Celebrities, Crime, Perverts, Pets, Sex

Why You Shouldn’t Hire Natasha Lyonne as Your Dog Walker

Natasha Lyonne Natasha Lyone Natasha Leone.jpgWe’re late in writing about this story. But given our commitment to covering celebrity legal woes, we must at least mention it:

Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of “American Pie” accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in “Blade,” and “Scary Movie 2,” missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor’s dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

Even worse than molesting a pastry. But we’re impressed by her ability to rip a mirror off a wall, no small feat of strength.
This is not Lyonne’s first brush with the law:

On August 28, 2001, Lyonne was arrested by Miami Beach police after hitting a road sign with her rented Dodge and trying to flee the scene. An officer who witnessed the incident said Lyonne refused to take a breathalyzer test and told him, “I’m a movie star. Can I talk to my entertainment lawyer?

“Movie star”? Try reality TV, dear. Maybe you can be on “Dancing With the Stars” — if they’ll have you.
P.S. Why can’t the cast of “Blade” keep itself out of legal trouble? See, e.g., Wesley Snipes, alleged tax cheat. (But at least now he’s no longer a fugitive from justice.)
American Pie Actress Turns Herself In at NY Court [Reuters via Gawker]
Natasha Lyonne [Wikipedia]
Natasha Lyonne [IMDb]

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