Morning Docket
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* Trump’s businesses nuked by judge. Why does the woke mob keep doing this just because he’s committing “crimes”? [CNN]
* Amazon’s business practices run into Sherman Act. Bad week for Primes. [Reuters]
* JP Morgan spending $75 million to settle Jeffrey Epstein claims which is a totally normal thing banks do. [Law360]
* Boutique cashes in on Lewis Brisbois defection/catastrophe. [Bloomberg Law News]
* The tech driving legal gets pricier. [Legaltech News]
* What’s 400 gigs of confidential data among friends? [The Recorder]
* Bombs away. [LegalCheek]
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* George RR Martin among the authors suing OpenAI for allowing the algorithm to train on their work. Did the AI learn to sit on an anticipated project for over a decade? Because otherwise it’s not clear what it’s learning from Martin. [Reuters]
* Former DHS Secretary turned security consultant Michael Chernoff warns that AI needs proactive guardrails. Great point… now go back to collecting millions of dollars from the Supreme Court to tell them they did a great job investigating the Dobbs leak without bothering to interview the most likely suspects. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Attorney attempted to attend two CLEs at once. Most would call this blatantly unethical, but it’s also impressive multitasking. [ABA Journal]
* The Feds closed up the investigation into Los Angeles water and power billing violations — involving allegations of attorney misconduct — without charging anyone. [LA Times]
* SEC issues new rules to bar funds from touting ESG work when they aren’t really investing in ESG work. A sound policy that won’t matter when Republicans ban private enterprise from spending money on causes they don’t like. [Law360]
* DISCO hit with a securities class action over financial disclosures. [Legaltech News]
* Which seems to be the least of the problems over there. [Daily Mail]
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* This may come as a shock, but new study suggests the public defender system is overburdened. Who could have known other than anyone who listened to public defenders for the last 50 years? [ABA Journal]
* Cleta Mitchell missed out on indictment, but the disgraced former Foley & Lardner lawyer is still leading the election denial movement. So maybe it’s more fair to say she’s escaped indictment so far. [The Intercept]
* For a guy with a Real Housewives pedigree, Tom Girardi does not understand a hot mic. [Law360]
* Wachtell still trying to get its Twitter money. [American Lawyer]
* Court papers can now “slide into your DMs,” proving Twitter really can get worse. [Legaltech News]
* Law firms line up to advise clients on maintaining productive and often client- and investor-demanded diversity programs in the face of activist lawsuits. While other firms cower in fear. [Reuters]
* DISCO chief’s departure causes shares to take a tumble. What’s next for Kiwi Camara? If history is any guide, maybe a company called “Hair Metal.” [Bloomberg Law News]
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* If Senator Whitehouse thinks John Roberts will take action after Sam Alito straight up admitted to breaching ethics rules, then he doesn’t know John Roberts! [Law360]
* Oregon Supreme Court voting on whether to become the first state in the modern era to offer a full apprenticeship path to the bar. [Reuters]
* GPT-4 wins a lawyering contest featuring various AI options, but still isn’t as good as humans. Kinda supercharges why states might want to find licensing pathways that don’t involve an algorithm gaming a test, huh? [New Scientist]
* Nationwide says it is not on your side if you’re accused of aiding in an abduction. [Law.com]
* John Eastman has failed to get out of his disciplinary proceeding on Fifth Amendment grounds. That was the obvious outcome, but if John Eastman accepted the obvious dictates of the law he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. [Bloomberg Law News]
* An interview with super agent Leigh Steinberg. [ABA Journal]
* CiteRight and Jurisage to merge as Canadian legal tech providers eye expansion. [Law.com International]
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* Elon Musk calls for global boycott of Latham & Watkins over firm’s work with the homeless. [San Francisco Standard]
* FTC says district court ruling on Microsoft deal “riddled with errors” marking the eight millionth time “Microsoft” and “riddled with errors” have appeared in the same sentence. [Law360]
* Speaking of the FTC, they’re also cracking down on social media influencers. Wouldn’t you know it… right before my career takes off! [Corporate Counsel]
