* Authorities have cleared the robot built specifically to buy illegal stuff off the dark web. In related news, officer, all that panda meat was bought by my robot… for an art project. [Hopes and Fears]
* Laurence Tribe’s arguments are getting closer and closer to Homer Simpson’s. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* In case you weren’t counting, there’ve been 95 Senate roll call votes while Loretta Lynch has been waiting… [People For The American Way]
* Lawyer suspended for handing out ecstasy to drug women into sex. I don’t disagree with the outcome, but there’s one pretty troubling aspect of the opinion: “The OLR noted… that his victim was much younger.” She was 22! At a certain point can we just admit women are adults? Focus on the drugging predatory behavior instead of constructing her as an addled-brained ingenue. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Daredevil’s courtroom antics evaluated by New York Judge Matthew Sciarrino. [The Legal Geeks]
* If you’re interested in the legal landscape of marijuana, here’s a cool infographic summing up where we are and how we got here. [Diego Criminal Defense]
* If you’re interested in February bar exam results from across the country, Bar Exam Stats is keeping a running tally complete with a nice map. [Bar Exam Stats]
Can you tell the difference between actual CLE courses and ones we’ve just made up? Take our challenge and find out! Whatever the nature of your practice, our friends at Knowledge in Practice can help you navigate your options and find the CLE that works for you.
* Not going anywhere for a while? Try a Snickers. Just don’t try to write it off as a business expense. [TaxProf Blog]
* Toilet cameras involve moral turpitude. This is an opinion that needed to be written. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Police decline to charge Dwight Howard with child abuse. He’d allegedly punished his child with his belt, which is nowhere near as bad as letting them walk outside alone (if you listen to Elie’s rants). [ESPN]
* There’s no bar exam too small for his analysis: North Dakota’s February results. [Bar Exam Stats]
* A look back at the Lincoln assassination 150 years later. Something like this would never happen today — probably because Lincoln would still be on the waiting list for Book of Mormon. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* I knew SeaWorld was in trouble when I saw a glossy commercial during primetime television explaining how great they are. And my instincts were right — they’ve been hit with three salacious lawsuits in a month. [The Dodo]
* Oh, the things you learn from lawsuits! Find out exactly how the WWE feels about your city. Getting dissed by Vince McMahon must sting. [411Mania]
Although we’re dealing with just a proposed opinion, it’s no less of a warning sign for those of you who don’t know enough about e-discovery, as legal technology columnist Jeff Bennion explains.
* Attorney General Holder reminds the DOJ not to hire hookers. [Politico]
* A new demographic angry over gay marriage: gay men who want to protect their sham marriages. Didn’t expect this to be a fight. [Slate]
* Once you’ve finished binge-watching on Netflix, we ask: is Matt Murdock an ethical lawyer? [Radford & Keebaugh]
* Patent attorney David Healey at Fish and Richardson is coming out. Here’s the trailer. [YouTube]
* Richard Hsu talks about jumping off of perfectly good cliffs with Shane Glynn, Product Counsel at Google. [Hsu Untied]
* Garry Trudeau explains that just because we can say something doesn’t mean we should. Ken questions this logic. In the end though, he proves too much: there are so many powerful, biting criticisms to make that we shouldn’t have to resort to dumb caricatures. [Popehat]
* Intelligence Squared is hosting a debate on the death penalty. Watch it online Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. Eastern. [Fora.tv]
* Is it just me, or does her account actually sound awfully suspicious? [Gawker]
* Police claim David Messerschmitt’s killer stole only $40. [Washington Post]
* Lil Wayne vs. Cash Money. Which is, apparently, not an in rem action. [FactMag]
* What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Obviously, I know the answer, but let’s see if you can figure it out. [Corporette]
* Immigration attorney is a no-show at her sentencing for 13 felony theft counts for accepting fees and botching her work. You’d think she skipped the country except we know she sucks at immigration law. [ABA Journal]
* Former president of the World Bank’s LGBT employee organization is under investigation. He thinks this seems pretty suspicious. [Buzzfeed]
* The Tsarnaev trial highlights the continuing stupidity of keeping cameras out of the courtroom. [Vanity Fair]
* Another installment of “Roberts at 10,” looking at his 10 years as chief. What’s his legacy on LGBT rights? Well, unsurprisingly, we’re not going to know for sure for a couple months. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* A new study reveals that judges are less ideologically biased than law students. Again, it’s not that judges are less firm in their ideology, it’s that they’ve learned to pick their battles. [WSJ Law Blog]
* SLU Law clinic threatens to sue the city of St. Louis if they try and shell out public dollars to keep the Rams in town. I’d sue if I had to watch the Rams every week too. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
* How many law school applicants do we expect for the Fall? [The Faculty Lounge]
* The TL;DR here is that Elizabeth Wurtzel wants to be noticed. Double f**king newsflash. [Jezebel]
* A spirited debate on where the FISA court went wrong. The crux of the argument is [REDACTED]. [Lawfare]
* We’re not above telling the good stories from time to time. Like this kid who went from homeless to NYU Law grad. [Patch]
* Lawyer suspended for sexual conduct with a 17-year-old and blogging. Thankfully, not blogging about the sex. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Jeopardy! gets a legal response when it wanted a science answer. [YouTube]
Frankly, the question (answer?) is kind of bulls**t. Consent is something that gets legislated and I’ve seen Game of Thrones — those ages sound about right for that world. On the other hand, puberty is something that just happens. Unless you’re a gymnast.
We asked 850 attorneys and students how they choose a bar prep provider. Check out the answers here.
Why bother wasting away in law school when you can just tell people you’re a lawyer?
A lawyer gets smacked with ethical charges for an “alternative fee structure,” but it’s the cops who come out of this tale looking like creeps.
Have you ever wondered about the the legal ethics and attorney misconduct depicted on Better Call Saul? This lawyer writes an entire blog dedicated to Saul Goodman’s misdeeds.
Depending on what you’re selling, driving traffic to your website might not be a very good goal, as Cara McDonald of LexBlog explains.
* Last week in court, a murder suspect in Louisiana apparently pooped his pants during a case status hearing, wiped said poop all over his face, and muttered to himself that “life is like a box of chocolates.” Sorry about that crappy candy, dude. [New Orleans Advocate]
* According to early Am Law 100 data, New York’s most elite and prestigious firms have once again broken away from the rest of the pack when it comes to both revenue and partner profits. Biglaw’s best may be back to models and bottles. [Am Law Daily]
* Michelle Lee, the first woman to ever serve as director of the USPTO, was sworn in on stage at SXSW Interactive. Michelle Lee, who worked with the Girl Scouts to issue a patent patch (instead of more makeup and sewing patches), is pretty damn awesome. [Mashable]
* The federal judiciary has plans to decrease the word limit of appellate briefs from 14,000 to 12,500, and lawyers are pissed. Lawyers from Brown Rudnick say it could result in more acronyms, confusing construction, and less “punctilious citation,” oh my! [WSJ Law Blog]
* Lee Smolen, the ex-Sidley Austin partner who faked $69,000 in travel expenses while at the firm (and possibly $379K more), has been suspended from practice for one year and will have to undergo psychiatric treatment. [Legal Profession Blog via ABA Journal]
* Taking New York’s lead, California is considering requiring all would-be attorneys in the state to complete 50 hours of pro bono work within one year of being admitted. Leave it to people who don’t know what they’re doing yet to close the justice gap. [Los Angeles Times]
Four years later, and this lawyer still couldn’t get over the fact that he lost a case.