Morning Docket

* Wait, are you suggesting we shouldn’t have trusted the journalistic integrity of the National Enquirer? This Trump trial teaches us something new every day! [Reuters]

* Outgoing Boeing leadership collecting around $45 million as they walk out the door. The existing door, not one blown out the side of one of their planes. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Supreme Court to hear yet another case of women placed in life-threatening peril because of Dobbs. This time it implicates a Ronald Reagan law, so let’s see how quickly the principled conservatives throw the Gipper under the bus and then back over him. [CNN]

* DOJ offers up $139 million to Larry Nassar victims over the FBI’s multiple levels of failure in putting a stop to the abuse. [Law360]

* Deep dive into Latham’s work to change NYC property taxes, where poor neighborhoods pay upwards of three times higher tax rates than more affluent ones. [Litigation Daily]

* The Washington Post wrote an editorial about the homelessness case. It’s as if they didn’t bother to figure out the basic facts of the homelessness case. [Balls and Strikes]

* Columbia law professors raise concerns over university’s handling of protest. [Intercept]

* “As DA Aims High, Trump Defense Gets ‘Down And Dirty.'” Pretty sure the whole case is about him getting down and dirty, but we’ll see have to wait for Stormy and Karen to testify. [Law360]

* Supreme Court to hear case about Idaho’s abortion ban and the criminalization of performing a life saving procedure. Who could have predicted this sort of infinite judicial line-drawing in policy matters? Oh wait, everyone. [Reuters]

* Reminder that antitrust warriors like Lina Khan don’t understand that mergers lead to efficiency!!! Also, remaining sugar production conglomerates collude in price fixing scheme causing costs of food staple to skyrocket. [Law.com]

* Speaking of Lina Khan, the FTC is about to ban non-compete agreements. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Chicago firms grew… but not as fast as New York. This occasion calls for a Malört! [American Lawyer]

* Neal Katyal has a suggestion for Trump’s gag order violations that might actually work… jail time suspended until after trial subject to reevaluation if Trump behaves. More likely to make a dent than fining him $1000 over and over. [Twitter, Yes, Let’s Just Be Honest And Keep Calling It That]

* Law school grads finding work easier than the cohort from 10 years ago… you know, when America was struggling to get out of a financial meltdown. [ABA Journal]

* After fighting over disclosing the witness list, prosecutors agreed to give Trump’s team the name of the first witness over the weekend with the admonishment that they didn’t want to see the name leaked or they wouldn’t be divulging any more names. Anyway, the first witness is David Pecker. [CNN]

* Meanwhile, Justice Engoron considers whether the many, many flaws in Trump’s civil fraud bond can be overlooked. [Reuters]

* Washington Post editorial board pushes for Supreme Court to protect laws to punish the homeless as a means to encourage using shelters. Except the case is explicitly and only about the constitutionality of cities penalizing homeless people when there are NOT available shelters. Do these people even bother reading up on these cases before writing about them? [Washington Post]

* Biglaw pushing recruiting earlier and earlier into the school year. Because students definitely need more distractions during 1L. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Self-immolation incident prompts security review. [Law360]

* More trouble for Lewis Brisbois. [American Lawyer]

* Michael Avenatti says he’s willing to testify on behalf of Trump. “I’m not saying any of this because I’m seeking a pardon,” he said. Sure. [Yahoo]

* The Trump jury is picked. The search for more alternates continues today. No rest for the very, very sleepy! [Washington Post]

* This story about the Dominion case and Clare Locke losing a lot of its talent to MWPP is… wild. [NY Times]

* Advice for Biglaw firms: when you tell a client “to avoid disclosure” and “try to do so in a way that looks legitimate,” you’re gonna have a bad time. [Roll on Friday]

* Ron DeSantis continues to throw taxpayer money on a heaping bonfire of avoidable litigation. This time it’s a law to allow public school chaplains. [USA Today]

* Another assessment of Judge Ho’s recent forum shopping speech concludes that his bombastic response only ended up making the case for reform that he set out to debunk. [Balls and Strikes]

* Democrats propose inspector general role for the judiciary. But we already have ProPublica, don’t we? [Law360]

* Gun manufacturers beg Supreme Court to bail them out on the bedrock principle that no one should be allowed to question them. [Reuters]

