Law Schools

Dr. Biden And That Op-Ed

Funny how the 'Dr.' thing and the 'hierarchy' thing are related.

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Dr. Jill Biden (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Dear Law Professors:

It started with yet another “Let’s not call her Dr.” hit piece. The kind that has been written before, many times. No, I’m not going to link to it.

Then came the style guides, which showed that only those with an M.D. should be called doctor. As if to say that makes it perfectly okay to publish the hit piece. I’m missing the part of the style guide where newspapers call Ph.D.s “kiddo.” Maybe you can help me find it.

Then came the “What about Sebastian Gorka?” missives. You’re right. He should be called Dr. And now: what is your argument? Having a doctorate doesn’t mean you are beyond the political fray, that you are correct all the time, or anything of the sort. It means you have some expertise. It’s not a presumption of correctness. But you’re right. Dr. Gorka it is. Next argument?

By the way, can you point to where Dr. Gorka was called “kiddo?” I can’t find it.

Oh, just as an aside: I see law professors be dismissive of Ph.D.s every f**king day. I mean, unless they want to hire someone with a Ph.D./J.D. Then it’s OMG GUSH so IMPRESSIVE. Want to guess who that usually benefits? Want to guess where their J.D.s usually come from?

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Then came the “Well I’m not going to call anyone who isn’t a medical doctor a doctor. What if someone shouted, ‘Is there a doctor in the house?’ ” Sigh. Yes, the Ph.D. in philosophy would immediately signal that the ailment doesn’t exist in reality and save the victim using a coherence theory of truth. Is that what you want to hear? Because chances are the context matters and only someone with medical training would answer.

By the way, in your hypothetical, if a family nurse practitioner answered the call, would you force them to sit back down and not render aid? “Sorry, I have the ability to save their life but, damn it, I’m not a doctor. Sorry,” the nurse practitioner would say in your world.

Then came the “Well, J.D.s can now call themselves doctors too, right?” No.  But if you have an S.J.D., yes. But otherwise, feel free to try it in front of a judge. It will go over well.

Yes, left-leaning comics too have mocked people with Ph.D.s who are in the political sphere. And even M.D.s like Dr. Stein! I’m not here for it. I don’t stan for either party or any party. It’s wrong. So now that I admitted that, can you now admit that a misogynistic hit piece was written to attack a woman who has a doctorate in education?

No?  Huh.  Funny that.

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I’m pleased to hear you don’t have your students call you “Dr.” or “Professor.”  You are SO COOL! You have that luxury and privilege. As do I. Others do not.  Yeah, you might get called out by the alpha male in your class every so often.  But you don’t get that it happens EVERY day to women professors.  Particularly minority women. They don’t have that luxury privilege. And you know this because the moment someone challenges your authority for real you write blog posts about how the world is ending and AALS presidents don’t matter or some crap like that.

You see, this isn’t just about Dr. Biden. It is about the microaggressions that women face every day. The slights to their expertise. The fact that you’ll find any f**king excuse not to call her Dr. just because it offends you. But thanks for the nice discussion of disparate impact with your “I only call M.D.s doctors” standards. Want to look at THAT data?

It’s about how when the hierarchy is challenged by minorities and women making inroads, it means somehow that the achievements mean less somehow because it isn’t the coveted prize of only white men. That’s what Drs. Gorka and Biden have in common. You can write blog posts about how if you treat legal writing professors the same as tenured faculty it’s like calling a nurse doctor. Apart from the obvious gender issues with your analogy, it’s crap. You’ve watched too many shows about doctors, the kind my mother refuses to watch because it glorifies doctors at the expense of the reality of a hospital. Oh, did you notice how when the gender balance of nurses tilted toward males the wages went up? But go on with your analogies.

It’s about the attack on education, too. But I’m glad you’re cool with that.

So, dear professors, let’s dispense with the crap, shall we? Otherwise, next time I see you, I’m going to stop calling you professor. You see, my style guide says only Ph.D.s can be professors. Sorry. But rules are rules, right? You bet, kiddo.

Dr. LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

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