Conferences / Symposia, Sex

Lawyer Seminar Gets WILD With 'Unprofessional And More Than Questionable Entertainment Activities'

Things got a little off-the-hook at this seminar.

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Jesus, why don’t we go to these seminars?

I’ve sat through so many panels on such scintillating topics as the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act where humorless former prosecutors lecture on the finer points of dealing with China (pretty much always China) and not even once did someone in the audience bust out a key of black tar heroin and ask if we’re ready to party. Now there’s a strategy: there’s no better way to lock butts in those seats than making the audience chase the dragon.

Well, maybe Ethics credits.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I suppose. Unless it ends up in Above the Law.

Here’s what Mike Papantonio and Mark Proctor of Levin Papantonio wrote attendees of a recent “Mass Torts Made Perfect” event (emphasis added):

It has just come to our attention that a group of individuals representing three organizations, who registered on the first day of the October MTMP Seminar at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino were involved during the seminar in business practices that we do not condone and will not tolerate. Specifically, we understand that these organizations conducted unprofessional and more than questionable entertainment activities. As a result of the reports that we have just received, we are conducting an investigation, and we not only wanted to bring this matter to your attention, but as importantly, we want to solicit your assistance in our investigation. If you know anything about this matter, please contact us with specifics.

Now… we don’t know what that means exactly, but that sure sounds like hookers to me. Let’s just say it’s hookers and be pleasantly surprised when it was just strippers.

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And in Vegas aren’t the strippers just hookers with a retail showroom?

For fifteen years, we have proudly built and operated Mass Torts Made Perfect as an organization to bring the mass tort world together and to provide educational opportunities to its practitioners in a professional and wholesome way. We bring our families and friends to Las Vegas with us, and we consider Mass Torts Made Perfect to be our extended family with all of you being family members. To find out that this type of activity would be perpetrated by anyone in attendance at our seminar is shocking and disturbing to say the least. Now that we have knowledge of this, we will take all steps to uncover the facts and to make sure it does not happen again. With your help, as we uncover more, we will send you updated reports.

Such deranged and despicable behavior! Note it wasn’t a lone wolf — “three organizations” were involved! What would cause so many people to resort to such antics at a classy event like this? Probably an ailment brought on by lead paint poisoning or asbestos… hey, thankfully there are a bunch of mass torts lawyers who can get on this!

Meanwhile, after hearing about all this I just have to say to all the conferences I’ve had to attend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGi6Q1pNbS0

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