Are You An Impostor?

Do you sometimes feel like an impostor? Like someone who is merely posing as an attorney, who actually has no business, whatsoever, practicing law?

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Do you sometimes feel like an impostor?  Like someone who is merely posing as an attorney, who actually has no business, whatsoever, practicing law?  That’s how I felt. Sure, I went to law school and received my J.D. Sure, I passed the bar. Sure, I got hired by a top-tier firm.

But what did three years in law school, that big, awful test, and that email from the New York State Board of Law Examiners really prove about my ability to practice law? (Nothing.) And what if someone important (like a partner or a client) learned the truth: (a) that I was completely unprepared, and (b) that I was a total fake whose most meaningful legal experience was watching countless Law & Order marathons? (Disaster.)

Apparently, feeling like an impostor is quite a normal thing; in fact, there’s a name for it: impostor syndrome. And a lot of people, especially those who have had to accomplish a great deal in life to earn their degrees (ehem, lawyers), experience that “I’m a total fraud” feeling.  (Phew–you’re not alone.)

These feelings tend to lessen the longer you practice law. You’ll learn how to write briefs; you’ll learn how to negotiate with the other side. And you’ll start to see that everyone else is an impostor, too: even those so-called super lawyers that are at the top of their game had to start somewhere, with just as little knowledge and experience as you did. But then you’ll be put on a case where you face a novel piece of undecided law, or a crazy, complicated deal that some weird tax guy thinks will save your client tons of money, and you’re back to square one (fraud city!).

But what is feeling like a fraud really about?  It’s a fear that you’ll be found out for being less qualified, less perfect, less achieved, less intelligent, less of everything, than others think that you are. If you take a closer look, you may start to see that your fear is really based on a belief that “I’m not enough.”  (Which translates to a lack of self-love, lack of self-acceptance, yada yada yada).

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We can earn degrees. We can gain experience. We can have fancy letters and titles after our names. But until we start valuing ourselves as good enough, smart enough, pretty or handsome enough without the accolades, we will always feel like a fraud in some portion of our lives (career or personal).

But how do we move past it (the feeling of “not enough” or being a fraud)? My own experience has taught me that the trick is to start living your life from a more vulnerable and authentic place.

No, you can’t always be vulnerable and authentic–the courtroom is a place for strategy, not vulnerability and truth-telling. But where it won’t adversely affect your career (say, with a mentor or your colleagues), admit that you don’t know everything, that you’re imperfect, and/or that you need help. It will take some practice–you can’t go from being a know-it-all, perfectionist, Type A lawyer to a relaxed, easy version of yourself in a single day. But the more you show up to life from an authentic and real place, the easier it will be for you to just be yourself, and eventually you’ll begin to see: you are enough.

Megan Grandinetti is an attorney, a wellness and life coach, and a yoga teacher. If you’d like to learn more about Megan, visit www.thelawyershealthcoach.com or email her to set up a free 30-minute coaching consultation (megan.grandinetti@gmail.com).

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