Pranks

Hopes for Collecting $1M for Streaking in front of Obama Could Shrivel

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The Verrazano Bridge to Staten Island -- the orignal "bridge to nowhere."

Don’t you hate it when rich people try to welsh on a bet? British billionaire Alki David dared somebody to streak — that means “running while naked and probably drunk,” if you’ve never been to college — in front of President Obama. Alki said he’d give the person who streaked in front of the president, with the name of Alki’s website emblazoned on his or her body, the tidy sum of $1 million.

Somebody from Staten Island (why am I not surprised) performed the feat (or substantially attempted to perform the feat) during an Obama event in Pennsylvania. Now Alki is considering hiding behind the law to avoid payment.

This must be how rich people get rich: make outlandish promises, then use fancy law talk to avoid payment…

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Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei Could Escape Hate Crime Charges in the Tyler Clementi Case

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Molly Wei didn't stop her friend for using her computer; now she could end up in jail.

Prosecutors looking into Tyler Clementi suicide indicated yesterday that they might not be able to charge Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei with a hate crime. Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan told the Newark Star-Ledger that his office was trying to see if they could charge Ravi and Wei with a second degree bias crime, but so far they don’t have enough evidence to support such a charge.

Right now, Ravi and Wei are charged with invasion of privacy, which carries a maximum sentence of five years in jail.

Given that some people have pushed for prosecution that goes all the way up to homicide charges, the possibility that Ravi and Wei won’t be charged with a hate crime (or burned at the stake, or whatever the hell will satisfy people’s revenge impulse) will disappoint many — perhaps including prosecutor Kaplan, who said: “Sometimes the laws don’t always adequately address the situation. That may come to pass here.”

And sometimes the public’s outrage completely outstrips the actual crime committed. I’ve already shared my thoughts about Dharun Ravi’s crime. Now let’s take a closer look at Molly Wei — a girl who, as far as we know, is guilty of letting a high school buddy use her computer…

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Invasion of Privacy or College Prank Gone Wrong (or Both)? What to Do With Tyler Clementi’s Roommate

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Tyler Clementi

Over the past few days, we’ve learned a lot about Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers college student and talented violinist who killed himself after his roommate streamed, live on the internet, a hidden webcam video of Tyler hooking up with another man. On September 22, a few days after the incident, Clementi committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge.

Former ATL editor Kashmir Hill has learned even more. She’s been tracking Clementi’s digital footprints, and found that he went to a message board for gay men seeking counsel after he learned of his roommate’s prank.

I used the word “prank” because that’s how I see the actions of Tyler Clementi’s roommate, Dharun Ravi. Ravi is an 18-year-old kid in his first semester at college. Along with a friend, Molly Wei, Ravi pulled a prank on his new roommate — one that went horribly wrong.

Because Clementi killed himself, the media has worked itself into a rabid lather over Ravi’s and Wei’s actions. The story was all over the New York Times yesterday. Michael Daly criticized Ravi so harshly I thought I was reading about some kind of modern day Billy Zabka in the New York Daily News this morning. Some gay rights groups want Ravi to be charged with a hate crime.

Before we crucify this college freshman, I have a couple of questions…

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Misadventures in Trademark Law: Faegre & Benson Helps Pigs Fight Unicorns

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No, this isn’t about a lawsuit arising out of the writing of Animal Farm II: Sharks on Retainer — but who knows, my original thought for a post title might be subject to trademark infringement.

More on that later; for now, let’s turn our attention to this delicious product offered by ThinkGeek (which went on sale April 1, 2010):

As a connoisseur of unicorn delicacies, I was annoyed when the ThinkGeek people exposed this product to the general pubic. We’ve already got the Care Bears on our ass; we certainly don’t need PETA getting wind of this tasty treat.

But who knew that this entirely fictional April Fool’s joke would come to the attention of the National Pork Board and their legal representatives at Faegre & Benson…

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UC-Berkeley’s Gun Club Secret Society Rides Again
John Yoo unimpressed

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Flyer via Nuts & Boalts

UC-Berkeley once again topped Michigan in the (leaked so still unofficial) U.S. News law school rankings. Boalt Hall also dominated the Wolverines this month when it comes to secret society activity.

Whereas, members of Michigan’s “Barrister’s Society” threw their dirty laundry o’er the rooftops, resulting in campus-wide derision, recent activities by Berkeley’s “Gun Club” have left their fellow students appropriately mystified and intrigued.

A Boaltie tells us:

Last week, flyers featuring John Yoo’s face, with the phrase “I’m sorry, for everything” were posted around Boalt Hall.