* ABA sets up committee to explore the risks and opportunities of AI even though we’ve been discussing the risks and opportunities of AI ad nauseam for months now. [Reuters]
* Orrick sued again over hacker attack. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Reveal expected to announce acquisition of Logikcull and IPRO. [WSJ]
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* Depressed about how awful the Supreme Court is right now? Maybe it’s not the worst. I mean it’s still bad, but there’s room for hope. [Vox]
* AI is not an artist. Judge reject copyright for AI generated artwork. [Law360]
* Biden administration wants to be able to block you. The Solicitor General will argue to the Supreme Court that government officials that blocker social media users on their own personal accounts do not violate the First Amendment. [Law.com]
* So, this is how Hunter Biden’s plea deal fell apart. [Politico]
* Asa Hutchinson understands the 14th Amendment, think Donald Trump is likely disqualified from running for president. [The Hill]
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* White House Counsel Stuart Delery is leaving the job next month. Where will the revolving door land? Probably Gibson Dunn. [Law360]
* State judge blocks Texas law that barred Houston — and only Houston — from running its local elections after the city started electing Black women. [AP]
* NY Times mulls suing OpenAI to prevent GPT from learning how to compose whataboutism takes that put David Brooks out of a job. [NPR]
* We knew Thomson Reuters planned to buy Casetext for $650 million. It’s now official. [Legaltech News]
* Yes, you can lose your job for posting about committing vehicular manslaughter against Black people. [Reuters]
* Supreme Court could improve its legitimacy by hewing closer to rigorous policy analysis. They can’t even do rigorous historical analysis, how are they supposed to do rigorous policy analysis? [Milken Institute Review]
* Before getting indicted for joining criminal coup-spiracy, Ken Chesebro was a Larry Tribe research assistant. [ABA Journal]
* EEOC considers renewing race and gender pay reports. Raising concerns about litigation from anti-affirmative action forces who are so sure that discrimination doesn’t exist that they don’t want anyone checking their work. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Fired attorney calls cops on partner. [Roll on Friday]
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* Keep track of who’s who in the latest indictment. [Politico]
* Meanwhile, Abbe Lowell and Winston & Strawn have stepped up their collective role in the Hunter Biden case, arguing that the original plea agreement included binding government promises that didn’t evaporate just because the judge rejected the deal. [Law360]
* CFPB going after data brokers selling people’s personal data. Yet again, the government agency making the most direct, tangible impact for people is the one that still worries that every election might be its last. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Justice Department urges Supreme Court to deal with unconstitutional social media laws out of Texas and Florida. [Reuters]
* Has “flexibility” lost all meaning when it comes to law firm office scheduling? No. Just because some law firms try to engage in flexibility newspeak, doesn’t actually change its meaning. [American Lawyer]
* AI may not be ready to replace lawyers, but the California Innocence Project is leveraging the tool to assist in pursuit of justice. [ABA Journal]
* London Kirkland team headed to Paul Weiss resigned on a Sunday in a power move. [LegalCheek]
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* Supreme Court steps in to block opioid settlement that would’ve immunized the Sacklers. Looks like someone needs to start buying some luxury vacations for Clarence! [CNN]
* FEC looking into campaign deepfakes. Not to offer Donald Trump free advice, but he might want to embrace AI and argue that all those election calls were just malicious AI phonies. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Law firm closing up shop after nearly a century in business. [Law.com]
* Ed Blum is taking his effort to stamp out diversity from the classroom to the boardroom, going after a venture capital firm that invests in Black-owned businesses. [Reuters]
* University of California drawing back from Lewis Brisbois over the email scandal. Though those guys aren’t there anymore so this is more of a “how did you let this happen?” penalty. [Law360]
* Caltech and Apple have settled lawsuit over Wifi. With that kind of money, maybe they can join the Big Ten too. [9to5Mac]
* Is an LLM worth putting off a Biglaw job? [LegalCheek]
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* Harlan Crow got a tax break for designating his superyacht as a profit-seeking venture. Though it seems like its voyages were limited to shuttling around his buddies like BFF Clarence Thomas. [Pro Publica]
