Uber

* Neil Gorsuch is evasive, but in an adorable way. [Slate]

* What do Biglaw and Uber have in common? [Law and More]

* So, do you need a personal assistant? [Corporette]

* What is it they say about politics and bedfellows? [Too Fab]

* What should Judge Gorsuch have to prove during the confirmation hearings? [Huffington Post]

* An Alabama megachurch wants to hire its own police force. Legislature just might do it… Seems problematic. [Salon]

* Kenneth Feinberg gets tapped to run another victim compensation fund. [Wall Street Journal]

* Andy Puzder claims a “fake news tsunami” is what forced him to withdraw as Labor Secretary nominee. Sure, Andy, whatever you need to tell yourself to go to sleep at night. [Huffington Post]

* When George W. Bush starts sounding utterly reasonable you know we are truly in the darkest timeline. [The Slot]

* The ethics lawsuit against Kellyanne Conway might feel good, but it could set a bad precedent. [Slate]

* A 2,000+ page long legislation is complication. You don’t f*cking say. [Salon]

* Are Republicans ignoring House v. Burwell? [The Incidental Economist]

* Who’s been digging into Susan Fowler’s personal life? [Law and More]

* Judge Posner rules that you can’t yell “fire” on a crowded Internet. [ABA Journal]

* Want a sneak peek at Am Law 100/200 financial results? Spoiler: top firms make a lot of money. [ALM Staff]

* Apparently it’s financially tenuous to leave Biglaw. Who knew walking away from $200K+ could put a crimp in your plans? [Am Law Daily]

* Michael Cohen is spinning in the wind after his contradictory secret peace plan claims fall apart. [Business Insider]

* Dechert has jumped into Philadelphia’s looming sanctuary city fight and Hogan Lovells may not be far behind. [Legal Intelligencer]

* The harassment claims against Uber have in-house counsel under fire.
[National Law Journal]

* Human boil Martin Shkreli and Evan Greebel, his former attorney from Katten, are seeking separate trials. [Law360]

* Uber is the new Chick-Fil-A. [New York Daily News]

* Trump administration now says the Muslim ban doesn’t apply to green card holders. It’d be funny to watch them defining the parameters of their bigotry if it wasn’t so horrifying. [New York Times]

* There should be a special place in hell for immigration officials who try to swindle immigrants out of their legal rights. [Policy.Mic]

* The ACLU received $24 million in donations this weekend, from 356,306 people. Where the rest of you at? [Washington Post]

* Google has created a $4 million “crisis fund” to help fight Trump’s Muslim ban. [USA Today]

* I keep calling Trump’s Muslim ban a “Muslim ban” because it’s a goddamn Muslim ban. But if administration officials would like me to call it “Trump’s ban on Muslims he doesn’t do business with,” I’m open to it. [Independent]

* I wanted to something unrelated to our country’s despicable behavior. All I came up with is getting baked in Maine. [Portland Press Herald]

* In keeping with our new morning ritual, we recap the firms that announced salary raises yesterday. We had Schulte Roth & Zabel, Robbins Russell, Arnold & Porter, Kramer Levin, Hughes Hubbard, McDermott, and Cadwalader. [Above the Law / 2016 Salary Increase]

* Womble Carlyle is forming a “strategic alliance” with U.K. firm Bond Dickinson. If mergers are law firm marriages, then think of this as the law firm f**k buddy arrangement. [Legal Week / Daily Report]

* This law school thinks the future of law is taking money to educate non-lawyers. [Newsworks]

* Here, read Law360 describe how Law360 settled with the NYAG’s office. It’s very meta. [Law360]

* Harvard Law grad suing NY State Board of Law Examiners for failing to accommodate her disability and causing her to twice fail the exam. [ABA Journal]

* Amid criticism, Shannon Liss-Riordan agrees to cut her fee in half for negotiating a class action settlement with Uber on behalf of the drivers. Apparently she was 2x surge priced the day she secured the deal.

* X marks the sanction: Attorney disciplined for hiding sunken treasure records. [Courthouse News Service]

* On the importance of having your criminal clients dressed for court, not for jail. [Katz Justice]

* An eight-justice Supreme Court has inspired some fanfic! No, there aren’t any group sex scenes, it isn’t that kind of fanfic. [Medium]

* A group of law professors have now joined Massholes in supporting Tom Brady’s Hail Mary for a Second Circuit rehearing. [Profootball Talk]

* We need to protect the free speech rights of teachers too. [Bloomberg View]

* A Trump presidency will threaten the rule of law, at least according to a bunch of libertarian legal scholars. [New York Times]

* Florida banned Medicaid patients from using Planned Parenthood, and now PP is fighting back in court. [Slate]

* There seems to be more legal bad news for Uber. [Law and More]

* Ammon and Ryan Bundy still don’t think the rules apply to them, even when they are in jail. [Huffington Post]

* As the Obama administration pushes for recognition of transgender rights, the transgender community may have found an unlikely ally: the late Justice Antonin Scalia. His opinion in the 1998 Oncale decision on sex discrimination was cited in the administration’s letter to public school officials warning them that gender-identity discrimination was prohibited by civil rights laws. A former Scalia clerk has called it an “absurd misreading of Title IX.” [Los Angeles Times]

* We’re now in the home stretch of the Supreme Court’s term, and with upcoming rulings on affirmative action, abortion, contraceptive coverage, immigration, and Puerto Rico’s debt, it’s going to get harder and harder for the justices to avoid 4-4 splits. In the majority of these cases, they’ll have to stop agreeing to disagree so it doesn’t look like we’ve got a Court in controversy with many deadlocks. [Bloomberg Politics]