Everyone assumed it was just the usual torture-memo protesters who flock to Berkeley, in the hope that it’s still the Bezerkeley of the 1960s, only to find a bunch of JD and MBA students hurrying by, scowling at their unshowered ways.

On Tuesday morning, the flyer reappeared in the student center, attached to the King of Beers….

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John Yoo unimpressed“

Who Made an April Fool of You Today?

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April 1 is a dangerous date. It’s a day when punking people becomes the national sport.  It’s not just traditional pranksters like College Humor marking the holiday. Law firms and law schools have been getting in on the fun today as well.

Shortly after your ATL editors got back from lunch, we got an alarmed email from a Columbia Law student, upset about Columbia’s plan to block some popular websites starting Monday:

From: Student Senate
Date: Thu, Apr 1, 2010 at 14:25
Subject: Selective Website Blocking

Dear Students,

When the Dean’s Advisory Committee addressed the Senate last month, it conveyed the faculty’s concern regarding student inattention and declining participation in class. The consensus among professors is that in-class Internet use is the primary cause.

Yesterday, we were informed that IT will begin blocking access to certain Internet sites inside the Law School’s three main buildings, while classes are meeting. Selective site blocking is scheduled to begin Monday morning. Among the 2-3 dozen sites affected are Facebook, Gmail and Above the Law. Others may be added later.

A full list of these sites is available at http://www.columbia.edu/cu/law/senate/siteblocking.html. We’ll update this page as more information becomes available…

We’re honored to be part of that Holy Trifecta of websites, though Elie was initially quite upset at Columbia — until he visited the linked website and “got Rick-rolled for the first time in years.” Judging from the flood of emails we’ve gotten, he’s far from the only one.

Weil Gotshal and Yale Law School also performed some prestigious pranks. You’d think legal types’ natural cynicism would help protect them today. But you’d be wrong…

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Departing with Flair

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Akin Gump logo.JPGHave you had the privilege of voluntarily leaving your Biglaw job? I have, and let me tell you, the last day is a special kind of awesome. You kind of walk around, taking a survey of things you no longer have to deal with. Many of your friends and colleagues look at you with envy in their eyes. Friends of mine outside of the law have told me that leaving a job is bittersweet; but most associates who have left Biglaw on their own terms describe the sensation as “delicious.”

Now, when I left, I said all the right things, said goodbye to all the appropriate people, and wrote a standard, passionless departure memo. No gloating from me, I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could. But looking back on it, I wish I had done something notable. Nothing outrageous: boiling the managing partner’s pet rabbit sounds appropriate but is ultimately unsatisfying. I just wish I had taken advantage of my last day in some mildly humorous way.

An associate who left Akin Gump last week will have no such longstanding regrets. Here’s the “seeking contacts” email that was sent to the entire firm once the associate had both feet out of the door:

Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 11:59 AM
To: FW ALL
Subject: Seeking contacts

Pardon the interruption. Please respond to sender only if you can recommend a reasonably priced plaintiffs’ attorney in Costa Rica. A friend of the firm has a handful of potential plaintiffs who believe there is a connection between their testicle cancer and a chemical used to make tea bags. They are looking for an attorney in Costa Rica to advise and represent them in this matter.

Thanks,
[Redacted]

You know, the lives of Biglaw attorneys are such that on first blush one might think that this message was intended seriously.

But we spoke with the associate who sent out the message. Thankfully, the message was a product of a last day dare.

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Graduated Top of Your Class at Harvard? This $28K Job May Be For You

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Craigslist small.jpgA few readers have sent along the link to this Craigslist ad for an “ASSociate Attorney” based in midtown Manhattan:

Small, congenial law firm needs top notch associate attorney to join our exceptional team. Please do not apply if you do not meet the following requirmenets: [sic]
1. Top half of the class at Harvard, Yale, UPenn, U Michigan, or Georgetown; top 10% at U Chicago, Boalt or UCLA. Top 1% everywhere else.
2. Law review and/or moot court experience a MUST.
3. Federal Clerkship REQUIRED.
4. Must be willing to accept $28,000 per year. $10,000 bonus for billing over 2500 hours a year. The bonus is pro-rata more, so it is worth the extra billing.
5. Must be willing to make coffee every hour, on the hour. The position is open becuase [sic] our last associate sustained severe burns from the hot plate in which the coffee post rests. We had to discharge him as he required too much “leave” time.
6. Insurance after two years, with employee contribution at 50%.
7. Must be willing to share a desk with a paralegal. She said you can have the top drawer.
8. Must be in the office by 8am, and remain until 10pm. On Fridays, you can leave by 9:30pm.
9. Must be a team player.
Please send resume to the link above. Good luck- hope to see you soon!

