In-House Counsel

On Being Nice At Meetings

There are some meetings from which you could benefit. If you make yourself unpleasant, those meetings and invitations may stop.

By  
on

Once upon a time, we had regularly scheduled meetings on a topic.  The meetings were worthwhile; we shared information that needed to be shared.  But we had one senior person who was tough at those meetings, cross-examining people who dared to speak and telling participants that they were just wrong about stuff.  The meetings became uncomfortable.

At law firms, those meetings (and people) are not uncommon.  You either tolerate the meetings or leave the firm; that’s life.

But, at corporations, people have a choice.  A relatively junior person had been scheduling the meetings.  Suddenly, the meetings were no longer being scheduled.  I’m not sure anyone noticed, other than me.

“Why did you stop scheduling the meetings?” I asked.

“They were too unpleasant.”

“But didn’t you think they served a purpose?”

“Sure.  So does going to a proctologist every once in a while.  But I don’t go out of my way to schedule unnecessary appointments.”

Sponsored

Which got me to thinking.

Both about the colorful metaphors used by my colleagues and the utility of being nice at meetings.

As a senior person at a corporation, you’re not scheduling all of the meetings.  There are some meetings from which you could benefit; you would like those meetings to be scheduled and for you to be invited.  If you make yourself unpleasant, those meetings and invitations may stop, and you may not even notice that it happened.

So be nice.

Listen to what others have to say.

Sponsored

Solicit the opinions of others.

When you disagree with those opinions, disagree respectfully.

Understand that when a senior person criticizes someone else, the criticism is likely to be taken very seriously.  Frequently, the more important you are, the more softly you should speak.

I understand that you don’t suffer fools gladly; I know that your time is valuable; I know that you attend more meetings than you care to.

If meetings truly aren’t necessary, then cancel them.  Or don’t attend.

If someone consistently wastes time at meetings, then perhaps that person should be told (privately) to be conscious of people’s time when senior executives are attending meetings.  Or perhaps a problem is insoluble, and the person should no longer be invited to the meetings.

But you shouldn’t be the cause of meetings being canceled.

If meetings are necessary, then you should encourage people to schedule them, to speak, and to offer their opinions.

If you don’t encourage people, then you can’t complain when you’re blindsided by events that you otherwise would have known about.

Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and is now deputy general counsel at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Inside Straight: Advice About Lawyering, In-House And Out, That Only The Internet Could Provide (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.

Topics

, ,