Quote of the Day

‘Your hair looks like [expletive]!’ – Bill Alverson

Being in front of a jury or a judge is the biggest pageant there is. Think of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘12 Angry Men.’ It’s about empowering the people who are going to make a decision to connect the dots. I set up the dots.

Bill Alverson of Alverson & Alverson, commenting on what it takes to win during his day job as a lawyer. Alverson has won cases before the Eleventh Circuit and Alabama’s Supreme Court, but he moonlights as one of America’s most-successful beauty pageant coaches. He’s paid $125 an hour for his unfiltered, tough-love advice, and he’s prepared many Miss USA and Miss America winners in the past.

Judge Stephanie Domitrovich

Do you even ethics bro?

– Language on a t-shirt depicting Judge Stephanie Domitrovich, worn by a man at the Erie County Courthouse yesterday. The man was asked to leave. Judge Domitrovich is currently facing ethics charges having to do with her alleged “unpatient, undignified and discourteous” treatment of parties.

Where’s my money?

For the most part, law firms realize it’s not a debatable question so most law firms pay.

– Attorney Mitchell Schley, who represents Jason Barros, a paralegal at the New Jersey firm of Pasricha & Patel. Barros and four other paralegals there are suing the firm for its alleged failure to pay time-and-a-half for overtime work.

David Nicosia

Rosa Parks, move.

– David C. Nicosia, a white Chicago resident who argued with Judge Arnette Hubbard, a black jurist, after she walked by him while smoking a cigarette. Nicosia allegedly spit in Judge Hubbard’s face, and later slapped her in the face.

Nicosia was arrested and charged with four counts of aggravated battery and a hate crime. He is currently being held on $90,000 bail.

Stephen DiCarmine as the Annoying Orange

[T]he insatiable greed of some of those [equity] partners and the decision of some partners to jump ship when the going got rough were major causes of D&L’s collapse, not Steve DiCarmine’s actions.

– Attorney Austin V. Campriello of Bryan Cave, arguing on behalf of Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executive director, in a memorandum in support of his client’s motion to dismiss the indictment.

(Keep reading to see DiCarmine’s entertaining memorandum in full.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Dewey Defendant Suggests Prosecution’s Confusion As To ‘Very Basic Law School Stuff’”

I want business that gives me a splitting headache to do, because I know that work is not going to be commoditized.

George Bason Jr., global co-head of Davis Polk’s mergers and acquisitions practice, commenting on the complicated transactions he prefers to work on. Bason’s attractive firm recently tied for fourth place with Cleary Gottlieb in Dealogic’s ranking of deals by dollar values in the first half of 2014.

Look, I’m an originalist, but I’m not a nut.

– Justice Antonin Scalia, when asked to compare his judicial philosophy to that of Justice Clarence Thomas. The story comes to us from an anecdote told by Jeffrey Toobin a couple years ago that is now available on video.

(Do you want to see the video? Of course you do. It’s beyond the jump…)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Scalia Calls Thomas ‘A Nut’”

I don’t want to minimize my guilt, as a lot of people here do. But [I] didn’t need a sentence that matches what people get for killing people or for raping people.

Matthew Kluger, formerly of Wilson Sonsini, commenting on the harshness of his 12-year sentence for insider trading, the longest sentence “ever meted out” in such a case. Kluger currently resides at “Club Fed.”

Donald Sterling

Go back to answering questions rather than making somewhat entertaining comments.

– Judge Michael Levanas, in response to Donald Sterling’s combative antics during a trial to determine whether the 80-year-old billionaire was competent to remain as co-trustee of the Los Angeles Clippers trust. During testimony, Sterling called opposing counsel a “weird lawyer” and a “smartass.”

There’s nobody I’ve talked to at Squire Sanders who doesn’t think Patton Boggs doesn’t have the potential to take the firm down.

– A disgruntled former partner of Squire Sanders who left the firm following its recent merger with Patton Boggs.

(Do other legacy Squire Sanders & Dempsey partners feel the same way?)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How Do Squire Sanders Partners REALLY Feel About The Merger With Patton Boggs?”

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