Nothing To Fear
Fear doesn’t go away, but it can be managed so it isn’t so overwhelming. Here are some tips from a law professor to help you conquer your fears.
Today’s topic is fear. Don’t be afraid!
Fear is normal. Without fear, we wouldn’t be on our guard as we jaywalk across a busy street (uh, hypothetically). Without it, adrenaline wouldn’t kick in when we’re subject to physical threat. Fear is normal, so long as it doesn’t overwhelm us.
Some people actually have a positive response to fear. We can call these people, in the best instance, thrill-seekers. They love extreme rock climbing, sky diving, or parking in the dean’s parking space. They study for finals at the last minute and do great because the dopamine kick makes them happy. They love that feeling, and do well because instinctively they know they are usually perfectly safe despite their constant protests to the contrary about how they are “going to fail.”
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On the negative side, they can become addicted to drama, seeking it from negative means, such as gossip, negativity, whining, bullying, or being hot-headed. These people get their jollies bringing others down to make themselves feel better. They never, ever feel better. I call these people drama llamas, although they are sometimes called “energy vampires.” If you’re one of those, get some professional help. Seriously. Your fear is of yourself and your insecurity, and you are being toxic and exporting your fear onto others.
The rest of us experience fear as the result of some oncoming event, such as a final exam, the bar exam, a tenure vote, or a meeting with a long-winded colleague. These can all be very scary things. The scary events create anticipation in our minds. We start to worry. We start to go to the worst-case scenario. I am going to fail the final. I’m going to fail the bar exam. I’m not going to get tenure. My colleague will talk forever. My readers won’t like this column. The fear overwhelms, paralyzes, and thus accentuates itself.
The Dalai Lama says this about fear: “If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”
This is easier said than done. But what the Dalai Lama is saying is that fear is wasted emotion. It doesn’t help you accomplish your goals. It debilitates you. It stops you from being the best you can be. And along with anger and aggression, it leads to the Dark Side of the Force, according to Yoda.
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Nonetheless, for those of you who live with debilitating (or even severely annoying) fear, there are some things you can do to not let it get the best of you:
- Keep a journal of your fears. I did this for a year. It was amazing to me that what I feared big time a year ago seems so insignificant and trivial now. That faculty member didn’t talk for hours after all! This only works for personal fears and not societal fears, I discovered. Climate change is still on my list.
- Be grateful. It sounds ridiculous at first, but there is empirical evidence that suggests that writing down what you’re thankful for improves your mood, and also reduces fear and anxiety. I don’t mean snarkily grateful. Don’t write, “I’m grateful that today my prof wasn’t as big a jerk as he usually is.” That’s not gratitude. More like: “I’m grateful that I got to start to learn the hearsay exceptions.” I know, it still needs work, but you get the gist. It has to be heartfelt.
- One of the things that can be a spiraling effect when you’re fearful is shortness of breath, tightened muscles, and other physical effects. You might feel like you’re dying. Even taking a moment to do breathing techniques will help you.
- Okay, breathe. I don’t mean take up learning differential equations if you haven’t already done so. I mean do simple math problems. It will halt the emotional components as you concentrate on the problem at hand. I know that law students reading this might be prone to send me hate mail for this suggestion, but trust me: It works.
- In the long run, you might try therapy. Typically, fears we have today are triggered from past fears. Things we have not dealt with in the past are like weeds. They grow, and they create more weeds. Even if you conquer the bar exam (you pulled that weed of fear), the root cause of the fear is still there. It will manifest somewhere else. The only way to manage paralyzing fear is by pulling the big weed from your past and dealing with it. (NOTE: If you live in a state where marijuana is legal, I’m not talking about that type of weed).
Finally, remember that you are courageous. Make that your mantra. As Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Fear doesn’t go away, but it can be managed so it isn’t so overwhelming.
Go forth. Be courageous.
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LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter (@lawprofblawg). Email him at [email protected].