* California Supreme Court rules that U.S. Supreme Court can’t boss it around. [SF Chronicle]
* Trump’s legal team heads to Judge Cannon’s courtroom today to give us another peak at how wacky this case will be. [Reuters]
* AI is often touted for access to justice, but without care it might make things worse. [Financial Times]
* USC Law appoints first Black dean. [Law.com]
* College athletes can earn money now, which means they can be scammed now. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Criminal division of the Department of Justice losing its boss to private practice. [Law360]
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* This is a shocker, but law firms aren’t all that great at business. [Law.com]
* Jones Day tried to pile the risk of sanctions atop a summary judgment motion that hasn’t even been decided yet. The judge declined to indulge this lunacy. [Reuters]
* Steve Bannon ordered to pay his bills. [CNBC]
* Northwestern fired its football coach after the campus paper uncovered a string of hazing abuses. He’s hired Winston & Strawn. [The Spun]
* Proposing a ChatGPT tax to cover the cost of AI mistakes. Some form of mandatory liability insurance is probably more efficient, but yeah. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Firms need to get a jump on recruiting clerks, but “mid-trial” is too much of a jump. [Law360]
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* Lawyers don’t understand lawyer talk either. [Scientific American]
* While Elon Musk merely whines about Facebook, he actually filed a suit against Wachtell for the $90 million in fees the firm generated whipping Elon in the first place. Now, if he can just get back that $90 million… and then another $30 billion he’d be back where he started. [Law360]
* Law firm mergers aren’t crossing borders as much anymore, which is a pity since merging presents sort of an existential crisis for UK firms. [American Lawyer]
* Sarah Silverman sues AI developers for training on copyrighted material. Defense likely to argue “yeah, but our output still sort of sucks so there’s no harm.” [Reuters]
* Private credit on the rise as core Biglaw practice area, so remember this when the economy collapses in 10 years and everyone cites “private credit.” [Bloomberg Law News]
* “Testi-lied” is super clever! Also super gonna get you censured. [ABA Journal]
* Florida will stop recognizing certain state IDs. In case you needed a “full faith and credit” hypo for your exam. [Yahoo]
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* Federal judge wants the dysfunctional Federal Circuit to go to couples therapy — or mediation as he called it. [Bloomberg Law News]
* California decides it’s far too difficult to hold employers liable for exposing employees to COVID so it just… won’t. [Law360]
* Judge in trouble for lip synching. Like you’d WANT to hear a judge’s singing voice? [ABA Journal]
* Supreme Court looks to make it safe for violent domestic abusers to stockpile guns again. Maybe they’ll bother to read the cases they cite… unlike the circuit court. [Reuters]
* Top ten highest paid CEO list reveals it’s good to be in legal tech. [CNBC]
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* While Sam Alito rewrote laws to help oil and gas exploit more land, his wife was… making land deals with oil and gas companies. But I guess that’s okay because his wife’s money isn’t “adjacent” to him because the couple is not physically “continuously connected.” [The Intercept]
* Law professor who feels persecuted because law schools hire other professors to teach classes about racism is going after a law school for having a “students of color” outreach program. By the end of the week, he’s probably going to have the Supreme Court’s backing on that one. [NY Post]
* So many of the problems facing Ron DeSantis could be solved by taking 10 minutes to read the Constitution. [CBS News]
* California’s ban on using public funds to travel to states with pro-bigotry laws on the books has hurt Black academics who can’t travel to conferences in those states. Which was the obvious outcome. Unless California plans to put resources behind bidding on and hosting all of these national conferences, the policy is always going to turn out this way. [Los Angeles Times]
* The FTC plans to file a sweeping antitrust suit against Amazon in a few weeks. It took a lot longer to deliver than a Prime package, but it’s worth the wait. [Bloomberg Law News]
* UK law firms worried that ChatGPT might be writing job applications. Oh no! How will firms survive once AI learns to write “I think my greatest weakness is that I care too much about the work.” [Law.com International]
