Movies, Politics

Standard Of Review: Who Will Play Trump's Attorneys In The Inevitable Film?

A lot of old white men -- but which ones? Some thoughts from culture columnist Harry Graff.

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Lawyers, Donald Trump wants YOU! (photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

A fundamental truth about President Donald Trump that supporters and detractors alike must concede is that the man has a lot of attorneys in his orbit. Seemingly every time I read or watch the news, I am faced with a new lawyer defending the administration or Trump personally.

While the substance of Trump’s legal defense continues to be covered exhaustively in these pages and elsewhere, today I am interested in a different topic: who will play these attorneys when the inevitable film is made? Below are some casting ideas (unfortunately, because all of the attorneys in question are older white men, my casting options were a bit limited).

Ty Cobb

Ty Cobb – Cobb is the mustachioed former Hogan Lovells partner who joined the Trump administration in July. Recently, Cobb was in the news for being overheard by New York Times reporter Kenneth P. Vogel at a Washington, D.C. steakhouse discussing the Russia investigation, presidential privilege, and more, with fellow attorney John Dowd.

The obvious choice to play Cobb would have been 1990s Wilford Brimley, but he is a bit long in the tooth right now (Cobb in in his mid-sixties, and Brimley is eighty-two and does not act much these days). Richard Griffiths, who, among many other roles, played Vernon Dursley in the Harry Potter films, would also have been perfect, but he sadly passed away in 2013.

With those caveats, I’d like to propose Mandy Patinkin for the role. I have not been a fan of Homeland for several seasons (though I still watch it like a sucker), but Patinkin always puts in a solid performance. Plus, putting aside facial hair, Patinkin’s face bears a resemblance to Cobb, and they are the same age. (Patinkin would just have to dye his beard and hair to go from the salt-and-pepper look he sports on Homeland to Cobb’s full gray look.)

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John M. Dowd (screenshot via YouTube)

John Dowd – Along with Cobb, Dowd was the other member of the lunch heard round the New York Times reporter. The former Akin Gump partner and current proprietor of his own practice has a notable résumé, having acted as the Special Counsel for the Commissioner of Baseball during the Pete Rose betting scandal. He also defended Raj Rajaratnam in his insider trading case. The actor who immediately comes to mind is Timothy Spall, who, among many other things, starred in the 2016 film Denial. Even though Spall is a little younger than Dowd, he definitely bears a resemblance. If we need to cast someone who is more age-appropriate, I would go with Jeffrey Tambor.

Jones Day partner turned White House counsel Donald F. McGahn II (via YouTube)

Donald F. McGahn II – McGahn is the current White House Counsel, having previously served as Trump’s campaign counsel. The New York Times has reported about tension between Cobb and McGahn with respect to how cooperative to be in response to the Mueller investigation. McGahn could frankly be played by numerous actors, but I am going to go with Kyle MacLachlan, who frequently wears his hair long in McGahn’s preferred style. Plus, MacLachlan is having a renaissance of sort this year thanks to the Twin Peaks sequel series. If MacLauchlan is unavailable, the fake movie should cast Peter Sarsgaard, who is closer in age to McGahn and also frequently wears similar hair.

Marc Kasowitz (screenshot via YouTube)

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Marc Kasowitz – Kasowitz, one of the the name partners at Kasowitz Benson Torres, was formerly Trump’s attorney but reportedly ended his representation in July after, among other things, sending profanity-laced and threatening emails to a random person. The natural casting choice for Kasowitz is John Slattery, as the two have similar white hair. But amazingly, Slattery is ten years younger than Kasowitz (how is it humanly possible that Slattery is only fifty-five? That means he was only in his mid-forties when Mad Men premiered!). Nevertheless, I think Slattery can pull off the role.

Jay Sekulow

Jay Sekulow – Sekulow is most known for falsely denying that President Trump was involved in drafting a statement about Donald Trump Jr.’s June 2016 meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya, and others. Sekulow should be played by Michael Sheen. Although Sheen is a little young for the part (he is over ten years younger than Sekulow), Sekulow looks younger than his actual age and definitely bears a resemblance to Sheen. Further, Sheen can play a wide range of roles and always gives a quality performance (and no part is too small, as evidenced by the fact that he randomly shows up in Nocturnal Animals for five minutes).

Michael D. Cohen

Michael D. Cohen – Cohen has worked for the Trump Organization for many years, despite being a Democrat until 2017. Now Cohen is under investigation for allegedly meeting with Russian officials during the 2016 election. Cohen also went viral last summer after an awkward exchange on CNN in which he repeatedly stated “says who?” after being being told by CNN’s Brianna Keilar that Trump was losing to Hillary Clinton (I guess this interview looks better for Cohen in retrospect). Putting aside hair color, Cohen bears a striking resemblance to the comedian Jay Mohr (particularly in older photos of Cohen). But given that Mohr has not acted much recently, I am going to go with Jon Hamm. Why? Why not? If confronted with the argument that Hamm does not really look like Cohen, my response is “says who?”

Harry Graff is a litigation associate at a firm, but he spends days wishing that he was writing about film, television, literature, and pop culture instead of writing briefs. If there is a law-related movie, television show, book, or any other form of media that you would like Harry Graff to discuss, he can be reached at harrygraff19@gmail.com. Be sure to follow Harry Graff on Twitter at @harrygraff19.

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