This Is Every Lawyer Ad

We can laugh at ourselves.

onOctober 17, 2018 at 3:57 PMOctober 17, 2018 at 2:18 PM

If you are not following Keaton Patti, you are doing it wrong. He’s the guy who does the “I forced a bot” jokes. If you haven’t read his Olive Garden ad, or his Infowars takedown, you are really missing out on some of the best the internet has to offer.

Last week, he turned his talents on legal advertising.

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. pic.twitter.com/47MebRmIy0

— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) October 11, 2018

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From Pilot and Above The Law

Somebody get this man his own show. And would somebody please make a lawyer show called “Justice Fruit.” I could definitely see Donald Glover doing a light Jackie Chiles impersonation. Every episode starts with Glover eating some kind of produce, and every episode ends with him working that produce into his closing argument.

Glover: Are you afraid of this jack-o’-lantern?
Cop: [Nervously] What?
[Moves jack-o’-lantern closer]
Glover: DO YOU THINK this jack-o’-lantern is going to come to life and kill you?
[Moves jack-o’-lantern closer]
Cop: [Sweating] No!
Glover: This jack-o’-lantern is COMING TO GET YOU!
Cop: STOP IT! [Smashes jack-o’-lantern on the floor]
Glover: Plaintiffs rest, your honor. [Sips pumpkin spice latte]

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.