Television

* Law school kills brain cells. [TaxProf Blog]

* Dean Stephen C. Ferruolo takes on Justice Scalia’s recent critique of legal education. Oh, it’s on now. [Los Angeles Daily Journal]

* A look inside a mock law school admissions meeting. It’s not a Texas admissions meeting, so you’re still not going to learn the relative merits of a 128 LSAT. [Most Strongly Supported]

* Newsmax has a new cable network and it’s bringing on Professor Alan Dershowitz to offer “practical legal advice to ordinary Americans.” Hopefully he’ll be able to walk us through the legal points of Newsmax’s usual coverage of how the Black Panthers ordered Hillary to let Benghazi happen. [Digital Journal]

* PRIDE cometh before the court. [Likelihood of Confusion]

* A fourth case has been reopened in light of CPI’s expose of judges hearing cases despite financial conflicts. [Center for Public Integrity]

* Lip-sync battle starring 3L Ty Wood and Professors George Bach, Alex Ritchie, and Kevin Tu. Complete with cheesy effects! [UNM School of Law]

* Opening fire because a fast food place screwed up your burger order would be crazy. If they did it a second time? Well… [Lowering the Bar]

* McCutcheon at work in North Carolina. Yay free speech! [Constitutional Accountability Center]

* Texas prosecutor compares NAACP member to white supremacist. Because those are totally the same thing. [Houston Chronicle]

* In case you’ve ever wondered who’d win a fight between DMX and Justice Frankfurter, here’s your answer. [Slate]

* Having more fun with gun nuts. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* We’ve discussed trial by combat’s past before, but is it still a real thing? Video below, including shout-outs to Professor Adam Winkler. [The Young Turks]

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Kimberly Kisselovich from @Kimberly_Kisse

Move over Andi Dorfman. The Atlanta prosecutor who traded murder trials for handing out roses may appeal to those seeking a lawyerly “girl next door” fix, but if you’re looking for more of a lawyerly “girl on girl action” type, then meet reality TV’s latest legal star, Kimberly Kisselovich.

California native Kisselovich served as Playboy’s “Cyber Girl of the Month” for June 2013, but what readers didn’t know if they weren’t diligently reading the articles is that she was working on her law degree at a top-ranked school at the time.

Which show is she on? I’ll give you a hint, it’s famous for stars parading around in skimpy outfits, getting drunk, and having inappropriate makeout sessions on camera.

Oh, wait, that’s every reality show. Except Wicked Tuna.[1]

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Andi Dorfman

When ABC announced that Andi Dorfman, an assistant district attorney in Atlanta, would star in this season’s The Bachelorette, we all expected the media to force her Wake Forest Law degree down our throats as evidence that she’s smarter than the standard vapid Bachelorette. And in the process we’d hear more about how law is an exciting David E. Kelley-produced reality. To ABC she’s a real-life Ally McBeal. Except Jewish, which actually would better explain McBeal’s bundle of neuroses.

So it was no surprise when ABC treated us to this insultingly stupid interview where they force Dorfman to explain how she’s using “what she learned in law school” to find a fake husband the way other law grads find fake jobs.

How does a law degree help you choose a mate?

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* A DLA Piper partner was cleared by the firm in connection with a string of sexist emails exchanged with a client because real lads don’t get in trouble for such trifling behavior. We’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* Patton Boggs partners started voting on the firm’s merger with Squire Sanders yesterday. Apparently there’s at least one partner who will not be allowed to join the new firm because of prior conduct. Sucks to be you, guy. [Reuters]

* “It’s the best way to prepare for a whole variety of things.” Right now is one of the best times to go to law school, say California law school deans who really need to get asses in empty seats. [Daily Transcript]

* “We are a better people than what these laws represent.” Pennsylvania’s ban on gay marriage was struck down yesterday, making it the 14th victory in a row for the marriage equality movement. [Bloomberg]

* Showtime just bought a law firm comedy about “four smartass, workaholic associates” in Biglaw trying to make partner and avoid being murdered by the office serial killer at the same time. Uh, yeah. [Deadline]

Who is this fellow, and how long will he starve for?