We ASSume this is a joke. It’s not the first time an attorney frustrated by the job search has used Craigslist humor to vent.
We’re curious, though, about the law school biases. You only have to be top half at U Penn to meet their requirements, but you have to be top 1% at NYU or Columbia. What’s up with that?
UPDATE (12:16 p.m.): The man behind the ad steps forward. It’s not his first appearance on these pages. And he gives us hope that the job market may just be improving, after the jump.

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Funny Craigslist job listing makes us sad

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Craigslist.jpgApparently, many ATL readers are conducting their job searches via Craigslist, because this posting has appeared in our inbox more frequently than lobster references in the comments.

We’ve already mentioned it in Non-Sequiturs, but we’re returning to it to beg you to stop sending it to us, and to give you the story behind it. For those not in the know, here’s the legal job listing that many a job searcher has stumbled across:

Associate Attorney (Midtown West)

Reply to: job-991754136@craigslist.org [?]

Date: 2009-01-13, 5:41PM EST

Fast-paced 20-attorney law firm looking for an eager associate to join our growing practice. We understand that you may be a newly-admitted attorney looking for their first job. We also know that the economy is harsh right now. However, we are willing to give you a chance. Here are the details of this spectacular opportunity:

* Your salary will be $30,000 per year. We understand that this may be on the low end (since you probably are six figures in debt), but we will be able to give you unlimited opportunities for experience and you’ll be making six-figures soon enough. On the other hand, we will bill our clients $300 for every hour of your work; at least you will know your work is valued by us in several ways.

* There is no health insurance, but we have an on-site 2nd year medical student who will abide by the upmost professional standards take care of any illnesses or injuries that occur, both on-site and off-site.

* You will be expected to work 12 hour days, six (6) days of week. You will be afforded 1 week of vacation time, and three (3) sick days. Your vacation time is limited to the months of January and February, as we will need you to be in the office while the partners are taking their time off in the summer. The good news is that you will earn vacation and sick pay as soon as you start. The only holidays that the Firm observes are Christmas and Thanksgiving, but you must work a half-day, as we are a busy and important firm who adheres to our clients’ needs.

* Your bonus, if earned (by billing 2100 hours per year), will consist of a one-year membership to a “food-of-the-mouth” club of your choice. In 2008, every associate took advantage of this valuable program and has benefited greatly for their hard work and dedication.

Please email resume, cover letter, salary history, law school and college transcripts to the address above. We will also need you to take a drug test. All resumes and credentials will be held in strictest confidence

Ridiculous and hilarious, right? Obviously a joke? Well, we talked to the guy behind the ad — a contract attorney who’s looking for a permanent firm job himself — and he says he has received over 100 e-mails, including two from recruiting agencies, in response to his satirical listing.

Find out which recruiting agencies, and the story behind the posting, after the jump.

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Kirkland & Ellis Restructuring Lawyers: Dressing for Success?

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Kirkland Ellis LLP logo Above the Law blog.jpgEarlier in the week, this email went out to all the lawyers in the Restructuring Group at Kirkland & Ellis, from the head of the group:

04/01/2008 10:58 AM
To: #FW Restructuring Attorneys
Subject: Upcoming Dress Code Program

As part of our KIRT [Kirkland Institute of Restructuring Training] programs, I am pleased to announce a “dress for success” program, which will be held on each Monday for one hour for the next four weeks. I have arranged for outside speakers from a number of prominent men’s and women’s fine clothing stores to lead the programs. In light of the number of button down shirts being worn with suits and the number of associates (mostly, male) wearing boring and mismatched ties and shiny suits, the program is highly needed. Attendance for the program is strongly encouraged.

We’ve seen how bankruptcy lawyers dress. This is a wise idea. Just don’t bring in the Cleary Anti-Afro Lady.
Also — was the reference to the sartorial dubiousness of wearing button-down shirts with suits a shout-out to ATL? See here.
More after the jump.

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Oh, So That’s How Those Law School Rankings Work

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US News World Report law school rankings ratings Above the Law blog.jpgCourtesy of Professor Dan Solove, “a sneak peak at this year’s rankings, as well as some amazing secrets about how US News ranks law schools.”
The Official Leaked US News Law School Rankings, Plus Ranking Secrets Revealed! [Concurring Opinions]

Oh, So That’s How Those Law School Rankings Work

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US News World Report law school rankings ratings Above the Law blog.jpgCourtesy of Professor Dan Solove, “a sneak peak at this year’s rankings, as well as some amazing secrets about how US News ranks law schools.”
The Official Leaked US News Law School Rankings, Plus Ranking Secrets Revealed! [Concurring Opinions]