We all squawk about the decline in civility in our profession, not to mention others. Rudeness, nasty emails and faxes (does anyone fax anymore?), snarky texts, whatever the written medium, society has lost its manners. Manners? What are they?
Things have gotten so bad that some states, including mine, now include a reference to civility as part of the oath that lawyers take to be admitted to the bar.
Yes, it’s gotten that bad. I think that the rise of email and texts has contributed to this sorry state of civil affairs. Why do I think that?
In Sherry Turkle’s book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age (affiliate link), she makes the point that conversation requires face-to-face contact (or at least Skype, Facetime, or, failing that, a phone conversation). Conversations require intimacy, Turkle says; emails and texting don’t.
Never mind that they’re preserved forever, never mind that they’re discoverable, lawyers (and not just millennials) prefer the distance of emails and texts to a conversation. Plus, in an email or text, one can be as nasty or snarky as one chooses (without thinking about whether it will be attached as an exhibit to some motion). There’s no give and take, no replies, no rebuttals, just sending it out into the world, free from any constraints about what to say and how to say it.
If you don’t think that conversation is important any more in this digital age, Turkle says you’re wrong. One example she gives: a law firm in Chicago found that lawyers who spend more time with clients face to face brought in more business, and so, how much lawyers socialize is now part of their performance reviews. In an MIT study (Turkle is a professor there), the results were contrary to what many millennials practice and preach: on-line encounters don’t have the same impact as face-to-face ones.
Conversation is harder these days when people work remotely, perhaps only coming to an office one or two days a week, “hoteling,” or whatever you choose to call it. The business case for doing so makes economic sense, but what is lost when people do not get together for a conversation, whatever the issue? Whatever happened to walking down the hall to ask a colleague a question, to get another point of view, to run an issue by someone who has “been there, done that”?
Millennials admit that they aren’t comfortable with telephone conversations or face-to-face talk. In dinosaur days, we lawyers didn’t have email, faxes, or texts, and so we had to rely on the old-fashioned ways of communication of letters (they usually took several days to arrive) and the telephone. Not a smart phone, but the kind that we dinosaurs grew up with — in other words, landlines. (They weren’t called that years ago; they were simply called phones.)
A millennial lawyer friend of mine called me with a question that I knew would need a much more detailed response than I could provide. I suggested she call “A,” a dinosaur lawyer friend of hers, for assistance. She said she would send an email. I said no, call “A” now and ask if he’s willing to help you. (Despite our reputations, I have always found that many lawyers are extremely generous with their time and their form files to help a colleague, especially a newer lawyer.) So, guess what, she called “A,” and the lawyer was not only willing to answer her questions, but provided her with sample forms, and was willing to review her drafts to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. Her relief was palpable.
Would that have been the same result in an email? Maybe, maybe not, but the immediacy and yes, even the intimacy of a phone conversation, helped move my friend out of the rut and gave her the confidence and the tools to get the assignment completed. Would I say that she’s now a convert to phone and face to face? You’d have to ask her.
Email and texts are both shields and swords, neither of which particularly recommends them. It’s not just the dynamic of a face-to-face conversation, but it’s also learning how to read body language (essential if you’re a trial lawyer or hope to become one). It’s non-verbal cues that can make or break a case sometimes, and if you don’t know how to read them, you won’t know how to use them to best advantage.
When you sit in front of a screen, be it a desktop, laptop, smartphone, or tablet, you control your environment, says Turkle. When you have a conversation, you don’t. That’s very scary to many people, especially to younger lawyers who grew up with all of this technology, but aren’t comfortable with the old-fashioned dinosaur ways of communicating.
I think there’s a valuable lesson here for all of us. We are professional control freaks and so, to the extent possible, we want to control every aspect of our professional lives and when we have conversations, we can’t control what the other person is thinking or saying.
Take to heart comments from a group of appellate judges: the lawyers who appear in front of them are less able to make their points in person. The lack of conversation and the reliance upon digital media means that they’re less able to be effective advocates (and I think this is true at both the trial and appellate levels). It’s one thing to be able to communicate in writing, but it’s another to be able to communicate in person and to be challenged on the spot by the court and/or opposing counsel, to think on one’s feet. Conversation helps lawyers to sharpen those skills.
As Turkle notes, “Emails and texts make quick responses possible; they don’t make them wise.” We’ve all sent emails and texts that have been quick but definitely not wise. Wisdom is knowing how and when to use the delete key, but it’s also understanding the importance of conversation in this digital age.
Jill Switzer is closing in on 40 (not a typo) years as a active member of the State Bar of California. Yes, folks, California, that state west of the Sierra Nevada, which everyone likes to diss. She’s had a diverse legal career, including stints as a deputy district attorney, a solo practice, and several senior in-house gigs. She now mediates full-time, which gives her the opportunity to see old lawyers, young lawyers, and those in-between interact — it’s not always pretty. You can reach her by email at [email protected].
