Biglaw

I Owe My Soul To The Law Firm Store...

You write 16 tender offers, and whaddya get?

By  
on

what have i doneWe’ve said it multiple times now: don’t offer any kind of seasonal “gift” until you’ve ponied up bonuses. Not only is it just tacky, it’s a slap in the face to associates who are keeping one eye glued to their inbox awaiting the inevitable bonus match. Whatever the “gift” may be, it’s not going to top the bonuses that associates rely upon to get out of law school debt.

Yet Venable seems to have missed this memo like associates are still missing their bonus memo. Rather than announce the DPW match, the firm sent around a $75 gift credit TO THEIR OWN STORE!

Venable

At least the parties are virtual this year… avoiding a lesson Latham learned the hard way.

You might be thinking: maybe the Venable store is like the Davis Polk pandemic bonus gift store — the one where the firm offered associates TVs and golf outings and high-end workout equipment. NOPE! It’s just a glorified Zazzle site with the “Venable” brand on trinkets. A glorified Zazzle site associates can shop with a whole SEVENTY-FIVE SMACKAROOS! Let the good times roll.

Screen Shot 2021-12-10 at 12.24.38 PM

Gloves, an umbrella, AND a gametime chair? Sign me up!

Sponsored

Again, there’s nothing wrong with firm-branded gifts. I still use bags and umbrellas I got as a practicing attorney. But building a company store and paying lawyers $75 in scrip before announcing bonuses is just a chef’s kiss of an unforced error.

Earlier: Everyone Go Back To The Office, But Here’s A Firm-Branded Toy For Your Trouble!
Top 5 Firm Matches Bonus Scale

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

Sponsored

Topics

,