* Professor believes that the lawyers in danger of being replaced by ChatGPT and similar tech are the partners. In fairness, they’re saying, “I know there’s a case that says…” and what’s more hallucinatory than that? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Sentencing Commission finally takes steps against judges using acquitted conduct in sentencing. [Law360]

* Columbia student who was suspended for attacking Gaza war protesters with a chemical spray has sued the school arguing that the chemical was non-toxic so… it’s OK to shoot at people who’s speech he doesn’t like? [Columbia Daily Spectator]

* Former state and federal prosecutor with long history of benchslaps and wrongful convictions to be disbarred for her actions… now that she’s retired. For more on her history, check out this wild thread from Michael Harriot [Kansas Public Radio]

* Colorado moves to make brain waves protected “sensitive information.” [Legaltech News]

* “A waste of taxpayer resources and time,” says the office of Gov. Sarah Sanders. Curiously, she’s not describing the $19,000 lectern she bought, but the investigation into it. [ABC News]

* SpaceX effort to keep NLRB fight in Texas for forum shopping reasons fails on launchpad. [Reuters]

* Profiles of the first seven jurors in the Trump case. Y’all sure you want that many lawyers on the jury? [CNN]

* Bob Menendez appears to be planning to throw his wife under the bus. “Alexa, play ‘Getaway Car’ by Taylor Swift.”[Law360]

* Winston & Strawn settles claim that it violated copyright by filing brief copying text from a co-defendant’s brief. At least we know the settlement agreement isn’t copied since literally no one has ever brought such a stupid claim before. [Reuters]

* NY Court of Appeals questions whether it’s unconstitutional to require religious entities to actually be religious to get exemptions to health insurance regulations requiring abortion care coverage. Yes, can’t “collecting tax free money” be religious enough? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Law schools considering changes ahead of NextGen bar exam. [ABA Journal]

* Eric Adams looking to bring back Giuliani administration alums for his administration, starting in the legal department. The man definitely has his finger on the pulse of what New Yorkers want in 2024! [NY Times]

* Supreme Court authorizes Idaho’s anti-trans care law with Justice Gorsuch writing that the decision might abuse the standard notion of the Court’s shadow docket power, but all the justices who created those precedents are dead now and we have a supermajority so YOLO (you’d be shocked at how lightly paraphrased that is too). [Law360]

* Rudy tried to get his defamation verdict reversed. It went as well as the rest of his election legal work. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Armorer in the Alec Baldwin case sentenced to 18 months. [Reuters]

* Over in the UK, Kaplan apologizes after incorrectly informed a bunch of grads that they’d failed the Solicitor’s Qualification Exam, leading at least some to lose their job offers. [LegalCheek]

* Biglaw partner alleges that another lawyer filed an inflammatory affidavit for the purpose of serving as the basis of a negative NY Post article. [ABA Journal]

* A&O makes a withdrawal from the (Mil)bank. [Law.com International]

* Eriq Gardner chats with David Boies about a wide range of topics, but especially the firm’s contingency work and the billions in value it generates. [Puck]

* OJ Simpson’s lawyer proclaims that he’ll see to it that the Goldman family gets “zero” of the estate despite them holding a $33.5 million judgment that’s ballooned to over $100 million with interest. And people wonder why the judicial system doesn’t get the respect it used to. [People]

* First Trump criminal trial kicks off, so let’s talk about jury nullification. [Just Security]

* Federal Circuit battle against Judge Newman is “focused less on the merits of disabilities and procedures over aging judges, and more on personal animosity.” Totally professional way to let an appellate court operate! [Law360]

* The new white collar defense strategy of leveling misconduct allegations against the prosecution. [BIG]

* ABA membership dues set to increase. [ABA Journal]

* Hunter Biden loses bid to dismiss gun charges, setting up the inevitable Supreme Court case where Sam Alito gleefully rules in favor of the younger Biden to invalidate every gun regulation pursued by the elder Biden. [Reuters]

* Clare Locke enters strategic cross-border alliance with fellow defamation and reputation management shops Schillings and Giles George. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Is Biglaw partnership incompatible with being a diligent parent? [Law.com International]

