Associate Advice

In-House Counseling: I ♥ Law!

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Ed. note: This post is written by Will Meyerhofer, a Biglaw attorney turned psychotherapist, whom we profiled. A former Sullivan & Cromwell associate, he holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work. He blogs at The People’s Therapist.

I feel self-conscious sometimes about the pessimism of this column with regard to law as a career path. That pessimism reflects what I see every day in my practice – miserable lawyers.

My experiences might be skewed as a result of self-selection. It makes sense that unhappy lawyers would seek a psychotherapist who is a former lawyer and writes a column like mine, and it makes sense that these same unhappy lawyers would write me letters and post comments on my site about their (mostly unhappy) experiences.

Also, in fairness, the country is in the midst of a deep recession. It’s hard to be happy at any career when you can’t find a job, or half the offices on your floor are empty and there isn’t enough work to go around and you’re worrying about whether you’ll have a job next week. I see clients from other industries who are also affected by the economic downturn, such as folks in the fashion and retail world, many of whom are struggling with long-term unemployment, and even bankruptcy and foreclosure. They’re not exactly brimming with high-spirited fun either.

The difference is that those people love what they do. They’re just out of work.

With lawyers, even the ones who have well-paid jobs seem – mostly – unhappy.

Nevertheless, in keeping with this week’s theme of cheerful good times, we’re going to ignore them – and talk about happy lawyers. Bouncy, perky, downright merry, good-time lawyers.

I have seen a few happy lawyers. They exist, and they tend to fall into two groups.

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Pls Hndle Thx: The Most Insane Question You’ve Ever Read, Guaranteed

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com

Ed. note II: Holy s**t.

Dear ATL,

I was a summer associate at a mid-sized AmLaw 100 firm in ’07, where I was assigned a mentor (hereinafter “Mentor”) who was a junior associate that summer.  I am now a junior-ish associate at the firm, and Mentor is a mid-level in my department. Mentor continues to be a good friend, and we often hang out outside of work.  At work, Mentor is responsible for channeling a lot of work my way and is my go-to person for questions and review.  Partners and other associates widely regard Mentor as the rising star in our department….

UPDATE: What follows contains adult content. There are no images, but there is description of sexual activity. We’ve placed the rest of the discussion after the jump; if you think you might be offended, stop reading here.

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Pls Hndle Thx: Eyes Are the Window to Flex Spending Accounts

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Dear ATL,

I work in Manhattan and it’s time for me to get a new prescription for my glasses. Some of my friends are saying that I should trade in the glasses for contacts, to make me look young (I’m on the wrong side of 30). But others contend that glasses give me a distinguished look which will help my career. Still others suggest Lasik — though I’m not wild about shooting laser beams into my eyeballs.

What should I do? I’ve been delaying going to the optometrist for weeks while I ponder my options.

Four Eyes

The optician isn’t a needle exchange… you don’t have to surrender your old, dirty glasses in order to procure a clean set of contacts. This is America, you can have both, especially if you have a Flex Spending account.  The real question is whether you should roll up to work in glasses or contacts. Lasik only makes sense if you like paying money for permanent broken blood vessels and blurry night vision.

Gender plays a large role in the answer…

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Pls Hndle Thx: The FAQs

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Here at the Pls Hndle Thx factory located in my parents’ basement, we receive hundreds of emails a week begging us for advice.  And by “hundreds of emails,” I mean two, one of which I’m pretty confident Elie writes and sends from secret email accounts because he knows that my health insurance doesn’t cover mental health benefits and doesn’t want me to feel like a complete failure.

Anyway, each week, the two emails that we receive inevitably ask the same old questions: Should I apply to law school? Should I drop out of law school? Will I be fired?  Help, I’ve been fired, now what?

The best advice I can give you people is simply this: learn to read. We’ve answered all your FAQs before. But if you don’t remember what we said and/or don’t feel like scrolling back through the archive, here are the Pls Hndle Thx FAQs along with our sage advice….

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Swimming Lessons for Baby Sharks

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Grover Cleveland is the author of Swimming Lessons for Baby Sharks: The Essential Guide to Thriving as a New Lawyer, an advice book for attorneys published earlier this year. As a partner at Foster Pepper PLC, one of the Northwest’s largest law firms, he helped many new attorneys learn how to practice law. While at Foster Pepper, he was named a Rising Star for three years in a row by Washington Law and Politics magazine.

Grover now holds an environmental policy position in Seattle. In this role, he has seen the world from the client’s perspective. This broad range of experience both as a supervising attorney and as a client gives him a unique perspective on the skills new lawyers need to succeed. (Swimming Lessons for Baby Sharks also incorporates the wisdom of dozens of other lawyers that he interviewed in the course of his research.)

Earlier this week, we chatted with Grover about his book, advice he offers to young lawyers, and the state of the law firm economy, among other topics.