* “Privacy Suit Says AI Could ‘Decide To Eliminate The Species.'” Or worse: cover letters. [Law360]
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* Sam Alito… COME ON DOWN! You’re the next contestant on “ProPublica is absolutely going to find all your past judicial ethics issues.” It’s becoming a popular show this year. [ProPublica]
* Trump’s documents trial set for August 14… before all the whining motions begins. [Law360]
* Fund manager explains that the legal industry is in trouble because all of his rich buddies are using ChatGPT to write all their contracts. Oh, this is going to be very funny! [Yahoo Finance]
* John Eastman’s disbarment proceedings went about as well as you’d expect. [Washington Post]
* Interesting analysis of how the nature of the student impacts the success of online legal education. [Law.com]
* Arkansas ban on gender-affirming care struck down. [Reuters]
* America needs to embrace failure a little more. It would certainly help if corporations were more open to investing in the future instead of overreacting in the present to trim enough expense to save a penny before the end of the quarter. [O’Dwyer’s]
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* Lawyer accused of blowing millions of client money in Vegas will plead guilty. Guess she didn’t like her odds… [NY Post]
* Magistrate in Trump’s arraignment has an extensive history of quoting music lyrics in opinions. Maybe Siting on the Potty? [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
* Clients want to see more innovation out of law firms. Surely junking all their remote collaboration infrastructure and forcing everyone to sit in high overhead expense offices will do the trick! [American Lawyer]
* Judge blocks Microsoft’s acquisition of Activision until FTC completes its challenge. Quietly returns to chambers and fires up Call of Duty on a PS5. [Bloomberg Law News]
* Congress heard testimony about the phenomenon of scammers are using AI to fake kidnappings. While regulation is probably needed… doesn’t this just make real kidnappings less likely? I mean, Nigerian princes don’t even bother asking me to help them move their money anymore. [Courthouse News Service]
* E. Jean Carroll granted leave to amend complaint to include all the new defamation committed after she won the first lawsuit. [Reuters]
* Partner sues McDermott and a recruiter for failing to disclose conflicts the firm had with his book of business. Not sure why the recruiter would know if the firm intended to hide the ball on its own business, but hey. [Law360]
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* When you constantly admit to elements of a crime, it shouldn’t really be a surprise when you get indicted for that crime. [CNN]
* Julian Assange loses bid to avoid extradition to the United States. His camp says he has another appeal coming, but maybe he and Trump can soon reminisce about classified documents and Russian misinformation campaigns. [Reuters]
* Baker Botts eyes merger and five of its partners eye the leadership chair. It’s Game of Thrones except with more financial spreadsheets and less nudity. Presumably. [Bloomberg Law News]
* ChatGPTGate continued with a hearing and the two lawyers involved in citing the fake AI generated cases got a thorough tongue-lashing. [Law360]
* Speaking of AI, a radio host has sued ChatGPT for making up past criminal claims about him. This has been coming for awhile. [Business Insider]
* The FBI nabbed the guy involved in the allegations against Texas AG Ken Paxton, so that’s all crumbling apace. [Politico]
* ABA issues ruling on client intake. Look, they can’t all be earth-shattering the day after a president gets federally indicted. [American Lawyer]
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* Supreme Court justices issue annual financial disclosures as required by statute (in case anyone’s confused) except Thomas and Alito. Can’t be caught making material omissions on financial disclosure forms if you don’t file any financial disclosure forms! [Reuters]
* We haven’t checked in on Lin Wood in a while… now even QAnon allies are suing him. [Daily Beast]
* Prosecutors inform Donald Trump that he’s a target in the classified documents investigation in one of American history’s greatest “duh” moments. [CNN]
* DLA Piper named in discrimination suit. [American Lawyer]
* Cooley paying associates $100K not to work. Or, phrased more accurately, “Cooley is paying associates $100K to stay afloat on their soon-to-begin student loan payments.” [Bloomberg Law News]
* Intellectual property experts testify about whether or not AI are capable of legally recognizably invention. At least we know they can invent caselaw! [Law360]
* Digital cash apps becoming a key way to distribute class action awards. No more inconvenience of having to fill out that $2.38 check! [Law.com]