- Bar Exams, Biglaw, Clarence Thomas, Crime, Health Care / Medicine, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Politics, Supreme Court
- Biglaw, Celebrities, Crime, Legal Ethics, Lindsay Lohan, Money, Morning Docket, Music, Partner Profits, Pictures
* Unfortunately, it looks like law schools aren’t the only ones cooking the books. According to Citigroup, partner profits in the Am Law 100 may have been a teensy bit overstated last year. [Wall Street Journal]
* A perp walk is a terrible thing to waste. Prosecutors may be dropping the charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn faster than the old frog can allegedly drop his pants in a hotel room. [New York Times]
- Airplanes / Aviation, Anal Sex / Butt Sex, Masturbation, Morning Docket, Perverts, Sex Scandals, Shoes
- Baseball, Libraries / Librarians, Mergers and Acquisitions, Money, Morning Docket, Pets, Prostitution, Sexual Harassment, Utah
* Illinois is giving sex trafficking victims the chance to vacate their prostitution convictions. Even if Reema Bajaj gets convicted, she still couldn’t use this law to clear her name. [Chicago Sun-Times]
Today we bring you a new installment in our popular series on celebrity summer associates. The stories in this series have been positive and uplifting — but we should note that we welcome tales of summer associate scandal as well.
With the summer winding down, it’s safe to share salacious tales of SA misbehavior. Please submit them by email, to firstname.lastname@example.org (subject line: “Summer Associate Story”), or by text message. As you know, we keep our tipsters anonymous.
Now, on to today’s celebrity summer associate.
Last week, in a piece for the New York Times’s Room for Debate project, I argued for reforming legal education by bringing back apprentices in law. But I was not optimistic about that change happening anytime soon.
Well, it seems that my call for apprentices has been heard. A former star of Donald Trump’s popular reality television show, The Apprentice, is now “apprenticing” at a major law firm, as a summer associate.
Who is this ex-Apprentice, and where is this person working?
* “TWISTED Anders Breivik’s lawyer yesterday branded him a maniac who pumped himself full of drugs before slaughtering at least 76 people in his Norway rampage.” [The Sun]
* American Indian tribes are still struggling to combat crime a year after federal law allowed for harsher sentences by tribal authorities. I’d make a joke here, but I agree with Chris Rock. Nobody got it worse than the American Indian. [Associated Press]
* A group called American Atheists has filed suit protesting the Ground Zero cross. I swear to God, if these communists manage to get a flying spaghetti monster fashioned out of rebar placed at Ground Zero, I’ll… I didn’t really think this one out before I started typing. Whatever. [WSJ Law Blog]
* A 15-year-old United States citizen was sentenced by a Mexican court to three years in prison for BEHEADING FOUR PEOPLE AND KIDNAPPING THREE. The only reasonable takeaway from all this is that Mexicans are very bad influences on our children. [CNN via ABA Journal]
* The next court date of Dominique Strauss-Kahn (pictured) was pushed back to August 23. Which is cool because DSK always wanted to spend autumn in New York… sexually assaulting maids. Allegedly. Lat made me add allegedly. [New York Post]
* Some longhaired freak, who surely stinks of patchouli and will be sorely missed by his Ultimate Frisbee teammates, was sentenced to two years in the clink for placing fake energy lease bids in a government auction. [Los Angeles Times]
* Which accusation is worse: running a Ponzi scheme, or embezzling from the Boy Scouts? [Patch - Lamorinda]
* What (and where) becomes of Casey Anthony now that she’s out? Y’know, F. Scott Fitzgerald once opined that “There are no second acts in American lives. But Playboy is always a wise option.” Well said, F. Scott. Well said. [New York Times]
* Some longhair in San Francisco got off a shrooms possession charge because he claimed to forget he had the magical caps and stems. He could, however, rattle off Phish’s entire set list from their Montreal show on 5/9/1998. “Trey was on fire that ni…” the hippie trailed off before asking the reporter for bus fare. [San Francisco Examiner via Gawker]
* Obama’s pick to lead the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is the former Ohio AG, a University of Chicago Law alum, a member of The Elect and, most importantly, a five-time Jeopardy! champ. [Columbus Dispatch]
* Wait, having your boss walk in screaming “Penis, Penis, Penis” doesn’t happen in every place of business? [Jezebel]
* Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s case has been adjourned until August. [Thomson Reuters]
* Yeah, well I told the phone what to do, so maybe I’m the “smart” one, and the phone has just gotten better at listening to me. [iPhone J.D.]
* When life gives you lemons, you probably shouldn’t do what this 79-year-old child toucher allegedly did, which was basically the equivalent of making lemonAIDS under Megan’s Law. [Deadspin]
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to be the key witness in a sexual misconduct scandal involving a rich and powerful Frenchman. After you are savaged in the international press, be prepared for the prosecutor handling the case to abandon you.
From the New York Times:
Dominique Strauss-Kahn was released from house arrest on Friday as the sexual assault case against him moved one step closer to dismissal after prosecutors told a Manhattan judge that they had serious problems with the case.
Prosecutors acknowledged that there were significant credibility issues with the hotel housekeeper who accused Mr. Strauss-Kahn of trying to rape her in May. In a brief hearing at State Supreme Court in Manhattan, prosecutors did not oppose his release; the judge then freed Mr. Strauss-Kahn on his own recognizance.
If Strauss-Kahn’s strategy was to attack the credibility of the witness, it worked…
Yes, I get that June 14th is a little bit late to be doing the May Lawyer of the Month poll. Yes, I also understand that the person who will almost undoubtedly be June’s
Playmate Lawyer of the Month, Reema Bajaj, is ineligible for May — and that fact might leave some of our readers with blue balls.
But you know what? There were some really interesting candidates for May. And they deserve their moment of fame/infamy on these pages. Not every lawyer has to allegedly sell vaginal access in order to be special.
For instance, some people can become famous simply with an attempt at sexual trespass….