I’m dealing with this, but if I have to sit around in this cell for a few more days, I am going to go nutty.
Earlier tonight, Jerry Sandusky’s defense attorney, Joe Amendola, said that he would probably “die of a heart attack” if his client were acquitted on all counts. That must feel great to hear that as a client, don’t you think? But perhaps it served as a much needed 1-800-REALITY check.
Sandusky, Penn State’s former assistant football coach, has been charged with 48 counts of sex abuse against 10 boys over a 15-year period, and after only two days of deliberations, Jerry Sandusky’s fate has been sealed by a jury of his peers.
What was the jury’s decision?
Ahh, “sh*t law.” In case you aren’t familiar with the term, it’s what some lawyers rudely and condescendingly call legal practice outside of Biglaw. From traffic tickets to personal injury, you name it, and it’s apparently a derivative of “sh*t law.”
Back in March, we brought you a story about Joseph Neal Jr., the apparent king of one of these so-called “sh*t law” practices in Augusta, Georgia. Neal, a prominent personal injury attorney, earned our Lawyer of the Day title after he and his ex-wife racked up criminal charges for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting the family babysitter. Neal later went on to earn 21% of the vote in our March Lawyer of the Month competition.
Now, just a few short months later, Neal has been sentenced after accepting the terms of a plea bargain. The deal reduced a felony rape charge to two misdemeanors. Neal will serve three years of supervised probation, and he’ll also commit to a term of community service that some would call a bit of poetic justice….
* There’s a war on prison rape. I’m excited about this. I can’t wait to bang prison rape in the ass. [Simple Justice]
* Meanwhile, there’s more rape probing on the Dominique Strauss-Kahn front from a French prosecutor. [Fox News]
* On the eve of his law school graduation, a student reflects on “the most colossal f*** up of [his] life.” [Shady Nation]
* Jamie Dimon has had better months. [Dealbreaker]
* Defamation by half-truth. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* The California bar results are out. Congratulations to all who passed. [State Bar of California]
It’s been quite a day here at Above the Law in terms of our coverage of lecherous lawyers, specifically those who like to leer at ladies.
For our Lawyer of the Day, we bring you yet another sordid story, this time about a prominent personal injury attorney; his young, gorgeous, allegedly abusive ex-wife; and the criminal charges they currently face for allegedly drugging and assaulting a young woman.
Whoa, that is a mouthful. Let’s sort this out, and check out some pictures of the former couple….
I don’t even know where to begin with this, so let’s just play it straight:
Last week, a now ex-judge in Georgia pulled out a handgun during a bond hearing, pretended to hand it to an alleged rape victim who was testifying, and said she was “killing her case” and “might as well shoot” her lawyer.
I wish this was a joke or a hoax story. But no, it actually happened.
Keep reading to find out who this former judge is (spoiler: it’s not Rooster Cogburn) and why he pulled his piece in court…
As we heard from Elie last week, a jury is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. The already unpredictable American jury system has gotten even more chaotic over the last several years as the internet has become ubiquitous, at home and in court.
Juror misconduct by internet can lead to mistrials, and it’s becoming increasingly (and unfortunately) more common. Last month the Vermont Supreme Court overturned an unsettling child sexual assault conviction because a juror conducted his own research about the Somali Bantu culture central to the parties in the case.
What a mess…
- 2nd Circuit, Admin, Cocaine / Crack, Deaths, Federal Judges, Holidays and Seasons, Law Schools, listserv, Morning Docket, Rape, SCOTUS, Sports, Stephen Breyer, Supreme Court
Ed. note: Due to the Presidents’ Day holiday, we will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will still be publishing, but less frequently than usual.
* “Based on history, it’s tough to make the case that there should be mandatory protection [for Supreme Court justices].” That may be so, but the fact that Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed by machete point should at least make the case for SCOTUS sword fighting lessons. [New York Times]
* And speaking of the Supreme Court, this week the justices will hear arguments over the constitutionality of the Stolen Valor Act, which criminalizes lies about military service. Unfortunately, this means you will all have to wait to hear about the time Lat and I fought through 25 Taliban sharpshooters with only our pocket knives in order to save an entire orphanage from certain annihilation. [Fox News]
* Two female students at the University of Oregon School of Law accused a male student of drugging and raping them. How did the student body respond? A listserv flame war, of course. [Portland Oregonian]
* Attorneys representing survivors in the Costa Concordia crash claim that traces of cocaine were found in the hair of the ship’s captain. I’m not sure how, but this needs to be the basis for a Head and Shoulders commercial. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Heads are rolling over at ESPN after the network made several unfortunate references to a “chink in the armor” of New York Knicks phenom Jeremy Lin. Yes, we get it. Everyone’s a little bit racist. [ESPN via Deadspin]
* Judge Roger J. Miner (2d Cir.), RIP. [New York Law Journal]
How to Destroy Your Career As a Court Employee: Watch Porn During a Rape Trial and/or Fall Asleep on the BenchBy Christopher Danzig
At any job, there are various levels of misconduct that an employee can usually get away with or at least occasionally pull off without repercussions. Like, maybe you could get away with wearing jeans even if it’s not casual Friday. You might show up a few minutes late when your boss isn’t around, or you might check Facebook. I steal cars and blog while racing down East 14th after my east coast coworkers go home. You are not supposed to do it, but hey, it happens.
Then there are things you cannot do. Period. Things that any competent employee should simply know are unacceptable.
Included in this category of utterly verboten workplace activities are watching porn during a rape trial when you’re the on-duty court clerk. The list would also include falling asleep during a youth justice hearing — when you’re the judge running the proceeding.