Predicting The Next Trend: Support Animals For Lawyers

I don’t know if lawyers care about Valentine’s Day or not. I wonder whether this “holiday” truly serves a purpose, but is rather just another opportunity for retailers of all kinds to cash in on our consumer appetites. Since our economy runs on consumer spending, the answer must be obvious.

This is a “holiday” of emotional support in one way or another. Recently, I have been fascinated by recent stories of various kinds of emotional support animals that have been denied boarding on airplanes. In one case, it was a very large peacock (and no, I am not making this up) and in another case, it was a very small hamster (again, I am not making this up).

Here are my questions: given the stressful nature of lawyering (and I’m not talking about other professions/jobs that may be equally if not more stressful), should lawyers have emotional support animals and in what circumstances should they be permitted? As the bar exam says, “Discuss.”

Websites such as this one are devoted to discussions of emotional support animals. Putting aside issues of the Americans with Disabilities Act and other statutes, what do you think a court would say if you walk into a courtroom for a dispositive motion (stress very high), you are accompanied by a very large peacock, and you announce your appearance with the peacock by your side? Leaving aside whether the peacock would even make it through security, unlikely given various issues in courtroom access across the country over the last decade, what do you think the court’s reaction would be? Even before the court takes the bench, I can’t imagine that either the courtroom clerk or bailiff or both would take kindly to an emotional support peacock. Does the peacock get to go into chambers with his lawyer?

The peacock might be better dressed than the lawyer — did you know that it’s the male peacocks that have the beautiful plumage, why am I not surprised?Would a female peacock be more likely to be allowed, given her more subdued coloration, especially given the endless discussions of what women lawyers should or should not wear in court? What about the fact that women lawyers are not given the same opportunities in the courtroom as male lawyers? How would the quieter plumage of female peacocks affect the female presence in the courtroom?

Of course, the peacock standing at counsel table might prompt a riff of puns inappropriate in the courtroom, but very funny outside it. For example, opposing counsel might take one look at the peacock and comment that “birds of a feather flock together,” while shooting down your argument, saying “it’s for the birds.” You can readily think of others. So can I, but I will spare you.

Then there’s the hamster, that tiny little creature that the passenger on the Spirit Airline flight ended up flushing down the toilet. PETA called the incident “heartbreaking,” (apropos of Valentine’s Day).

Bringing a hamster into a courtroom as an “emotional support” animal could be interesting, to say the least. Raise your hand if you ever had a hamster as a kid or if your kid has had a hamster. So, when it died (as all creatures do), did you flush it or bury it in a shoebox, complete with memorial service to send it on its way?

I can understand far more easily a hamster than a peacock as an emotional support animal. We lawyers often feel like hamsters, caged and running endlessly on that stupid wheel, wondering when, if ever, we’ll be able to get off it. However, since a hamster is a rodent, I can just hear the snickering commentary from the courtroom staff, the court, and opposing counsel when the hamster’s cage is set down on counsel table, if that would even be allowed.

Once again, opposing counsel could have some glorious opportunities to comment on the presence of the emotional support animal. Comments such as “opposing counsel is just spinning her wheel once again in a ridiculous attempt to get the court to buy this hamster-fisted argument.” Counsel could cut you down to hamster size. Once again, you get the drift.

Perhaps a criminal defense lawyer wants to take his emotional support animal with him into the lockup to speak with a client. What do you think would happen?

Emotional support animals such as dogs and cats are much more common, but I wonder if they would be subjects to motions in limine to exclude them from the courtroom, based on, among other things, the “cuteness” factor. Sometimes, that dog or cat will just be so adorable that it’s impossible to discount the potential prejudicial effect on the judge and/or jury. (You can tell I’m a pet parent, right? However, I have neither peacock nor hamster. )

Within the past two years, the National Center on State Courts has weighed in on this topic. California, of course, has its own dos and don’ts. 

I don’t know whether any state court has encountered the peacock and/or the hamster situation. Right now, it seems to be more of a flying problem than a courtroom concern. However, one never knows.

I’m all for emotional support; we lawyers need it wherever we can find it, but I doubt that bringing a peacock or a hamster to a courtroom will do much to help win the client’s case. It might reassure the lawyer, but I can’t imagine that a client would look at that approvingly. After all, it is the client’s case, not ours, and our “emotional support” issues are not the client’s concern.

So, let’s give each other some emotional support this Valentine’s Day, rather than looking to a peacock or hamster. And please don’t tell me that you were the only one in your grade school who never received any valentines from classmates. If so, that was your first lesson in rejection, and as a lawyer, it certainly hasn’t been your last.

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Jill Switzer has been an active member of the State Bar of California for 40 years. She remembers practicing law in a kinder, gentler time. She’s had a diverse legal career, including stints as a deputy district attorney, a solo practice, and several senior in-house gigs. She now mediates full-time, which gives her the opportunity to see dinosaurs, millennials, and those in-between interact — it’s not always civil. You can reach her by email at [email protected].