* The State Bar of California has been criticized over a lack of transparency as to its finances, and in particular, its “rampant spending” on executive salaries. In fact, those at the top of the food chain at the California Bar earn salaries which exceed that of the state’s governor, who earns nearly $180,000 per year. That’s a lot of cash to fail more than half of the state’s bar-exam takers (more on that later today)! [WSJ Law Blog]

* “She has single-handedly stuck a knife in the back of every Uber driver in the country. The entire class was thrown under the bus and backed over.” Shannon Liss-Riordan, the lawyer who arranged a $100 million settlement deal in the Uber class-action over drivers’ employment status, is being attacked by her own clients, and now other lawyers are trying to have her removed as lead attorney on the case. [Chicago Tribune]

* “They give their young workers Ping-Pong tables and take away their constitutional rights.” That’s not a work perk companies are willing to brag about. More and more technology startups are embracing arbitration agreements to prevent their employees from filing lawsuits over workplace disputes that could have potentially ruinous financial effects on their bottom lines if they were litigated in court. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Has the death of Justice Scalia turned the Supreme Court more liberal? [Empirical SCOTUS]

* The best Supreme Court sketch featuring a sleeping Clarence Thomas you will see all year. [Slate]

* “We’re all just people. Trying to pee in peace.” A trans activist speaks out about North Carolina’s discriminatory bathroom law. [Buzzfeed]

* An update on the legal problems plaguing Uber. [Huffington Post]

* The diplomatic strategy involved in expanding intellectual property rights. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* Serving lattes instead of having a law library. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]

* “Say you’ll remember me, standing in a black robe, waiting for a hearing, babe. Begging the SJC, say you will confirm me, even if it’s just in my wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh.” SCOTUS nominee Judge Merrick Garland has something in common with an overwhelming number of teenage girls: he loves Taylor Swift sing-alongs. That’s cute! [People]

* “A judge does not check his First Amendment rights at the courthouse door.” Judge Olu Stevens has filed suit against the Kentucky Judicial Conduct Commission on free-speech grounds in an attempt to stave off an ethics sanction for publicly commenting on Facebook about all-white juries and their “disproportionate and disparate impact on black defendants.” [Courier-Journal]

* Hardly any partners leave Cravath, but a very important one just did, and his exit is making people talk. Scott Barshay, once a top M&A partner at the firm that tends to set the associate bonus scale, has defected to Paul Weiss, where he’ll become its global head of M&A. Which clients will he take to the “dream team”? [DealBook / New York Times]

* This plaintiff’s antitrust allegations against Uber’s CEO may be “wildly implausible” and representative of an “impossibly unwieldy conspiracy,” but in Judge Jed Rakoff’s eyes, they were enough to overcome a motion to dismiss that was filed by Boies Schiller. Something tells us Uber’s legal bills are going to see some surge-pricing. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Per a study by Ravel Law, in a new index that tracks federal judges by their rulings and subsequent citations to those rulings, Michigan produces the most influential judges on the federal bench, followed by Chicago, Harvard, and Yale. Harvard has finally gotten one over on Yale — but for a measly bronze trophy. [Crain’s Detroit Business]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector gained 1,200 jobs in March. On top of that positive news, February’s numbers were revised from a loss of 1,500 jobs to a gain of 100 jobs. In any case, what with the huge discrepancy, we’re happy to see Dewey’s bookkeepers found new work. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* As HBO prepares its take on the 1991 Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings starring Kerry Washington as Anita Hill, it seems they were inundated with complaints from politicians, concerned over how they look in the real life drama. [Hollywood Reporter]

* Geek out over the Supreme Court Style Guide (affiliate link) and note it “frequently deviates from Bluebook style.” [Lawyerist]

* They were fired, but now they’re baaack. Amid declining enrollment, seven professors are back at Charleston Law. [Tax Law Prof]

* A 2013 paper from Harvard Law professor Matthew C. Stephenson arguing that a Supreme Court justice can be appointed without a confirmation hearing has been making the social media rounds as the non-action on Merrick Garland’s nomination continues. [Yale Law Journal]

* Does this disbarred attorney have information from the DC Madam that will change the 2016 election? Probably not, but let the speculation begin! [Gawker]

* No matter what your right-wing uncle posts on Facebook, or what that drunken Bernie Bro tried to convince you of at a bar, no: Hillary Clinton is not getting indicted over her use of emails while at the State Department. Don’t believe me? Ask a law professor. [Media Matters]

* If you’re wondering what Mitch McConnell is thinking, overtly being an obstructionist over President Obama’s Supreme Court nomination of Merrick Garland, you aren’t alone. But here is some insight as to why he is playing this political game. [Guile is Good]

* We told you the Gawker verdict was no damn good. [Gawker]

* Will it take a Cesar Chavez to takedown rideshare giants like Uber and Lyft? [Casetext]

* Now that Donald Trump is within striking distance of the GOP nomination for president, will that impact potential sanctions against these lawyers? [Wise Law]

* Columbia Law hosted a conference about Asian-Americans in the law, with our own David Lat, about demystifying the model minority myth and the “Bamboo Ceiling.” [Columbia Law School]

* Can you make pre-packaged marketing materials work for you? [Reboot Your Law Practice]

* Federal Trade Commissioner Julie Brill will be leaving public service and heading to Biglaw. She leaves the FTC effective March 31 and will then join Hogan Lovells. [Reuters]