Courts

Musk Will Pay Your Legal Fees If You Liked Tweets Joking About Cops Killing A Man Over Cigarettes

Musk champions the little guy's right to make fun of victims of civil rights violations.

on August 07, 2023 4:53 pm
Billionaire Elon Musk at Paris Viva Tech Fair

Photographer: Nathan Laine/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Elon Musk has a punchable face. This is factual; Social Network inspiration Mark Zuckerberg will presumably be the one doing the punching if Musk’s mommy doesn’t step in to stop the fight. Again. Musk is clever when it comes to being held accountable to his words — he may be the one to call it off much to Mark’s chagrin. Fret not, Musk has announced an alternative to trial by combat: trial by trial. Forever a representative of the downtrodden, King Twit took to his edgy rebranded site X to pledge money to the people that need it most: bigots.

Strangely enough, this out of the blue announcement happened to come shortly after a NASCAR driver was treated to the ejecto-seat after liking a meme making fun of a man who was killed in broad daylight by a knee to the neck.

As you would expect, all manner of deplorables are coming forth with their sob stories about how they need to be vindicated.

https://twitter.com/DriverESPN/status/1688394338944839680?s=20

The thread is full of these “woe is me” types who have been wronged by their employers after doing small actions like advocating for genocide:

It seems like each day Elon finds new reasons to justify the use of this clip:

Interestingly enough, jury is out on if his censorship scholarship will apply to adverse parties. You don’t have to go all that far back to find times where Elon was the employer that fired employees over their tweets:

The fine print of his generosity is likely that he will only be covering the legal fees of parties negatively impacted by the “Woke Mind Virus”:

https://twitter.com/VioletaCri85386/status/1688501120572829696?s=20

So, if you’re an anti-vaxxer, racist or got canned calling for the genocide of gay kids, you know who to call to cover your legal fees:

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s.  He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.