In-House Counsel

The Road Not Taken: Summer School - E For Effort

Once you're at a networking event, what do you do? Here's some advice from a novice networker.

By  
on

Two events in two weeks; I am on a hot streak. One event was not a formal legal networking event, it was more of a social engagement with a diverse group of people. Okay, it was a 4th of July picnic. But, there were strangers there and I talked to them without running to the bathroom to hide with a box of wine. The networking advice I’ve received over the past several weeks was helpful there as well as at the actual networking event (the second event was a CLE preceded by a networking event. I did not do so well at the second event).

Ultimately, that’s an important element of networking; at its core, it is just about meeting people. Many of the skills one uses at a structured event are the same skills one uses at a party. Be open. Be nice. Talk to people. Use your manners. Be informed so you can be interesting. For those who become anxious with the idea of social interaction, let alone career-impacting interaction, these skills take practice. There’s no way around it, if you aren’t good at it naturally, you have to get good at it. Parties, happy-hours, meetups, these are all safe opportunities to practice engaging.

We’ve already discussed the abstract ideas of going in with a goal, bringing a buddy, and knowing your audience. But once you are at the event, and you are awash in business cards and the excitement of new connections, literally, what do you do?

I was fortunate enough to meet a skilled networker at the beginning of my summer-school session. I noticed her because she was good at it. She was smooth, not just in her conversation, but in her being. Her hands knew what to do. She was polite in entering a conversation and when she left it felt natural, not like she had seen someone more interesting.

She gave advice I had not heard before that I am trying to integrate into my networking practice and am sharing with you:

  1. Remember where you are.

There are few social gatherings with a lower risk of failure than a networking event. People are literally there to network; that means they are there to meet people and talk. This is not speed dating. This is not a confirmation hearing for a presidential appointment. This is an event where you show up, say “hello,” and win.

Sponsored

  1. Don’t talk about things you don’t know about.

This is a good rule for life as well as networking events. At networking events, the people are likely to be experts in something. It is okay to say you don’t know about something. We are all adults and should understand that people have intense jobs, families, hobbies, and personal downtime of sitting in a dark room. Not everyone is an expert in everything and it is okay to say, “I’m not familiar with that, tell me more.” Not only does it prevent you from looking like an ignorant know-it-all, it is a built-in conversation starter.

  1. Some people are jerks. Even at networking events.

The first entry on this list states that there is minimal risk of failure at a networking event. However, even though the event itself is low risk, the individuals who attend may not be interested in networking. You can’t take that personally. If you approach folks who are not interested in engaging, you can retreat or stand your ground, give your card (which counts if you set a goal of giving/getting a certain number of business cards at the event), and move on. However you choose to address the interaction, you should not internalize their behavior as a reflection on you.

  1. Do not fear the circle.

Sponsored

Interrupting a closed circle of conversing individuals is intimidating. Do not be afraid of it. People will let you into the circle if you nudge in. A closed circle feels good to those in it. They are protected, but they are at a networking event. The event was organized to talk to lots of people, not just the first four people you meet and click with after you put on your name tag.

  1. Pockets and pens

Wear something with two pockets. In one pocket, keep your cards. In the other, keep the cards you receive. Do not confuse your pockets.

Bring a pen and make a note about the person you met on his or her card. Be discreet about it.

This woman was kind enough to share her years of knowledge with me. Her livelihood was built on successful networking, so she had to be good at it. She confessed it does not come naturally to her, but with practice she learned to play the part of the confident extrovert and it became less difficult. I appreciated her practical tips, but she said something that changed how I view networking events altogether. She told me to create a welcoming energy that engages others — we owe it to one another to be welcoming.

I’m not good at it yet, but I am practicing and I am seeing improvement.

Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly at[email protected].

Topics

, , , , ,