Something Is Rotten In The Southern District Of New York
Maybe they should call it the STINKY District of New York.
No, the title here isn’t some euphemism for corruption or some other bad practices. We are referring to actual bad odor emanating from the S.D.N.Y. offices.
For all the prestige Preet Bharara once wielded, it seems he couldn’t — or wouldn’t — do anything about the conditions in the Manhattan offices of the Southern District of New York. The Wall Street Journal has taken a deep dive into the smells, and the details are glorious.
Bedbug and ant infestations have occasionally plagued the space. Definitely troubling, but not wholly unheard of, particularly in Manhattan. What is… unique, though, is the dead rat in an office:
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Brian Jacobs, who served as the office’s deputy chief of appeals until 2015, once noticed a strange odor, only to later discover the source to be a dead rat decomposing in a radiator.
“Every job has its unique challenges,” Mr. Jacobs said. “Coping with bad smells is not one you expect.”
This story made me sick to my stomach, so trigger warning for really gross stuff:
Desk drawers have contained surprises, according to Randall Jackson, who prosecuted several employees of Bernard Madoff before leaving government in 2015. Mr. Jackson recalled moving to a new office and opening a drawer to find an “outrageous amount of mold,” which he theorizes to have originated from a forgotten piece of cheese.
But wait! It gets worse!
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A few years later, a colleague opened his drawer to find “what appeared to be 10 years of fingernail clippings,” Mr. Jackson said. The situation was too awkward to confront the people who had previously occupied the office.
“What if it had been them? You could never speak to that person again,” he said.
Even the prisoners next door at Manhattan Correctional Center get better digs:
“The low point was when a defendant…sat in one of our nicer conference rooms and asked to have the next meeting at the prison because it was more comfortable,” said Brendan McGuire, who led the office’s terrorism and international narcotics unit.
Of course, those working there tend to brush off the… questionable working conditions as building character. They don’t see it as an impediment to getting their job done, and it certainly doesn’t hurt recruitment; there are lots of ambitious attorneys that would love to work at the prestigious office, smells and all.
But that doesn’t mean moments like this aren’t just a tad embarrassing:
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Defense lawyers say they sometimes prepare clients before a meeting with the Manhattan U.S. attorney’s office.
“I tell them, ‘The air conditioning may or may not work. If someone had dinner there the night before, it may be aromatic,’” said Barry Bohrer, a former Southern District prosecutor who now defends white-collar clients.
There’s a new Shonda Rhimes TV show set in S.D.N.Y. — wonder if the odors will make it in as a subplot.
At New York’s Top Prosecutor’s Office, Something Really Does Smell Fishy [Wall Street Journal]
Kathryn Rubino is an editor at Above the Law. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).
