It’s mid-April, and you all know what that means: some people are already starting to freak out about the July 2013 bar exam — but not about whether they’ll pass or fail. This time, people are losing their minds over their hotel accommodations, or the lack thereof.

Yes, you read that correctly. Bar examinees in New York are going to be forced to find alternate lodging during this most crucial of times, because most major hotels do not have a single reservation available between July 28 and July 31.

But what on earth could be more important than the bar exam? And which test sites will be affected by this disruption in service?

If you plan on taking the New York exam but you’re an out-of-state applicant, best of luck to you if you were planning to take the test in Albany. There’s a very high likelihood that you won’t be able to get a hotel room that’s anywhere near either of the two testing facilities.

Well, that’s not completely true. You may be able to find a room, but only if you’ve got the right stuff, baby. Here’s a tip we received yesterday from a rather disgruntled New York bar examinee:

While we don’t know where us out-of-state NY Bar test-takers will end up, those who are relegated to the Albany test site might end up having to sleep on a park bench. The reason? There are zero hotel rooms available in downtown Albany.

Why has Albany become a summer vacationer’s dream destination, you ask? It’s because a 90s boy band triple threat is coming to town the same week as the Bar exam. On Aug. 1, every 1980s-born girl’s dream comes true as the New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees, and Boys II Men converge at the Albany Convention Center for a reunion concert.

So yeah, this is happening. Couldn’t imagine a more ridiculous problem that would interfere with the Bar exam. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like boy bands in high school.

Now, at first we thought this might be some sort of a dramatic overreaction — the kind that preteens have when they find out the Justin Bieber concert sold out and they weren’t able to get tickets. Or, you know, the kind of overreaction that women in their late 20s and early 30s have when they find out that the boy band reunion concert of the century sold out within minutes of tickets going on sale.

Unfortunately, this tipster was being serious. Out of the handful of hotels that are located in close proximity to either of the two testing sites, none of them have a single room available. Here’s the current list of places in downtown Albany you probably won’t be able to stay during the week of the bar exam (for the purposes of this list, we used a check-in date of 7/28 or 7/29, and a check-out date of 7/31):

Now, this concert is on August 1, but it obviously requires a week-long stay in Albany. So, while you’re in your room (if you can even get a room) going over the rule of perpetuities again, the girls in the room next door will be getting wasted while one of them shrieks about how one time in 1998, Nick Lachey touched her hand. Or better yet, they’ll all be squealing with joy as they play with their NKOTB Fashion Plates that they’ve been squirreling away for the past two decades. And last but not least, they’ll blast Motown Philly and start singing the chorus (out of tune, of course), as loudly as is humanly possible.

Doesn’t that sound like the ideal last-minute study environment?

We reached out to the New York Board of Law Examiners, but we’ve not yet heard back from them — and we’re not sure if we ever will. They’ve kind of hated us ever since we posted their accidentally released bar exam results for all to see. They still deny to this day that the results were posted early.

Either way, we suspect we wouldn’t get much help from them. Here’s a hint found on their website:

The Board suggests that you contact your travel agent or visit the Visitors and Convention Bureau of the location where you will be taking the examination for information concerning hotel and travel arrangements.

Travel agents are still a thing? Seriously? The preferred travel agent these days is a gentleman named Mr. Go Ogle, but perhaps he’ll be able to assist with magically producing an unavailable reservation.

Aww, don’t worry bar examinees. This may be the hardest thing, but we have a feeling that if you keep hangin’ tough and take it step by step, you’ll reach the end of the road and it’ll be alright.

Earlier: Which State Has the Most Difficult Bar Exam?


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