The Road Not Taken: Do Me A Favor -- Brag About Yourself (Part 2)

Last week, we talked about the value of self promotion and overcoming the mental obstacles to becoming a confident self-promoter. This week, we talk about how to engage in tasteful self-promotion.

1. Make It Honest

The obvious statement: don’t lie. Don’t take credit for work you didn’t do. Don’t make claims of expertise you don’t actually have. I think the idea that you have to lie about yourself is one of the reasons people find self-promotion so distasteful. We feel we have to lie, or at least, be ethically ambiguous in presenting ourselves. That isn’t true. You are good enough without puffery.

However, just because you shouldn’t lie about yourself doesn’t mean you are excused from the work of self-promotion. Lots of people use the misguided belief that one has to lie about oneself as a reason to avoid self-promotion. You get to feel smug and superior because you won’t stoop to used-car-salesperson tactics and you get out of doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Double win!

Not so much. Taking the time to sit down and assess what you have done, what you are doing, and how you contribute takes time and effort. Figuring out how those skills and experiences are valuable to others takes even more time and effort. Spend the time on yourself to figure out these things.

At the other end of the honesty spectrum is diminishing your work and accomplishments. Don’t be afraid to speak up about what you’ve done and take credit for your contributions. Again, this takes effort. You have to examine the projects you’ve worked on, identify your key skills, perhaps even engage the hope you have for the future, and articulate what you want to do. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of what you have done. Why should anyone be impressed by you if you aren’t proud of yourself?

2. Make It Regular

You don’t feel comfortable jumping in and talking about all the great things you’ve done. That’s fair. Talking about yourself is a skill that takes practice (too much and you are a self-absorbed jerk; too little and you haven’t accomplished what you set out to do). There are some ways to work on the skill in a safer environment.

One way to self-promote with a safety net is to incorporate it into your regular business communications. Lots of organizations have standing meetings, or updates. Instead of saying: “Nothing new this week,” work on finding something to mention. Let your colleagues know what you are working on. Let them know what you have accomplished.

In my organization, we have forced self-promotion. We literally have to tell our boss (and each other) what we accomplished in the past week. My boss finds out what we’ve done, we know what our colleagues are doing, and cheer each other on. This has trained us to find the “wins” that may have otherwise been ignored.

If you make self-promotion a part of your regular reporting communications, it isn’t bragging, it is informing, and it is good practice for the impromptu self-promotion that tends to be more terrifying.

3. Don’t Make It About You

I know, it is right there in the word: “self”-promotion. If you don’t make the promotion about yourself, what good is it doing you?

In the right way and to the right audience: lots. If you manage a team, or managed a project, if you speak kindly of those who support you or participated in completing the project, you are self-promoting. If your audience is a smart leader, she will receive the message about your leadership skills. Not only are you successful in executing goals, you are a successful leader who puts his team before himself. In fact, speaking kindly of your team could be better self-promotion than speaking well of yourself. If you take credit for the project and don’t mention those who supported the effort, you could come off as a selfish leader who does not grasp the elements of effective leadership.

What if you don’t have a team and you work in isolation? That’s okay, you can still find a way to self-promote without making it about yourself. Other people have goals. They have desires. They have needs. Some of those goals, desires, and needs may be in common with those of your audience. Find those common interests. Have you done anything that helps further the interests of your audience? If so, tell your audience. It is in their interest to know you can help them or have helped them. You aren’t self-promoting, you are helping someone else.

And that’s really the crux of finding comfort in self-promotion: you aren’t doing it solely to benefit yourself. That’s a great byproduct, but ultimately, your self-promotion serves to help others. Nobody is going to know how wonderful you are unless you tell them. Nobody will know how you can help them unless you tell them. Nobody will know what a great member of the team you are unless you tell them. By telling others about your work, your accomplishments, and goals you have set, you are doing them a favor. Your contributions can serve as a foundation for greater goals, but not if nobody else knows about them.

You help others by letting them know what you are doing and what you can do. Reframe the act of self-promotion from an act of arrogance and hubris to one of servitude and humility. By serving others, you will also serve yourself.