Celebrities, Crime, Perverts, Pets, Sex

Why You Shouldn't Hire Natasha Lyonne as Your Dog Walker

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We’re late in writing about this story. But given our commitment to covering celebrity legal woes, we must at least mention it:

Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of “American Pie” accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in “Blade,” and “Scary Movie 2,” missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor’s dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

Even worse than molesting a pastry. But we’re impressed by her ability to rip a mirror off a wall, no small feat of strength.
This is not Lyonne’s first brush with the law:

On August 28, 2001, Lyonne was arrested by Miami Beach police after hitting a road sign with her rented Dodge and trying to flee the scene. An officer who witnessed the incident said Lyonne refused to take a breathalyzer test and told him, “I’m a movie star. Can I talk to my entertainment lawyer?

“Movie star”? Try reality TV, dear. Maybe you can be on “Dancing With the Stars” — if they’ll have you.
P.S. Why can’t the cast of “Blade” keep itself out of legal trouble? See, e.g., Wesley Snipes, alleged tax cheat. (But at least now he’s no longer a fugitive from justice.)
American Pie Actress Turns Herself In at NY Court [Reuters via Gawker]
Natasha Lyonne [Wikipedia]
Natasha Lyonne [IMDb]

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