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Pls Hndle Thx: Hot for Teacher

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Dear ATL,

What do you think about becoming a law professor? Is it a good gig? Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that I have an appropriate resume to get hired as a law professor (summa cum laude from a tier-1 school, federal clerkship, have several publications in law journals, etc.).

I’m currently a junior associate at a V50 BigLaw firm, but I’m sick of the crushing hours. However, I enjoy legal research, writing law review papers, and teaching. Also, I enjoy being condescending to nubile coeds.

But is the pay cut worth it all? I know Elie hates everything about law schools, so I’ll ignore his advice. Marin, what do you think?

Future Professor Emeritus

Dear Future Professor Emeritus,

Merely loving the sound of your own voice does not a law school professor make.  I’m sure your law review note was the single most influential piece of legal analysis since the Magna Carta, but I wouldn’t be so confident that you can just flash some publications or a federal clerkship at law schools and expect them to s**t themselves.  I mean, I graduated from a tier-1 school without honors (robbed, obv) and have been published on The Frisky, and you don’t see me applying for professorships.

And that’s assuming you actually want to be a professor…

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Happiness Tips for Lawyers

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Ed. note: Gretchen Rubin is the author of The Happiness Project. The book has been on the New York Times bestseller list for 15 weeks, ever since its publication (including hitting the #1 spot).

Although she’s now a writer, with a total of five bestselling and/or critically acclaimed books to her name, Rubin started her career as a lawyer. She graduated from Yale Law School, where she served as editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal, and clerked on the U.S. Supreme Court, for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Feel free to check out her blog, follow her on Twitter, or join the Happiness Project Facebook page.

We asked Gretchen Rubin to offer us some happiness advice aimed at a lawyerly audience. Her guest post appears below.

By Gretchen Rubin

A few years ago, I decided to do a happiness project. I spent a year testing the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. From my experience, to be happier, it helps to think about the little things in life—and also the big things. Here are some ideas specifically targeted to lawyers:

Tackle the little things: Happiness can seem like a lofty, abstract goal, but a great place to start is with your own body and daily schedule.

Get enough sleep. We adjust to chronic sleep deprivation and don’t realize how much it weighs on us. According to one study, a bad night’s sleep was one of the top two factors that upset people’s daily moods at work (along with tight work deadlines — another problem many lawyers face). It’s tempting to stay up late, especially if that’s the fun part of your day, but the morning comes fast. (Here are some sleep tips.)

Get some exercise—preferably outside. You don’t have to train for a marathon. Just go for a ten-minute walk at lunchtime. People who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, feel cheerier, and perform better at work. (Here are some tips for sticking to an exercise routine.)

More happiness pointers, after the jump.

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Career Center: Top 10 Tips for Junior Associate Success

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Career Center AboveTheLaw Lateral Link ATL.jpgWelcome to the next article in our Expert Insights series, brought to you by the ATL Career Center. This week, we spoke with Katy Lewis, Associate Director at Lateral Link, who works with associate candidates on law firm searches in Chicago and the Midwest, and with candidates seeking in-house positions. Katy has worked closely with associates, recruiting coordinators and hiring partners at many national firms, so we asked her to share her Top 10 list of what they want to see in junior associates. Whether you are a new associate or just considering a career move, the Top 10 list is useful checklist of what you can do to succeed at a firm.

As a reminder, all Career Development articles, as well as additional career coaching information, are available in the Resources section of the Career Center.

Top 10 Tips for Junior Associate Success

10. Take advantage of slow periods. Use the time to organize your office, attend a CLE, catch up on business/legal current events (WSJ, NY Times DealBook, AmLaw Daily, etc.).

9. Develop a good working relationship with your assistant and paralegals. The better your relationship with the staff, the easier your job will be.

8. Learn how to use technology.  Become proficient with firm software – learn to use Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Westlaw, Lexis, document compare software.  Understand how to use the telephone – learn to transfer, conference call, dial international, etc.  Nothing is below you as a junior associate.

The rest of the tips, after the jump.

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Pls Hndle Thx: Can I Touch You There

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgDear Pls Hndle,
Recently, I was at a bar after work with a few other associates from my firm who are on the same case as me. I was drunkenly flirting with one of the midlevels on the case, whom I thought was flirting back with me (give me a break, I was working off little sleep and too many beers), but when I went to kiss her, she recoiled in horror and said something like “get away, what the hell are you doing?”
Needless to say, it was not my finest hour and it was a dumb move. I am now freaked out that this associate will say something to HR or give me a bad review (I’m junior to her) and I’ll be pegged as a womanizer/sexual harasser and fired. So…do you think it’s better to bring this up with her and clear the air upfront or just say nothing and hope it never comes up?
Slick Willy

