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Posting Your 1L Grades on Facebook Makes You A …?

What kind of world are we living in where people post their 1L grades on Facebook? I guess that after years of status updates about your latest biological function, you can fool yourself into thinking that people actually care about your Civ Pro grade. The world is full of navel-gazers.

Companion question: What kind of world are we living in where people get “offended” because somebody posted his 1L grades on Facebook? I know law schools are hyper-competitive places, but at the end of the day, the only thing you can control is your own academic performance. Getting mad because somebody is boasting about his grades is a colossal waste of energy — energy better spent studying for the current semester (or at least trying to steal his girlfriend). Don’t get mad, get even.

I’m not really on either side of the current ridiculousness going down at Boston University School of Law over one guy’s Facebook page. You see, I live in a world where it’s perfectly acceptable to kind of hate everybody….

Tipsters report that the offensive Facebook status update was pretty straightforward. The BU Law student in question simply listed his 1L grades from first semester:

Civ Pro: A
Legal Writing & Research: A
Torts: A
Contracts: B+

I mean, sure, that’s a pretty douchetastic Facebook update. First of all, who even counts Legal Writing & Research? My dog could take that class and get an A, and I wouldn’t relate the news to my Facebook friends.

As I’ve already said, nobody freaking cares what you got in 1L torts. Is this kid using Facebook as an open résumé? If so, he should walk into BU’s Career Services office and demand better. I mean, can you name one “friend” of yours who cares about how your grades? Of course not. So this status update is just a boast.

Thanks to grade inflation, a B+ isn't so hot.

And here’s the thing: you can’t “boast” with a B+. You just can’t. You sheepishly try to explain that grade away in the unfortunate event that someone discovers your transcript. I’m no Amy Chua, but what kind of low-expectation-having motherf***er is proud of a B+? B’s just aren’t something to get all that worked up over — not on a transcript, not in a cup size, not with a fox, not in a box.

Which makes the flip side of this issue also somewhat ridiculous. From a tipster:

People said things like: “Great, now that you have the grades, you can spend this semester focusing on your social skills.” Now he is deemed “that douchebag from Section [Redacted]”, regardless of the apologies he reportedly sent out.

I realize that the policy of not talking about grades frustrates several A plus having, Top-Gunneresque gunners. How else can they advertise their superiority, their proximity to BigLaw jobs? However, this policy seems to exist for a damn good reason: no-one wants to hear about your grades.

Alright, let me clear up a few things:

* A+ is a stupid grade. I don’t know if BU gives them out or not, but if they do, it’s stupid. People can’t give 110%, people can’t do better than their best, and an A is the top grade in any rational letter-grading system.

* The Top Gun program is for the best of the best. If this guy is in it, his call signal is Goose.

* Pulling down B+s from BU might give this kid a sense of “proximity” to Biglaw, but if that’s all he’s got he’s going to learn that close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Look, I understand the temptation to be annoyed by this guy, but the best defense against people like this is to simply not care. Not to pretend like you don’t care when secretly you are seething. The trick is to actually not give a damn.

Don’t be jealous or offended; instead, pay no attention to this guy. And if you simply must acknowledge him, treat him as one would a dog whose tail is going back and forth over a nasty bone he just found.

What have you got there in your mouth? An A! You got an A? What a good, good boy you are to get that juicy A. Aww, you’re so excited you just pissed yourself. How cute! Now run along little doggy, I’ve got work to do.

(hidden for your protection)

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