Courts

President Biden’s Supreme Court Pick Is So Good People Are Lapsing Back Into Birtherism

Before we hand her the wheel to the judiciary, what score did she get on her driver's license exam? The American public deserves to know.

By  
on

bar exam scantron multiple choiceFebruary was a long wait, but I’m glad Biden got around to finally nominating a Supreme Court justice. It’s been six whole days since she was announced; that’s almost a whole week! In that time, nobody dug up some picture where she took a selfie with Epstein or some other thing that would make people question her neutrality on the Court. Looks like after a quick Ilya Shapiro mute on Twitter, I can finally relax a little  — they might actually leave Judge Jackson alone.

As a writer and a lawyer, I like to consider myself a wordsmith. Words are the tools of our trade — it’s no surprise they matter so much in a field where a comma splice or editing mistake can be the turning point in multimillion-dollar litigation or freeing a wrongly convicted person. So when I say this, I want you to know that I culled my mind for only the most nuanced and clear way to express the sentiments that I feel need sentimenting.

This is so, so very fucking stupid.

“It would seem like Americans in a democracy have a right to know that and much more before giving her a lifetime appointment, but we didn’t hear that.” Really dude? What’s next? “Before we hand her the wheel to the judiciary, what score did she get on her driver’s license exam?”

As we all know, there are no constitutional requirements to be a Supreme Court justice. Which is in part why Tucker’s “Duh, we have a right to know” claims strike with such stupidity — it’s hard to have a right to something there is no textual basis in, after all. That said, the fact that they’re resorting to the judicial version of birtherism in light of her nomination is a sign of how qualified and spotless her record must be if this is the best the people who cast doubt on an innocent man murdered by a trespassing cop could come up with.

Sponsored

We are in the year 2022. Can White Americans stop cloaking their racism in liberty discourse? This “the American public deserves to know” bullshit is just goal post shifting — a tired tactic that allows them to make good faith-appearing arguments that are time sucks for people on the left and lazy whataboutism scripts for the right. Because, and I will remind folks of this whenever I can, she is already more qualified for the position that at least four of the current sitting justices.

The goofiness of this is readily apparent to anyone who pays attention. I made a tongue-in-cheek argument that the only person who Biden could nominate for Breyer’s seat was Betty Boop as a joke, but Jesus Christ, I would have been okay with not being as on the nose. The next time you hear FedSoc nonsense about the censure of thought and cancel culture from the entitled snowflakes on the left, I want you to remember this. Right-wing gate-keeping is unparalleled in its audacity.

And for posterity’s sake, I hope the soon-to-be Supreme Court Justice Jackson’s LSAT score was dismal. The kind where you get your score  and ask yourself if you should even be in the profession. That she weathered the storm and got into Harvard Law, surrounded by people whose entry test scores towered over hers. And that she overcame adversity like a Black lady-David, sling-shotting past her peers to make it on Harvard Law review and graduate with honors despite her initial setback. But this isn’t the movies and that probably didn’t happen. Not the law review and graduating with honors stuff. That definitely did. I just mean she probably got a 178 or some shit before she did all that. Richard said it best:

Sponsored

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.

Topics

, , , ,