I met two second-year law students from Rutgers last week. They were worried that becoming lawyers would be all drudgery — hard work, long hours, no time for any of their personal interests, no time for family, no time for fun.
We didn’t meet each other at a law conference or CLE, we bumped into each other at the top of Mount Minsi, a peak on the Appalachian Trail just above the Delaware Water Gap.
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It was pure coincidence that we spoke, but when they learned I was a practicing lawyer, they seemed relieved to see I had time to take a hike in the hills. (It was a weekday.) I told them that practicing law can not only be fun, at least in part, but that if you salvage time for yourself to do the things you love outside of work, your life can be inspired.
The key is balance; a balance sometimes tricky to find, but well worth the effort.
Coincidentally, the day I bumped into the two Rutgers Law students, the New York Post ran a feature titled, “These are not your ordinary criminal lawyers.” They chose three criminal defense attorneys with interesting sidelines. (I was among them.) Although the three of us do a lot of high-stress trial work and represent some of the most needy clients imaginable, each of us finds time to invest in other interests and passions. Liam Malanaphy is a performing magician, I teach and perform flamenco dance, and Eliza Orlins (while in law school) was a two-time competitor on the reality show “Survivor.”
I know other lawyers who not only are great attorneys, but play jazz piano, do stand-up comedy, write novels, build houses for Habitat for Humanity, sing opera, own houseboats in the South of France, etc. And these are just among the handful who I happen to know. Imagine how many others are out there doing fun things, developing their passions, and also practicing law full time.
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There’s no better way to keep fresh at your job than by keeping fresh at whatever you’re doing outside of it.
For me, I dance. Having that on-stage experience, especially with flamenco, which requires a lot of improvisation, helped me gain the chops I needed to speak more confidently to jurors, cross-examine witnesses, and stand up to judges. Any type of performance activity really, whether acting, singing, or tap dancing, will hone your skills to be a better litigator in addition to giving you an outlet to express yourself in a way far different than the job that anchors you eight hours a day.
So, here’s Tip 1: Just because you’re a lawyer, don’t give up your interests, hobbies, or passions. Treasure them.
Tip 2: Know when enough is enough and leave whatever’s undone for another day.
Finding time for yourself is tough and as you grow older and maybe have kids or advance to positions of greater responsibility, it only gets tougher.
So work focused and work smart. When you’re at work, only focus on work. Leave all the social media (unless that’s part of your job) and chit chat for after-hours. That way, when you leave work for the night, you leave with the security that you did what you could during those hours, and deserve whatever time is left to invest in yourself.
Tip 3: Even if you spend less time on your hobby/passion/other thing than most people who do that thing full time, don’t get discouraged. Keep plugging away.
As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in Outliers and Macklemore sang in the song, “10,000 hours,” that’s the amount of practice you need to master a skill. Nobody gets good quickly, but you’ve got a whole lifetime to get better at whatever thing it is you love to do. So don’t put yourself down just because you can’t do it as well as somebody else, keep working on it.
A long time ago, I came to the conclusion that I’ll never be the best dancer, the best piano player, or the best trial lawyer in the world (or even in New York, or even in my building). But then I realized, nobody really is the best. It’s all a matter context and perspective. That realization made tackling an interest in my non-work time a lot less stressful. I figured the destination is only one part of the journey, as long as I was enjoying getting there.
So to those two students from Rutgers (if you’re reading this column), and to all of you getting ready for the bar and entering the working world of law — keep doing what you love even as you tackle those first full-time jobs. Whether it’s sports, music, art, or travel, the emotional payoff in keeping a creative poker in the fire is big.
It will make you a better lawyer and a happier person.
These are not your ordinary criminal lawyers [New York Post]
Toni Messina has been practicing criminal defense law since 1990, although during law school she spent one summer as an intern in a large Boston law firm and realized quickly it wasn’t for her. Prior to attending law school, she worked as a journalist from Rome, Italy, reporting stories of international interest for CBS News and NPR. She keeps sane by balancing her law practice with a family of three children, playing in a BossaNova band, and dancing flamenco. She can be reached at [email protected] or tonimessinalaw.com.