Trials, Weirdness

Arson Trial Ends With Lawyer's Pants On Fire -- Not A Metaphor, His Pants Caught Fire

The dumbest closing argument ever?

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Attorney Stephen Gutierrez faced a trial by fire yesterday afternoon when his pants actually caught flame during his closing arguments. In an arson case.

And they say irony is dead.

Gutierrez, a 28-year-old Miami lawyer, was in the midst of his closing argument — that his client’s car was beset by “spontaneous combustion” — when smoke began to emerge from his pants and he rushed out of the courtroom. Spontaneous combustion? Hey, if it’s good enough for the Ancient Aliens set, it’s good enough for a Florida courtroom.

But the fact that Gutierrez unexpectedly burst into flames during an impassioned plea to believe in spontaneous combustion has more than a few questioning if this wasn’t a stunt gone wrong. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, critics say. From the Miami Herald:

Stephen Gutierrez, who was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was not intentionally set on fire, had been fiddling in his pocket as he was about to address jurors when smoke began billowing out his right pocket, witnesses told the Miami Herald.

He rushed out of the Miami courtroom, leaving spectators stunned. After jurors were ushered out, Gutierrez returned unharmed, with a singed pocket, and insisted it wasn’t a staged defense demonstration gone wrong, observers said.

First of all, if this were staged, this guy just upped the bar for “zealous representation.” Lighting yourself aflame? Top that with your overnight contempt detainment. Second, what exactly would he have expected a stunt, in an ideal world, to look like? “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may not believe in spontaneous combustion, but behold! Flame on!” Then, after a round of gasps, the case is promptly thrown out and Gutierrez confidently exits the building.

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There’s no way anyone storyboards this out that ends well. Wouldn’t you make a trial run at home to see what it looks like? At least to see how badly you’d roast your chestnuts over that open fire. The timing is suspicious, but it’s hard to imagine anyone thinking this would be a good idea.

On the other hand, Gutierrez blames an exploding e-cigarette, which absolutely happens because vapes are the Galaxy Notes of nicotine delivery methods. I recognize that a lot is being made of Gutierrez fiddling in his pocket before the incident, but he’s a vaper. Have you ever met someone who vapes? Above the Law’s own Elie Mystal vapes and he clutches that thing like it’s the frigging One Ring. Of course, Gutierrez was fiddling with it during his closing.

For the record, the jury found Gutierrez’s client guilty of second-degree arson.

So, who do you believe?

Do you believe this lawyer's pants caught fire accidentally?

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Hot story: Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial in court [Miami Herald]

HeadshotJoe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

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