Courts

The Supreme Court Fix We So Desperately Need

Maybe the answer to the counter-majoritarian difficulty was branding all along?

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(Photo by Erin Schaff-Pool/Getty Images)

It would appear that we are practicing law in the middle of a global rule of law crisis, and the U.S. is no exception. This should not be new news, as even the brightest (three separate hyperlinks, to be clear) minds at our highest court have transparently voiced concern about the public’s thoughts on their most esteemed role in our republic.

But lo, one Howard Bashman of How Appealing has noted a suggested solution to what appears to be America’s general distrust of its own highest court.

This, my friends, is the short barrier to a legal utopia whose hegemony will spill over into those lesser nations. And the only real question isn’t about its efficacy. Why haven’t we thought of this sooner?! There are some people who think that the issue with the Court’s legitimacy lay elsewhere, namely:

But personally, I think that Mr. MisterianZajac has been misled. Renaming the Supreme Court building amidst a clear rule of law crisis is the most American thing we could do right now. It’s right up there with making a monument to MLK a few years before Alabama likely outlaws explaining to kids his relevancy. In fact, I think we should go even further.

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The normy solution to this crisis would be to name the Court after an influencial justice or court case, maybe The Marshall or The RBG or the Frigaliment Court. But no, it is 2021 and corporate personhood is here to stay. In the spirit of  accelerationist transparency, might I suggest we name the Court after a corporate sponsor? I mean, we already know corporations at least in part are lining judges’ pockets. Just imagine the slogans!

The Nike Court – Just Overrule It

The McDonald’s Court – Ba Da Ba Ba Ba, I’m Denying It

The Pringles Court – Betcha Can’t Rule On Just One

Olive Garden – When You’re Here, You’re In Family Court

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The Federalist Society – Despite Our Clear Association With This Court, We Maintain Neutrality

New Data Highlight Growing Worldwide Rule of Law Crisis [Just Security]
Approval of U.S. Supreme Court Down to 40%, A New Low [Gallup]
Politicians and Fed Officials Aren’t The Only Ones Trading In Stocks With Conflicts Of Interest – Judges Do It Too, And A New Report Shows 131 Of Them Did So Illegally [Business Insider]

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. Before that, he wrote columns for an online magazine named The Muse Collaborative under the pen name Knehmo. He endured the great state of Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

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