* O.J. Simpson is dead. The term “trial of the century” gets trotted out a lot, but there’s a decent argument that between his murder acquittal and being found liable in the wrongful death suit that was the first time average Americans understood there was a difference between the criminal and civil systems. We should probably have a better system of civic education than “letting a famous guy get away with killing people every few decades.” [Hollywood Reporter]

* Evan Corcoran departs Trump legal team. [CNN]

* O’Melveny mocks failed merger partner behind closed doors. [Roll on Friday]

* SBF appeals conviction. [Reuters]

* H-1B worker facing visa revocation challenges policy of “fraud by association.” [Bloomberg Law News]

* Orrick offers up $8 million to settle data breach. [Law360]

* It’s just that Dr. Manhattan meme, except “it’s April 2024, and we’re arguing over the term ‘non-lawyer.'” [American Lawyer]

* Federal government will close “gun show loophole” and require background checks on those gun sales… until the inevitable Fifth Circuit challenge. [Reuters]

* Man who earned college degree from prison headed to T14 law school. [The Guardian]

* There’s a lot to say about the Arizona abortion law, but the history of the guy behind it is… illuminating. [Washington Post]

* Lawyer accused of stealing $3.8M from clients. [NY Daily News]

* Data storage patent case will cost Amazon $525 million. [Law360]

* CFPB slowing down as it awaits yet another stupid relitigation of its existence. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Experts to 70-year-old lawyers, “please develop a firm leadership succession plan.” 70-year-old lawyers, “if we create a non-equity tier we don’t have to share money with real partners ever again!” [American Lawyer]

* Judicial Conference proposes rules to govern federal mass torts… as if we still listen to the Judicial Conference! [Reuters]

* Fifth Circuit tries to bring back case already transferred to D.C. Not… entirely sure that’s how this works, gang. [ABA Journal]

* Truth Social lawsuit assigned to judge who handled the AMC meme stock fallout. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Woman who stole Ashley Biden’s diary gets prison time. [Law360]

* Judging law students as Stanley Cups. [LegalCheek]

* Attorney and wife killed by opposing counsel in deposition murder-suicide. [Law360]

* Elite NYC firms did better than the rest of the market for roughly the 8 millionth year in a row. [American Lawyer]

* Western District of Texas drama as chief judge allegedly tried to move newly appointed judge out of the courthouse. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Jack Smith asks Supreme Court to ditch Trump’s “presidents are immune from all laws” argument because it’s… dumb. [Reuters]

* Prison time in cash-for-clients scheme. [NY Times]

* Cows can’t be basis of noise complaint in France. [The Guardian]

* Hearing scheduled to figure out if Trump’s bond is… actually backed by anything. [Reuters]

* General counsel accused of creating fake law firm invoices. I’m sure the fraud unraveled because the bills were too low. [Corporate Counsel]

* Supreme Court becomes slightly more popular. Amazing what a couple weeks of sounding vaguely reasonable during oral argument can do. [Politico]

* Rudy doesn’t have to sell his Florida condo to cover his debts… yet. [Law360]

* Calls intensify for Justice Sotomayor to step down before the election but given the backbone of Democratic senators have shown of late, that might not be a great plan. [ABA Journal]

* John Eastman asks to be able to practice law again so he can pay for all the lawyers he needs to litigate all the reasons why he can’t practice law in the first place. [CNN]

* Lawyer admits that wideout was driving car that caused major crash. [NBC News]

* M&A is up in Q1, fueling Biglaw profits. So somehow the rest of the media will spin this as bad economic news. [Reuters]

* Kirkland continues to outgrow its rivals. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Trump’s immunity bid in hush money trial crashes and burns again, but this time for being late. [Law360]

* Even what’s left of the NCAA’s NIL rules violate antitrust per new filing. [USA Today]

* NY inmates suing to be able to see the solar eclipse next week. [ABA Journal]

* Do your part to help out the profession by participating in the annual mental health survey. [American Lawyer]

* Complaint claims George W. Bush appointed Judge Reggie Walton tainted jury pools when he participated in a televised interview saying Donald Trump’s false claims attacking judges and their families have led to death threats. You’d think the attacks from the guy who used to be president would be doing more to taint jury pools… [Reuters]

