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3 Key Differences Between Brett Kavanaugh And Marcus Licinius Crassus

The great Roman was a worthy adversary of Spartacus. Brett Kavanaugh is not.

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Marcus Licinius Crassus

Upon released “committee confidential” documents that showed Brett Kavanaugh’s antipathy towards affirmative action and his moral flexibility on racial profiling, Cory Booker said, “This is about the closest I’ll ever have in my life to an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.”

Indeed, one possible penalty for Booker’s actions is expulsion from the Senate. Other Democratic senators were quick to stand with him, saying that they too would face any penalties the Republican majority might have in store for Booker.

Booker makes a fine stand in for Spartacus, but Brett Kavanaugh is no Crassus. Marcus Licinis Crassus was Spartacus’s most famous enemy. A Roman politician and general, Crassus fought Spartacus in the Third Servile war. Crassus was one of three men, along with Pompey the Great and Julius Caesar, to form the First Triumvirate of the (very) late Roman Republic.

I’ve read about Crassus, I’ve listened to the Crassus episodes of Mike Duncan’s excellent History of Rome podcast, and let me tell you, Brett Kavanaugh is no Crassus. He couldn’t hold his togo.

Here are the key differences between the two men:

1. Crassus Was Actually Rich.

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One of the wealthiest men in Rome, Crassus was actually a patron of Julius Caesar’s who was chronically hounded by his creditors.

Kavanaugh could use a patron like Crassus. Maybe then he could pay off his baseball tickets.

2. Kavanaugh Is Fighting The War He Always Wanted

Brett Kavanaugh was basically made in a Federalist Society test tube to fight this particularly Senate confirmation battle. That the FedSoc couldn’t dredge up somebody who didn’t lie before Congress says something about them. But in terms of judicial philosophy, Kavanaugh was born for his role.

Crassus never was. Despite his wealth, he was always being passed over for the best military assignments, and outshone by greater generals.

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Crassus was only around to deal with Spartacus’s slave uprising because Pompey was off fighting greater battles. Even as Crassus was finally putting down Spartacus, Pompey tried to come back and steal the credit.

3. Crassus Hung His Enemies Along The Appian Way

After finally crushing Spartacus, Crassus allegedly crucified 6,000 captured slaves, to serve as a warning against future slave revolts.

Crassus’s war was meant to dissuade future revolts against Rome. Kavanaugh, should he be successful, is more likely to inspire revolts against his decisions. A majority of the country disagrees with the kind of decisions Kavanaugh promises to bring. You can only rule as a minority for so long before the majority rises up against you.

Marcus Licinius Crassus was a great and complicated man of his era. Brett Kavanaugh is a mere functionary here to vote as he’s been trained to vote. He’s important, but not a worthy enemy.

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.

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