
  • Become a student of confident people: I am a firm believer in “fake it till you make it.” Before I had my own self-confidence, I studied people who appeared to be confident and implemented in my life the things that they were doing.
  • Dress the part: I am not about to lecture you on how you have to look a certain way to feel confident. In fact, I think that is a bunch of crap. I worked really hard to never have to wear a suit or get dressed up for work again. When I say “dress the part,” I simply mean put yourself together in any way that makes YOU feel confident. For me, that means putting on the “good” yoga pants (you know the ones I’m talking about) and brushing my hair before I sit down at my desk.

While you are at it, be sure to avoid these confidence killers:

  • A negative sounding board: Does your crew reinforce your negative beliefs about yourself? It is said that you’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. If those closest to you drag you down and make you feel bad, it may be time to reevaluate those relationships.
  • Harsh self-talk: Even people who would never dream of saying an unkind word to someone else can be really mean to themselves. When I catch myself thinking something hateful or untrue about myself, I ask, “Would I ever say this to someone else?” Do a quick check to see if the the language you’e using is holding you back.
  • Being a perfectionist: Hi, you went to law school, so being a perfectionist is in your blood. However, we all know that “perfect” isn’t a real thing (unless you’re talking about chocolate cake), right? If you’re constantly holding yourself to an untenable standard you will never feel confident in your abilities.
  • Playing it safe: Your comfort zone is oh-so… comfortable. But if you never stretch yourself, you won’t know all the things that you’re capable of accomplishing. Every time you push yourself and succeed, you’re building up your confidence bank account.
  • Viewing every roadblock as failure: Does this sound familiar? If something doesn’t work out exactly how you expected, then it is an utter failure and, by extension, so are you. Try reframing roadblocks as learning and growth opportunities. It always sucks when things don’t turn out the way you wanted, but how you react in those situations can make or break your confidence in the future.

Making this transformation won’t be easy. Actually, it will be really freaking hard. But it will be so worth it. I hope you embark on this journey not just for your legal career, but for the quality of your entire life.

Kerriann Stout is a millennial law school professor and founder of Vinco (a bar exam coaching company) who is generationally trapped between her students and colleagues. Kerriann has helped hundreds of students survive law school and the bar exam with less stress and more confidence. She lives, works, and writes in the northeast. You can reach her by email at info@vincoprep.com.

Topics

, , ,