The Road Not Taken: Can We Really Have It All?

Law does not have a reputation of being the sort of industry that inspires and motivates its participants, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Overworked and stressed!Gentlemen, non-parents, and those who think the phrase “having it all” doesn’t apply to them, it’s okay — you can read this column. This isn’t about work-life balance and the difficulty of juggling kids and work. It’s about work balance, and it applies to everyone.

In its worst light, “having it all” is interpreted as capturing the demand of privileged professional women who want to have the prestige of a professional career while enjoying the benefits of being a stay-at-home parent. That’s “having it all” in a work-life balance context. What I’m talking about is “having it all” as it relates to a workplace.

Think about it, what kind of place would it be, this workplace where you could “have it all”? You would be paid what you felt you were worth, you and your colleagues would be engaged and invested in the organization, you’d receive the guidance you need to succeed, but with enough distance to avoid oppressive micromanagement. You could be yourself and feel like your quirks, charms, and personal characteristics were appreciated by your colleagues instead of differences being seen as weaknesses. You would feel secure in your job and know the parameters for success and failure.  

Of course, that’s my list. Your list might be different, but there will probably be some overlap. In that overlap is where we — you and me — can bring everyone closer to “having it all” at work. Think about your list. How would having a workplace that “had it all” make you feel? You’d probably feel wonderful, inspired to be productive, creative, supportive of your colleagues, and eager to pursue greater challenges.

Why talk about this mythical workplace where we can have it all? Like your sister-in-law’s Facebook posts, it isn’t real and only upsets you if you think about it too much. Unlike the narrative of domestic tranquility curated by your sister-in-law, an ideal workplace isn’t an exercise in speculative fiction. It can actually exist. Sort of.

As lawyers, we are not trained as managers and leaders. We have to learn on the job while we are doing another job — a job that is difficult and stressful on its own. Add to that, lawyers are, as a gross generalization, obnoxious jerks. I mean that in the kindest way. We are aggressive, confrontational, persistent, self-righteous, and ambitious. Often, legal work can be packaged in individualized compartments, which makes it easy for lawyers to partition themselves off and avoid the hard work of creating, managing, and leading a team.  

Because it is so easy to treat lawyers as replaceable cogs in a wheel (when one is removed, you can plug in an alternate), and lawyers like things done “my way,” and we tend to have personalities that don’t lend themselves toward productive team dynamics, and we aren’t trained to work well with others or to lead others, legal workplaces tend to be difficult. Yes, the work is tough too, but no job is easy, particularly jobs where there are real responsibilities. When you add workplace stress to the actual stress of work, no wonder lawyers have such high job dissatisfaction rates.

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Work is part of what defines us and our contribution to society. Work can be exciting, invigorating, and challenging, or it can be frustrating, draining, demotivating, and demoralizing. Law does not have a reputation of being the sort of industry that inspires and motivates its participants, but it doesn’t have to be this way. If we want to spend the next several decades in this industry, don’t we owe it to ourselves to move the legal industry closer to one where we can “have it all,” at least at work?  


Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly at [email protected].

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