JPMorgan Chase

What are the broad outlines of a possible settlement between the Dewey & LeBoeuf bankruptcy estate and former partners of the firm?

How much are Dewey's bankruptcy lawyers and other advisers charging? And what else is going on in this epic law firm bankruptcy?

Which former Dewey & LeBoeuf partner is now suing ex-leaders of the firm? And what's the latest news in the firm's bankruptcy battle?

* Gina Chon, the Wall Street Journal reporter whose sensuous e-mails with Brett McGurk, a U.S. ambassadorial nominee, were released last week, resigned her job at the paper. But temporary unemployment is no match for true love (or super hot sex, for that matter)! [Washington Post] * UMass Law is now the first accredited public law school in Massachusetts. Thank God, because our law school reserves were running dangerously low. [Boston Globe] * The attorney for FunnyJunk is totally befuddled by the Oatmeal’s hilarious response to his legal threats, as well as the internet at large’s response to the response. Come on man, loosen up and feel the lulz. [Gawker] * The Justice Department dropped the remaining charges against John Edwards. That’s an anti-climax for the record books. [WSJ Law Blog] * Congratulations to Andrew Schilling, the former top civil prosecutor at the Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office, who is joining BuckleySandler as a partner! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * JPMorgan’s CEO admits, “I was dead wrong.” Congratulations, I hope that makes you feel better. Now why don’t you give us taxpayers all our money back? [Gothamist] * I get stopped at the airport because some TSA agent thinks my belt buckle looks like a bomb or something, but this guy becomes a commercial pilot??? I just don’t get it. At all. [Wall Street Journal] * I do not envy the guy who has to explain the $19,000 strip club credit card bill to his wife. [Daily Business Review]

The pressure to avoid being the “no” department can cloud one’s judgment. How can you gain clarity as an in-house attorney?

Government work doesn't pay particularly well. So how can a federal prosecutor afford to live in a $25 million apartment?

What happened at yesterday's bankruptcy court hearing for Dewey & LeBoeuf? And why does the firm owe more than $400,000 in "severance" to a former associate?

* Dewey have any cash to pay the people helping to wind down our firm’s business? Nope! Even though JPMorgan backed D&L’s $8.6M motion to fund the firm’s ongoing operations, Judge Glenn insisted that the bank “[r]oll [its] truck up and start collecting accounts receivable.” [Am Law Daily (reg. req.)]

* “Don’t tase my baby, bro!” SCOTUS has declined to review a case where the Ninth Circuit ruled that the use of a Taser on a seven-month pregnant woman constituted excessive force. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* “The jury has sent a note that they’ve reached… [dramatic pause] … a good stopping point.” Judicial humor lightened the mood after the seventh day of deliberations without a verdict in the John Edwards trial. [ABC News]

* Dharun Ravi finally issued an apology for his “stupid and childish” behavior, and he’ll be heading off to serve his 30-day jail sentence on Thursday. And you know, that jail sentence is joke enough for this blurb. [CNN]

* “Dumb Blonde” isn’t a name that Elizabeth Warren takes too kindly to being called. She much prefers the name that her Native American ancestors bestowed upon her: “Running Joke.” [San Francisco Chronicle]

* Four of the alleged victims in the Jerry Sandusky case have asked the court to protect their identities. It’s kind of like the Michael Jackson case, but everyone cares more because this one involves football. [Bloomberg]

* Hundreds of lawyers, notaries, and other legal professionals took to the streets in Montreal earlier this week to publicly protest Bill 78, a law that limits public protests. That’s so meta, eh Canadians? [Montreal Gazette]

* “Now everybody’s gonna know that you died scratching my balls.” [Roll On Friday] * “Get these motherf***ing iguanas off my… wait, iguanas? That’s not cool. Maybe we should go with ‘snakes’ or something. Unless you like hotz-pacho.” — conversation I wish happened. [Legal Blog Watch] * The counterclaim from this allegedly pervy lawyer is priceless. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes] * Look, every time a company loses a bunch of money doesn’t mean a crime has been committed. [WSJ Law Blog] * I actually think that liberals care about property rights just as much as conservatives. It’s just that liberals don’t automatically assume that any use of eminent domain is inherently nefarious. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Wait, sometimes my order from Amazon gets delayed because somebody stole it at the post office? [Legal Juice] * Everybody, let’s say welcome to another publication that has figured out recent law graduates are drowning in debt. [Salon]

* Andrew Sweat claims fear of concussions made him hang ‘em up and go to law school. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be scared of football, I’m saying he should be worried about law school, too. [Deadspin] * Studying for the LSAT helps your brain. No really. It can even make you smart enough to avoid law school all together. [LSAT Blog: Ace the LSAT] * Looks like Jamie Dimon decided to send in The Wolf. [Dealbreaker] * How famous do I have to be before weight loss companies compete to make me take their diets for free (plus hire me a personal trainer) so they can say their weight loss program “works”? Surely, I’m fat enough. [WSJ Law Blog] * Instead of making laws against bullying, parents could also be less lazy and just learn how to use Facebook. [Orlando Sentinel] * Lawyer on lawyer name-calling. [Legal Newsline] * Hey, you’re going to be able to buy liquor on Sundays in Connecticut. Cool. Good to see that laws based entirely on weird, religious tradition are being found to be stupid. [WTNH] * This is a fun time to think about law firm branding, don’t you think? Sorry, let me make that a little more clear: Dewey think this is a fun time to think about law firm branding? [Law and More] * Looking ahead to the Facebook IPO in Blawg Review, which is also posted on Facebook this week. [Preaching to the Perverted via Blawg Review]

Was the offering memo for Dewey & LeBoeuf's 2010 private placement materially misleading? And what does the document reveal about the firm's finances?

What is the latest Dewey & LeBoeuf news? Some employees may lose their jobs as of this Friday -- plus news about incoming associates, retired partners, and defecting partners.

What is the latest news and rumor about Dewey & LeBoeuf? Not good, for starters....

LeBoeuf is not yet done. What's the good news cooking over at Dewey & LeBoeuf?

When are Dewey's debts due? And can the firm figure out a rescue plan before that date?

Is it true that FedEx is banned at Dewey? Which D&L partners might be heading for the door next? And what's all this talk about bankruptcy protection?

Dewey might be closing some of its foreign offices. Which overseas outposts are on the chopping block? And which rival firms might pick up the pieces?

* People seriously need to stop complaining about alternative careers for attorneys. Having a JD can lead to a fulfilling career outside of the law, assuming you can make partner at Cravath first. [DealBook / New York Times] * Due to a decline in filing fees on the killing of the American dream, the Florida […]

Raise your hand if you are a JPMorgan Chase customer. Now raise your hand if you’ve shopped at Best Buy. How about Citibank, Target or Walgreens? Has everybody in the world raised their hands yet? Congratulations — your email address may have been stolen. There was a data breach at Epsilon, a Texas-based marketing firm, […]

A new year, a new job. That seems to be the thinking of many within the legal profession, based on the proliferation of professional moves we have to report (and not just out of Howrey). We’ll start with one move that’s aspirational rather than actual. Legal and political superstar Ted Cruz — the Morgan Lewis […]