Lawyer Files Brief To Complain That We Made Fun Of His Dumb Hobbit Brief

The court battle to replace the entire federal government is not going great.

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There are 10 docket entries in the matter of Latinos for Trump et al. v. Pete Sessions et al. and to date the defendants haven’t submitted anything. Paul Davis, who was fired from his assistant general counsel gig after participating in the Capitol riot, has made eight filings (the other two are court-generated) since the matter was brought on January 18. This morning’s heartbreaking work of staggering genius appears to be a lengthy complaint that everyone’s making fun of his last brief for proposing that a federal court unilaterally dismiss the entire federal government and replace it with a system of government based on the Lord of the Rings.

5. Salon.com and other media outlets, apparently due solely to Counsel
making a literary analogy (something not remotely uncommon to legal writing) have characterized this lawsuit as a mere fantasy. And perhaps they are right in a sense.

It’s more than “a” sense.

Davis cites Salon.com by name but doesn’t single out Above the Law, even though Salon merely mentions the Gondor reference as an aside, while our comprehensive analysis demonstrated the grave factual errors in the case’s reliance on the Stewards of the House of Húrin.

The problem for Davis is that he wasn’t “making a literary analogy,” he asked a court to use that fantasy tale to craft a new form of government. He also complains that some media outlets characterize the case as seeking to install Trump as president, which it pointedly does not. It seeks to create “Stewards” who will run the government until a new election can be held that can suppress voter participation to an extent that Donald Trump could be president. Totally different!

Unfortunately for Davis, “strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government” either.

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Davis also frets that he’s under tremendous duress in churning out all of these not-at-all-frivolous filings:

Further complicating this process is Counsel’s intense amount of sleep-deprivation, having to do the work of several attorneys, mostly alone, with a skeleton staff while being plagued with threats to his safety and an apparent act of vandalism at his home where someone stuffed bundles of wood and garbage into the drain sewer at his home causing a massive sewage backup. Indeed, it is now 5:21 A.M. and counsel has not slept in an attempt to get more reasonable relief in front of the Court prior to the court opening at 9:00 A.M

In an attempt to rehabilitate his expert — who, reminder, the defendants have yet to say anything about — Davis complains that Salon made fun of the guy’s brain surgery in an effort to discredit him. That’s admittedly not cool. On the other hand, pointing out that the guy is already recognized on the Texas vexatious litigants page as trafficking in nonsense legal theories is entirely fair and something Davis doesn’t address.

WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs respectfully request that the Court ignore the vicious media attacks against Plaintiffs’ lawsuit and injunctive relief requested, grant their Motion, enter either the attached Alternative Order, the Amended Temporary Restraining, or fashion a reasonable remedy somewhere in the middle to prevent the immediate and irreparable harm Plaintiffs will suffer and grant Plaintiffs all other and further relief to which they may be justly entitled.

Yes, ignore the vicious media attacks pointing out that a story about elves and orcs might be the least fictional part of the case.

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The defendants still have several days to respond. How many more briefs can Davis write before then? Will someone clear out his sewer? Would it be better to replace the government with a model based on promoting the Kwisatz Haderach? There are so many questions that remain to be answered!

[pdfjs-viewer url=”https://abovethelaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Davis-motion.pdf”]

Earlier: Hobbit Law Cited In Wacky Trump-Loving Lawsuit To Overturn Election
After Being Fired Over Capitol Insurrection, Lawyer Finds Legal Work Suing… Pretty Much Every Politician And Mark Zuckerberg
Associate General Counsel Was Part Of Yesterday’s Attempted Coup. He’s No Longer Associate General Counsel.

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

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