Legal Ethics, Solo Practitioners

Corny Costumed Lawyer 'Excuseman' Needs A Good One After Fraud Indictment

He's like Daredevil, except the only thing he can't see is how badly these jokes are bombing.

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Excuseman

Excuseman

A Chicago lawyer who dresses up as a comic book superhero of his own creation and goes around telling corny jokes encountered his personal Kryptonite when Cook County prosecutors slapped him with 36 felony counts. The now-disbarred attorney, Jordan Margolis, a 61-year-old Northwestern grad, stands accused of stealing more than $1.1 million from nearly a dozen clients, “in part to pay expenses connected to Excuseman,” his wisecracking comic hero.

This bizarre collection of words actually reflects real life. Margolis’s alter ego — think Deadpool for the Catskills set — can provide an excuse for any situation. It’s a superpower that could come in handy if the prosecutors are right about this one.

But Margolis’s side of the story is a tragic one. From his disbarment proceeding, Margolis’s attorney placed the blame — an “excuse,” if you will — on a class action gamble Margolis made that just didn’t pay off:

At a disciplinary hearing over his law license, Margolis’ lawyer didn’t dispute that Margolis took the money, saying he did so to keep his law practice going after a massive potential class-action lawsuit he was handling on behalf of firefighters from across the country stalled, records show. The lawsuit alleged firefighters suffered hearing loss from cab-mounted sirens made by Oak Brook-based Federal Signal Corp., but the company has said that the sirens were necessary to warn drivers and that firefighters simply needed to wear protection for their ears.

“He had this delusional idea that this firefighter case was going to make millions of dollars,” said Lee Schneider, a personal injury attorney who has known Margolis for more than 20 years and was familiar with the lawsuit. “He got addicted to the firefighter case. … He thought it was money on the craps table, and he lost. But it was with other people’s money.”

Maybe Excuseman can fight crime with his trusty selfie-stick Segway — yes, that’s actually a thing, see the video below — but I think firefighters really rely on those sirens. People unfairly mock class action injury suits all the time — see the infamous “Hot Coffee” affair — but it’s hard to imagine the mild-mannered fire engine horn was ever going to be a good idea.

With his career ended, Margolis picked up stakes and moved to L.A. to make it in comedy, because that’s an entirely reasonable thing to do under the circumstances.

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Disbarred from practicing law in Illinois over the alleged thefts, he is living in Los Angeles, trying to find work as a screenwriter and tweeting jokes like “Rest in Prince” after the famed singer’s recent death, according to his lawyer and social media accounts.

Really? That’s the best you came up with? It took me about 15 seconds to Tweet “Now he really is the Artist Formerly Known As Prince” and I’ll wager at least 2 million other people had the exact same thought in even less time. You’re trying to be a professional comic and all you have is “Rest in Prince”?

And yet somehow, no matter how this case turns out, this video remains the most infamous crime he’s ever committed.

He’s like Daredevil, except the only thing he can’t see is how badly these jokes are bombing. Seriously, the amateur pubic hair jokes stiltedly read off notes are actually better than anything Excuseman offers.

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But if you’ve got a hankering for more, you can follow the adventures of Excuseman in The Misadventures of Excuseman, Excuseman Only Tortures English (affiliate links), and the files of the Cook County Clerk’s Office.

Lawyer with comic ambitions as ‘Excuseman’ charged with thefts from clients [Chicago Tribune]

Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

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