Law Schools

Here Comes Courtroom Fun Barbie!

The Law & Barbie would make an excellent class.

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I have a Barbie doll in my office. It is still in the box, and is a sports team Barbie given to me by a coworker whose team was in a battle with mine. I know what he was implying. But I kept the box, the Barbie, and my pride as I proudly displayed the team Barbie on my bookcase.

I always knew Barbie had a bit of a bad reputation. She was giving girls poor body images. She was anti-feminist. She was a white middle class stereotype. She was not reflective of real girls. And, damn it, what was her obsession with Ken? I never saw it.

Which brings me to law & Barbie, which I think would make an excellent class. I’ve been reading Professor Orly Lobel’s book You Don’t Own Me: How Mattel v. MGA Entertainment Exposed Barbie’s Dark Side. It is the sordid ten-year tale of two rivals in the throes of litigation, Mattel (Barbie) and MGA Entertainment (maker of the Bratz doll). It’s A Civil Action, but set in Toys R Us.

Bratz, as Professor Lobel lays out with the crafting of someone telling a good murder mystery, is the creation of Carter Bryant, former employee at Mattel. The development of an anti-Barbie, based upon Carter’s epiphany that Barbie truly did not mirror real girls, starts a war in the courts that lasts a decade.

The tale is a gripping one, which Professor Lobel puts into perspective by giving full-fledged life to the people behind the story. And to me, it reads as a sad one. I won’t give spoilers here, but it seems to me in the book that the time-honored story of a person with a great idea, who then becomes used and abused by the business to which he brought the idea, all the while fleeing another abusive company. It’s the story of a man who then takes credit for the work of another, and the disenfranchisement of the creator.

It’s not just the origin story of Bratz, but that of Barbie, too. Professor Lobel lays out the history (and oh what a seedy history it is!) of Barbie. And yet again, the creator becomes an issue of contention. Who created Barbie? A battle ensues. And one is left wondering about the innovator’s alienation from that which he created.

Professor Lobel sets this all up brilliantly and meticulously. It reads with the ease of watching a pre-game show, all the history, the players, and the richness that is the precursor of the prize fights about to come. Actually, it feels insulting to call it a pre-game show, because whereas I just turn those off I kept reading Professor Lobel’s book.

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Having set up the battle, Professor Lobel launches into a fascinating discussion of the parody, and in particular Barbie parody. In this can’t put down chapter, you see the….er, interesting side of Barbie fetish. And Star Wars fan fiction. Oh my! Most importantly, the chapter is readable for a lay person with no knowledge of parody law.

The battle, or trial as we like to call it in law, is well-described and interesting reading. Some aspects of it would make for a good movie. I can’t describe to you how much you really end up hating toy companies after reading all of this. It is like you learn in your childhood that Santa’s cute little elves make the toys, when in reality they are made by Satan’s spawn. I might be overly dramatic here, but what on earth is wrong with these toy companies? Oh, that’s right. Money.

Having set up the battle, Professor Lobel introduces the referee, Judge Kozinski. Kozinski is himself a character, and I mean that in a respectful and loving way. He is engaging and thoughtful, and I wish I could say he’s the hero of the story. There are no heroes here though. Only appeals and remands. I knew the history of the case going into the book, but having read Professor Lobel’s account gives me far greater understanding of the various cuts and blocks. It’s the difference between going to Wikipedia and reading about the battle of Agincourt and watching the movie Henry V act it out.

The companies battle it out. But Professor Lobel’s prose makes it clear that people are the victims. Employees. Consumers. As Professor Lobel points out, “Law and markets, as they currently stand, offer business a dual perspective: either sell better products or demolish the competition with a sledge hammer.” This is my favorite line in the book. I might add that the bigger the competitor or monopolist on the block, the harder they hit with the sledge hammer. The result is that sometimes laws can be used to crush competition. And the antitrust laws designed to prevent companies from crushing competitors have themselves been crushed. Even the innovators, who Professor Lobel seems to admire (like Elon Musk) can transform into the person wielding the sledge hammer. Just ask Bill Gates.

Buy this book to watch as the sledge hammers are wielded.

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LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here.  He is way funnier on social media, he claims.  Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

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