Jones Day

* Pretty significant typo… [Legal Cheek]

* King v. Burwell plaintiffs’ attorney Michael Carvin of Jones Day has some interesting things to say about Obamacare. Like being sure to characterize the law as the product “by living white women and minorities,” which in some circles constitutes throwing shade. Racist circles. [Talking Points Memo]

* South Carolina makes its potential magistrate judges take the same Wonderlic test given to potential NFL draft picks. The justice system is even based on football down there. I assume occasionally they’ll let a defendant think they’ll get off and then give him the chair and the jury yells, “CLEMSON!” [Lowering the Bar]

* We take a break from our regularly scheduled NS segment, “Louisiana Seems Crazy,” to bring you a great idea out of Louisiana. Effective May 1, lawyers can earn their CLE hours by doing pro bono work. Brilliant. More substantive legal work to fill a huge need and less garbled streaming video. [New Orleans City Business]

* OK now back to regularly scheduled programming: arrest warrant issued for New Orleans lawyer accused of intentionally triggering a mistrial by refusing to participate in jury selection. I think Perry Mason did that once. It was one of the more obscure episodes. [Nola]

* Leave it to the people who wield the awesome punitive power of the state to be the first to give themselves a get out of jail free card. [USA Today]

* Richard Hsu scores an interview with Jon Lindsey of legal recruiting firm Major, Lindsey & Africa. Apparently, the busy founding partner Lindsey really knows how to juggle things. Literally. [Hsu Untied]

* History buffs out there may recall that Emperor Augustus instituted a bunch of moral reforms during his reign that really only succeeded in revealing that his daughter was a total whore. But what if the Emperor’s prude rules actually helped solidify his broader goals? [Law & Humanities Blog]

Throughout 2014, along with our friends at Good2BSocial, ATL once again researched the social media practices of law firms. Today we publish the first component of our findings: our second annual Social Law Firm Index, where we identify which specific firms are making the most effective use of social media.

* Ted Cruz Goes To Jury Duty is the Ernest Goes To Camp of a new generation. [NBC News]

* Former Judge Mike Maggio has graced our pages with his disgrace before when he admitted to making racist and sexist remarks about Charlize Theron’s adoption. Well, he just pleaded guilty to federal bribery charges. Looks like he’ll Geaux to prison. [Arkansas Times]

* Faced with allegations that it discriminated against a trans woman, Saks takes the curious legal stance that it had the legal right to discriminate. I’d say that takes balls, but… [Slate]

* A hearing board in Illinois just recommended a one-year suspension of former Sidley Austin and present DLA Piper attorney Lee Smolen. Maybe he could spend that time with his kids. [Legal Profession Blog]

* Fourth Circuit rules that you can’t set up unconstitutional barriers to abortion. Nothing to do with the woman’s rights of course, but because it might impact the doctor’s free speech. [Dorf on Law]

* Fired for wife-swapping. [Lowering the Bar]

* Jones Day accuses a federal judge of bias in benchslap appeal. Meanwhile, trial lawyers are filing amicus briefs backing the judge. [ACEDS]

* Technology and outsourcing have totally jacked the careers of Biglaw associates. You already knew this, but now there’s a paper! [TaxProf Blog]

Law firm tried to pull a fast one on a federal judge. The judge was not amused.

If you are looking to move in the beginning of January, your finger should be pressing the call app in your phone.

The firm sends a stern rebuke to ALM objecting to their coverage. And it's hilarious.

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Vote for your favorite lawyer letter here.

* Could this be the worst judge in the country? [WFPL News] * “Study Finds College Still More Worthwhile Than Spending 4 Years Chained To Radiator.” Congrats to Michael Simkovic on his new paper. [The Onion] * The next Hobby Lobby could be Notre Dame, who wants the right to not have to pay for insurance that might possibly allow women to purchase birth control that kind of but aren’t really abortifacients in any scientific sense. It’s represented pro bono by Jones Day. Honestly, I don’t have it in for Jones Day, but it seems like every… single… damn… time I write something about a firm doing awful things I end up typing J-O-N-E-S-D-A-Y at some point in the article. [MSNBC] * Helpful judge tells criminal to change his ways — not because he’s a criminal, but because he’s a really bad criminal. [Huffington Post] * J.D.s should consider panhandling as a legitimate career alternative. [Law and More] * Lat explains why apprenticeship should be an option for becoming a lawyer. But what if you just love law school so much. [New York Times] * Remember when Examsoft screwed up the bar exam and the Twittersphere went nuts? WBEZ spoke with Lat about what went down. Embed below… [SoundCloud]

Litigators are like unruly kids, which is why this benchslap with a sanction straight out of elementary school is so appropriate.

In a sense, Wade McCree is a symbol of everything that's wrong with Detroit.

Jones Day wanted to intimidate a guy with some dubious legal jargon. He got lawyers and fought back.

One firm put their public relations flaks on drafting a spirited defense of their black box so they can sleep better at night

Wouldn't a ceiling collapse make you stupider?

Biglaw firm is just now learning about the Streisand Effect -- sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut.

Who are the latest partners to leave, and where are they going?