Quote of the Day

The court will not countenance the gross overreaching evidenced under the facts and circumstances of this case in which the client is not even being billed for legal services. To move any court to put its imprimatur of approval on such practices is simply intolerable.

– Judge Frank Nervo, denying a Biglaw firm’s request for more than $126,000 in attorneys’ fees in a lawsuit over a $6,400 security deposit. Judge Nervo added that the firm spent “a grossly unnecessary amount of time” on simple tasks, including “research on the most basic and banal legal principles.”

(Which firm was on the receiving end of this benchslap? Find out after the jump, where we’ve posted the full opinion.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Why You Don’t Want A Biglaw Firm To Handle Your Little Landlord-Tenant Case”

Dude, I thought a graduate of Duke University would have more to offer… maybe you should ask for a refund.

Chance Addison, the owner of Addison E-Cigarette LLC, in an email sent to William M. Bryner of Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton. Bryner is representing a subsidiary of Reynolds American in a product marketing suit against Addison.

Addison’s communications with Bryner “have become increasingly profane, menacing and harassing, and include veiled threats to court personnel,” and a temporary no-contact order was issued after Addison randomly showed up at the firm’s office, unannounced and uninvited.

(Want to see more of Chance Addison’s entertaining emails? We’ve got ‘em.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Pro Se Litigant Trolls Biglaw Partner About Quality Of His Law Degree”

[T]he defendant’s practice basically consisted of him showing up at the office every now and again to do a closing and then leaving to go drinking or sleep with his paralegal. You can’t do $33 million in business in real estate closings if that’s what your practice consists of.

– Rhode Island Assistant Attorney General Ron Gendron, commenting on former state Sen. Patrick Timothy McDonald’s conviction for conspiring with his paralegal and sometimes mistress, Kimberly Porter, to embezzle more than $160,000 from his real estate clients.

I join the Order and Judgment. I write separately for a collateral reason. After oral argument I was designated as author. Recently, because he was concerned with the delay in disposition, Judge Kelly reassigned the case and prepared the Order and Judgment. I am solely responsible for, and deeply regret, all delay in resolving this matter.

– Judge Terrence L. O’Brien of the Tenth Circuit, in an oldie but goodie from last year, issuing himself a benchslap for failing to keep on schedule.

(Maybe this is why Judge O’Brien has since taken senior status.)

If you’re interested in the whole opinion, it’s available after the jump…

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[Andrew] Meyer is very mature, he’s very focused, and he’s very professional. He wants to take his life to another level. He plans on taking the bar exam at the end of February. He wants to get licensed and he wants to help people. That’s what our website is all about.

Carlos Miller, of Photography is Not a Crime, a First Amendment blog, offering high praise for his latest hire, full-time staff writer Andrew Meyer. Meyer recently graduated from FIU Law, and his fruitless pleas of “don’t tase me, bro” will live forever in internet infamy.

(Don’t remember the 2007 tasing incident? See the video below.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “‘Dont Tase Me, Bro!’ Guy Gets His First Job Out Of Law School”

It’s not really surprising that lawyers get paid a lot of money.

– Judge Denise Cote, defending Goodwin Procter partner Michael Bromwich’s hourly rate of $1,100 for his role as monitor in the Apple e-book case, during a “particularly tense exchange” with Gibson Dunn partner Ted Boutrous, counsel to Apple.

(As noted yesterday, Gibson Dunn is home to Ted Olson, the nation’s top-billing partner.)

‘Meow meow meow meow!’ = Please don’t eat me, Mr. Mann!’

I’ve represented people doing more horrible things to other people. [A]t the end of the day, it’s meat. I don’t know why there’s the outrage about cooking a cat.

Jenny Chaplinski, in defense of her client, Cody Mann, who was charged with animal cruelty and torture after killing, skinning, baking his pet cat with the intention of eating it.

Chief Judge Loretta Preska

Black people are not N—, even if they call themselves [that]… on occasion. It is not a term of endearment.

– Muhammad Ibn Bashir, the lawyer for Bronx Assemblyman Eric Stevenson, in the latter’s public corruption trial. The disagreement over the term arose when Chief Judge Loretta Preska (S.D.N.Y.) denied a request to play a recorded conversation that Bashir contends would prove that Stevenson’s alleged accomplice was really his enemy. Judge Preska countered that the word can function as a term of endearment in certain situations, invoking Bashir’s quotable retort.

Turns out Supreme Court Justices can be as dense as anyone else in D.C.

– An entry from a UC Santa Barbara political science student found on LOL My Thesis, a site where disgruntled students go to summarize years of work on their theses in one sentence.

Judge Martha Craig Daughtrey: Sashay, shante!

[T]he role of the district judge is not to gloss over serious issues for the sake of preventing additional work for the court. Rather, in a criminal trial, the judge is entrusted with the responsibility of ensuring that the constitutional rights of the accused are safeguarded from the whims of public opinion, prejudice, and expediency.

– Judge Martha Craig Daughtrey, in an opinion reprimanding Judge David Dudley Dowd Jr. for failing to remove a juror whose comments gave “some indication that he could not decide the case fairly and impartially” (due to its unsettling subject matter, child pornography).

Earlier: Ouch! So What Does That Make Magistrate Judges?

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