Social media has opened many new doors in terms of people’s ability to be fired from their jobs, especially in extremely conservative businesses like law. In order to maintain your appearance as a professional, you’re expected to be on the clock all day, every day. Kiss your keg stand pictures goodbye and turn your Facebook privacy settings all the way up, lest you face undesired consequences.

Not to worry, Americans, because one lawyer has got your back. Likely unemployed due to his own social media antics, this fellow is going to forgo life-sustaining food and water in an effort to bring greater attention to how we as a society can mitigate the risks of social media — by demanding that employers stop “searching the social media accounts of their employees and firing [them] because of unpopular opinions or lifestyle choices.”

Who is the man who intends to starve himself on the steps of America’s highest court for this cause?

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* When people tell you that you can do anything with a law degree, they’re wrong. Sounds like… everything Elie writes. [Slate]

* Student debt is dragging down the economy. Is today “every news outlet catches up with Elie Day”? [New York Times]

* Everyone’s also talking about the law student turned prostitute. What about the law professor who was a gigolo? [The Nota Bene]

* Baker Hostetler lawyer leaving the law to start a gym. With any luck he’ll have a championship dodgeball team in no time. [Crain's Cleveland Business]

* Just a reminder, there isn’t a “telling a university everything you’ve done for an oral history” privilege. [BBC]

* An argument for Republicans to get serious about loosening the reins on technological innovation like the Republican Party of old. But that might require saying no to some billionaire donor, so that’s off the table. [The American Conservative]

* Professor Will Baude pointed us to a fun new law professor blog from Professor Richard Re, soon to be of UCLA Law, with an even more fun title. Here he compares Justice Sotomayor’s dissent in Schuette to Quidditch. [Re's Judicata]

* A new show about law school. It’s supposedly about criminal law, but the trailer looks more like a professional responsibility fact pattern. [YouTube]

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(c) Image by Juri H. Chinchilla.

On today’s date in 1998, the series finale of “Seinfeld” aired to an estimated 76 million viewers. “Seinfeld” lasted nine seasons, ranking in the top three of the Nielsen ratings for its last five, and is widely considered one of the greatest television shows of all time. Its success continues in syndication. Post-finale, “Seinfeld” has generated $3.1 billion in revenues for its creators and rights holders. This week, On Remand looks back at the show about nothing everything, a lawsuit about the origin of the character George Costanza, and cases that echo “Seinfeld” plots….

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Game of Thrones always touches on interesting legal issues. For instance, when the government’s dragons charbroil your flock of goats, you can totally recover damages under the common law theory of “trover.” Mhysa isn’t being nice, she just has a competent understanding of tort law.

Of far more importance to the Westerosi justice system is the idea of “trial by combat.” Apparently, any accused person can claim this “right,” and have champions fight on their behalf to determine their legal fate.

Trial by combat isn’t a mere invention of George R.R. Martin or other fantasy writers who find stabbing drama to be more interesting than “courtroom drama.” Trial by “battle” was a remedy under English common law, and by extension American common law.

And you know what, it was a pretty good idea! Not necessarily in the way it’s portrayed by HBO, but historical, real-world trial by battle was actually a fairly just and smart way of handling certain disputes…

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* Abraham Lincoln was a harder working lawyer than you are. [Abraham Lincoln's Almanac Trial]

* Quentin Tarantino has given up the ghost and dropped his suit against Gawker over The Hateful Eight. [The Escapist]

* The people who made stupid toe shoes have settled a big class action. [Deadspin]

* Judge Posner and Justice Scalia haven’t had a public fight in a while. So this lawyer is trying to stir one up. Thanks, buddy! [Legal Times]

* Colorado’s energy industry is suing municipalities creating a patchwork of fracking regulation. As the author notes, “for a state that has boldly snubbed federal law on marijuana policy, such arguments sound a bit hollow.” [Breaking Energy]

* Stop calling on Justice Ginsburg to retire… it’s probably too late for Obama to nominate a replacement anyway. [New Republic]

* Lawyer writes threatening letter to customer who wrote a negative review on Amazon. [Ars Technica]

* Our tipster put it best, “New Show on Bravo: ‘Lowering the NJ Bar.’” [The Star-Ledger]

* A young solicitor known as Mr. Kelly was inspired to release a rap album about how much he hated his training job at a top 10 global firm. His video after the jump…. [Legal Cheek]

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