Benchslaps, Depositions

Stinging Benchslap For Fortune 50 CEO And His Attorney

This is what happens when a judge just wants a party to suck it up and deal.

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You know judges have to deal with a lot of BS in their jobs — they are essentially referees in an arena with giant egos and high stakes. That’s why we all enjoy a good benchslap, the cliché of a sober judge smashed in a moment of true human emotion. If you had to deal with lawyers all day you’d probably snap too.

Today’s moment of judicial jouissance comes to us from Peoria, Illinois — and, hey, if it plays in Peoria we’re all going to love it. Judge Kirk Schoenbein is truly upping his benchslap game. And he’s taking on some pretty powerful prey in the form of Caterpillar CEO Douglas R. Oberhelman and his attorney, Steven Wakeman.

The best part is that this legal quarrel isn’t related to the business of Caterpillar and Oberhelman isn’t even a party. It’s a probate case, and his involvement seems… tenuous. As the Journal Star reports:

 [The] lengthy probate proceeding between Peoria physician Stephen Cullinan and the estate of his late wife, Theresa Falcon-Cullinan, the Peoria physician and philanthropist who died at age 64 in 2009. One of the trustees of the estate is Diane Cullinan Oberhelman, formerly married to Steve Cullinan’s brother Michael Cullinan and currently married to the Caterpillar chairman.

So his wife’s ex-sister-in-law’s estate? Got it. But Oberhelman personally made some settlement overtures and now he has to give a deposition. And it seems Oberhelman really does not like one of the attorneys that will be taking the deposition, Ed Sutkowski. So he had his lawyer file a motion requesting the deposition not take place at Sutkowski’s office (where it was initially scheduled to be held). Sutkowski can still attend, and even conduct the deposition, but having it in Sutkowski’s office is too much of an affront. That seems a… peculiar request.

What is the beef behind this motion? Well, Oberhelman won’t tell the court, except to say it involves “personal animosity.” Thanks for clearing that up. And Sutkowski told the court he had no idea why Oberhelman felt that way.

Judge Schoenbein did not take kindly to any of this nonsense.

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Schoenbein upbraided Oberhelman for an apparent lack of courage regarding the pending deposition. Even children show a stronger streak of stoutheartedness, the judge said. He recalled his career as an attorney, when he had to call children to the witness stand — through an intimidating courtroom full of strangers, to testify against vicious assailants.

“There’s a man that they’ve got to look at who has raped them, and they know that each time they answer questions that guy is looking at them. They can feel his eyes on them, and they testify.

“And so it’s a little hard for me to stomach this motion from an educated, professional man who’s not going to even avoid the person he claims is annoying him, because that person is going to be where that deposition is done. And I think this is a power play.”

For the record: kid > Fortune 50 CEO.

Judge Schoenbein also didn’t mince words with Wakeman, the attorney who filed the (frivolous) motion.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Wakeman, this is my shot across the bow,” Schoenbein said. “This is a frivolous motion. … You had no good-faith basis to file this.
“To pursue this thing, why don’t you also put in there (about Sutkowski’s office) that they don’t have tea and crumpets, and you don’t like the wallpaper?”

…

“Attorneys are not puppets,” Schoenbein said. “ … Your duty is to tell your client, in the biblical terms, gird up your loins — or, in the vernacular, suck it up and do the deposition.”

So to recap: this powerful CEO is nothing but a scaredy cat trying to unduly influence the venue to suit his whims and his lawyer should tell him to suck it up and deal. Fair enough.

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Luciano: Judge rebukes Cat CEO and reprimands his attorney in civil suit [Journal Star]

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