Dear Slick Willy,
Tempting as it is to believe that women at your firm (or elsewhere) walk around with Life Alert rape buzzers and names of employment lawyers on speed dial just itching for co-workers to so much as BREATHE at them the wrong way so they can press the buzzer, have a security team swoop in, strip you of your professional license, fire you immediately and put out a Megan’s Law alert, that is just not the case. You were drunk, you tried to make a move on a girl and she told you to get off. This happens literally millions of times a day, in bars and marital bedrooms throughout the world. Welcome to Planet Earth.
I know you’re worried that this will somehow get you fired, but I think most female attorneys in this midlevel’s position would just ignore the situation, make fun of you in an email to ten friends and call it a day. If you DO talk to her about it, what could you possibly say? “Not that you were worried, but I just want to reassure you that I won’t attempt to molest you again. Please don’t report me to HR”? That conversation will embarrass the both of you and only increase the size of her email distribution list. If she was, for some strange reason, planning on reporting you to HR anyway, a groveling/awkward apology wouldn’t stop her.
Your gross kiss happened in a bar, outside of work, and she has zero reason to give you a bad review for your extracurricular shenanigans as long as you conduct yourself in an extra-professional fashion going forward. That doesn’t mean you should start addressing her as “m’lady” or throw your jacket over a puddle in front of the water cooler. Just act like a normal human being, and either nothing will come of this situation or we’ll see you on the sex offender registry.
Your friend,
Marin

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Pls Bring Back Marin Thx

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pls hndle copy 2.jpgMarin is away this week. She’s on vacation. But don’t worry, she reports that she’s having a miserable time. She wilts when people aren’t constantly asking her to fix their miserable lives.
Without Marin, a confused law student turned to Slate’s Dear Prudence to help her out with some troubles. Apparently this law student spent the winter break interviewing for summer associate positions. One firm asked her to come into the office for what turned out to be a wholly inappropriate test run.
Click here to check out the situation and advice (scroll down to the last item).
After the jump, I wonder what Marin would say.

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Career Center: Ask the Experts

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Career Center AboveTheLaw Lateral Link ATL.jpgWelcome to the next article in our series of monthly Ask the Experts Career Development posts, brought to you by the ATL Career Center.  Just a reminder that previous Career Development articles, as well as career coaching information, are available in the Resources section of the Career Center.  
This week, we spoke with Jordan Abshire, Managing Director at Lateral Link who works with partner and associate candidates on law firm and in-house searches in Washington D.C and the Southeast.  We asked Jordan for advice on networking – what it is, how it works, and why you need to do it even if you are not actively looking for a new job.  
If the economic downturn has taught attorneys anything, it is that meeting the annual billable hours requirement no longer guarantees any kind of real job security.  Networking is more crucial than ever for attorneys who want to stay in control of their career development.
Q: Why do so many people cringe when they think about networking?
Find out the answer, plus more, after the jump.

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Pls Hndle Thx: I Can’t Quit You

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgATL -

I was wondering if you could do a post on (legal) coping mechanisms for surviving in BigLaw, besides the usual smoking, drinking, and sleeping with married partners.

BigLaw vs. Corporate America — what makes it so much worse? Is every Corporate America work environment this bleak and depressing?

Audioslave

Dear Audioslave,
I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why the commenters on Above the Law are, on average, thirty times more bitter than commenters on Dealbreaker. I think I’ve got it.
Law firms make a hellish trifecta: literal-minded nitpickers, a 24/7 service industry that creates nothing, and non-merit-based compensation. Unlike finance types or doctors, associates don’t advise companies on how to run their businesses or decide whether to operate; they are paid to paper the trail and implement others’ genius at their beck and call. Once emasculated, associates are measured according to Opposite Day, where precedent is good and new ideas are bad. And even when associates cobble together amazing No Third Parties clauses or blackline the shit out of opposing counsel’s first draft, they doesn’t see another dime. In fact, they’ll be lucky just to keep their jobs and be fleeced once again at year’s end for staff holiday gift contributions. This is all just to say that when seated in an office perfumed with farts and soy sauce, law firm life can seem as pointless as intra-office mail. Pls Hndle,Thx.
Even if you can never be happy at work, the key to coping is finding something on the outside that keeps you going. Not something corny like friends or family — more like Hapkido, presidential trivia, or being into the Titanic. These hobbies are cool in and of themselves, and when you get involved in their online communities, you get a whole new group of internet friends who also hate their jobs and are available to chat during the day. I’m telling you, my life changed when I discovered the Bedlington Terrier Club of America and The Bachelor discussion groups. I was no longer alone.
In any event, it seems you’ve already discovered the ATL online community, so you’re off to a great start. And if all else fails, you can always just quit the firm. Haha jk.
Your friend,
Marin
Elie answers the red courtesy phone, after the jump.

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