* After a series of rail accidents, the government unveils a new rule for the “minimum freight train crew size” that rail companies — the industry with the highest profit margin in the country — decry as unnecessary and costly. It’s 2. The proposed minimum is 2 people to stop a train from crashing. [Law360]

* Major, Lindsey & Africa sued for internally blackballing the attorney who sued Troutman for racial discrimination. [American Lawyer]

* Trump sues Truth Social co-founders hoping to zero out their stock allocation. Though at the rate that stock is going it might be worth zero before they get to discovery anyway. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Hostile work environment lawsuit continues against law firm where partner’s Civil War fixation allegedly crossed into the disturbing. [ABA Journal]

* Have law schools enabled FedSoc by dropping the ball on basic student services? [Balls and Strikes]

* Support fizzling for fully online law schools while fully in person law schools continue to underwhelm. [Law.com]

* Trump posts bond. So the fun job of seizing his assets will have to wait a little while longer. [Law360]

* Shearman managed to keep its core together before merger finish line. Sterling job! [Bloomberg Law News]

* So it turns out that if the Supreme Court makes diversity illegal, law school diversity goes down. [Reuters]

* Florida Supreme Court functionally bans abortion but allows the matter to go on the ballot in November setting up a wild turnout scenario. [NBC News]

* Attorney blames Microsoft Word for exceeding word limit. Judge skeptical. [ABA Journal]

* Alex Murdaugh sentenced to 40 years for the less serious stuff. [BBC]

* Legal department is one of the few things related to Boeing not suffering from a sudden drop in pressure. [Law.com]

* Texas district court goes full Bartleby and tells federal judiciary it would prefer not to follow the rules. [Reuters]

* Trump could fire his legal team in a bid to further delay cases. Maybe having disposable lawyers can have its advantages. [Newsweek]

* FSU and Clemson take on ACC. But in court this time. [Bloomberg Law News]

* The Supreme Court isn’t buying this abortion pill case, but they seem to be laying bread crumbs for one they would. [Balls and Strikes]

* Republican AGs file suit to stop Joe Biden from forgiving federal student loans. There’s no standing, but why should that stop them? [ABA Journal]

* The children yearn for the mines. [Washington Post]

* Rudy fights to keep his condo from creditors. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Simpson Thacher tells lawyers to relax more. Also bill more. [Roll on Friday]

* Kim Kardashian sued for attributing knockoff furniture to famed furniture designer. [ABA Journal]

* South Carolina maps deemed too racist reauthorized for one more election. Because YOLO. [Reuters]

* Black woman sentenced to 5 years for voting once illegally in 2016 because she didn’t realize her supervised release rendered her ineligible finally acquitted. [The Guardian]

* Meanwhile, white Republican who believes 2020 election was stolen voted repeatedly over the years despite multiple felony sentences. Somehow there will be an effort to make this a “both sides do it” story. [Washington Post]

* Diddy’s lawyers think those DHS raids were excessive. I mean… who doesn’t bring a tank to raid a house that you’re pretty sure the target isn’t in at the moment? [NPR]

* Unnamed judge agrees to seek counseling for running “overly harsh” chambers. [Reuters]

* SBF sentencing day. What do people want to bet on his sentence? Fake currency only. [The Guardian]

* Lewis Brisbois attempts complete overhaul after disastrous 2023. [American Lawyer]

* Judge recommends disbarment for John Eastman. But he could keep his law license if Mike Pence has the courage to… wait, no, that isn’t how it works. [NPR]

* Alito and Thomas suggest that they’re on board with a future Trump administration enacting abortion bans over the objection of Congress. [Forbes]

* We’ve had our criticisms of the non-equity partnership model, but it’s more relaxed than the consulting world’s vicious up-or-out model. [Intuitive Career Coaching]

* More Democrats in the Senate pledge to not support Muslim judicial nominee. [Bloomberg Law News]

* Judging by the human trafficking investigation, Sean Combs may actually be a Bad Boy. [Fox News]

* Trump gets biblical on his legal fees by selling overpriced Bibles. [AP News]

* UChicago clinic helps migrants fighting for asylum. Now that’s how you use a T14 degree. [Chicago Maroon]

* RFK Jr. sets up potential for America’s second female vice-president with a JD. [CNN]

*Mercedes could be in for a bumpy ride over its labor practice. [Bloomberg Law]