Why My Spouse Joins Me On My Business Trips
Traveling together for work as a couple comes with almost too many perks to mention.
Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Elise Buie back to our pages. Click here if you’d like to donate to MothersEsquire.
A few years ago, I signed up for a work-related retreat and asked how much extra it would be for my husband to attend. My husband and I, both empty nesters, always make it a point to travel together on our respective work trips, so this was not the first time I had made such an inquiry. It was, however, the first time I was met with resistance.
The organizer told me in no uncertain terms that spouses, including mine, were unwelcome. In the heat of the moment, I requested my money back, unregistered, and haven’t regretted my decision since. Not for a moment. Here’s why.
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Traveling With My Spouse Is Easier Than Traveling Alone
Let’s just start with the most obvious: I find traveling with someone else easier than by myself. Though traveling with a spouse has its challenges, such as navigating our sometimes conflicting schedules or the added expense, the payoff we both receive far exceeds the effort.
To deal with these challenges, we plan our schedules sometimes as far out as a year. We also incorporate the additional expense of traveling as a couple for business into our yearly budgets so we know what to expect. Sometimes, our trips do double duty; even though one of our careers served as the initial inspiration for the trip, both of us try to meet family members and other business associates and clients, too.
Traveling With My Spouse For Work Strengthens Our Bond
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Traveling together strengthens the emotional connection my husband and I already share. Given that we work in entirely unrelated fields (I’m a family law attorney and owner of a fully remote law firm, and he’s a Coast Guard veteran turned government contractor), our trips tend to take us to destinations we might not visit otherwise. Given the choice, we’d rather see those places together, exploring them during our downtime.
Rest assured, during work times, my husband doesn’t interfere with me, and I don’t interfere with him. We understand that we can’t always be in the same room when we’re working, especially because I don’t have the security clearance even to know what he’s working on!
That’s A-OK because it gives me time to explore on my own, whether to sight-see, enjoy a pastry in a bakery I stumble upon, or shop. My husband is also free to do what he chooses during those alone periods. Then, when we meet up, we get to share our experiences. We’re not joined at the hip just because we invite each other on business trips.
Having My Spouse There Offers Me Business Support And Increases My Productivity
My husband and I have very different brains, brains that work to approach and solve problems in alternative ways. The same as at home, my husband’s presence is what keeps my stress at manageable levels. He has this way of putting those issues that keep tripping me up in perspective. That’s nice to have with you when you’re on the road.
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I’m pretty sure my husband feels the same way about my creative abilities. I’m very much a big-picture kind of gal, whereas my husband’s strengths lie in logistics and organization. I am, you could say, the yin to his yang, and together, we can pretty much find a way to put any idea into action. Why would I want to leave that at home?
My Spouse Contributes To Networking And Building Social Connections
I definitely represent the silly half of our partnership. Which is not to say that my husband doesn’t have a great sense of humor; he 100% does. But not just because he’s funny in his own right but because he’s so witty. In other words, I think we make a pretty good combo in social settings, social situations often involving other couples, either because they work together or their spouse is along for the ride, too!
Social situations are an effective way to meet people, network, and solidify existing professional relationships, adding that personal component to them. We’re all humans, and it’s nice to hear from others about how they live, what they enjoy, and what they value.
I like to think my spouse and I can both read a room well. I, for one, know I enjoy having my husband with me on business trips to see if we’re on the same page about the folks we invite into our professional world, which, due to our commitment to work-life integration (or as I like to call it life-work integration, emphasis on the life part) is very much our private world. Speaking of which.
Traveling With My Spouse Helps With Life-Work Integration
If you and your partner haven’t included each other yet in your business travel plans, you’re missing out. Business travel with a partner offers couples the best of both their professional and personal worlds and epitomizes what it means to embrace life-work integration.
When my spouse is there, I’m much better about allocating my time between work and relaxation, whereas if I were in a hotel room alone, I would be more likely to forget to shut it down for the day and enjoy my new surroundings.
With my husband on work trips, we are sure to set up an itinerary for ourselves that involves work and sightseeing. With our itinerary in hand, we have more opportunities to create memories while meeting new people who often become our friends, too. Business trips, which can be stressful, become adventures we look forward to where we work hard and then keep each other accountable to relax and unwind. So what’s the bottom line?
It’s More Fun To Travel For Work With My Spouse!
Some may think that the request I spoke about earlier to bring my husband along was unreasonable and my reaction impulsive. But I’m afraid I have to disagree. In my experience, work travel has become one of my favorite ways my husband and I have deepened our relationship, not just in terms of our love for each other but our respect and mutual admiration.
Not to mention, traveling together for work as a couple comes with too many perks I am simply unwilling to part with because some conference organizer doesn’t see them and wants to be proprietary with my time. Which is almost as precious to me as my husband.
The Company Changed Its Policy About Spouses
I absolutely love a happy ending, and this story has one! The company owner contacted me after I revealed why I was canceling and informed me that my spouse — and any other attendees’ spouses — were welcome to attend.
Without hard feelings, because who has time for that when there’s so much to be happy about and grateful for, my husband and I hopped on a plane and went. We had a blast on the trip and learned a lot, the most important lesson of which was that just by using our voices, women have the power to change the world.
Stacey Freeman contributed to the writing of this article.
Elise Buie is a Seattle divorce and family lawyer and founder of Elise Buie Family Law Group, a law firm devoted to divorce and family law and estate planning. A champion for maintaining civility throughout the divorce process, Elise advocates for her clients and the best interests of their children, helping them move forward with dignity and from a position of strength.
