Eyes of the Law, Federal Judges, Hotties, Jed Rakoff, Kimba Wood, Laura Taylor Swain, Music, S.D.N.Y.

The Eyes of the Law: The S.D.N.Y. "Courthouse Follies"

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We’ve solicited funny holiday party stories from you. We haven’t received much thus far.

But from the legendary Southern District of New York, probably the nation’s most distinguished district court bench, we did get this account of its celebrated “Courthouse Follies” (which took place on the evening of Friday, December 15):

Item: The Southern District of New York’s “Courthouse Follies,” tonight.

Showstopping performance: A boisterous musical number by Judge Jed Rakoff (at right), Judge Laura Taylor Swain, Magistrate Judge Ronald Ellis, and Chief Magistrate Judge Lisa Margaret Smith. Sung to the tune of “There Once Was a Man” from Doris Day’s “The Pajama Game,” with additional lyrics and dialogue by Judge Rakoff, the act featured Judge Rakoff in a blond fright wig, Judge Swain in a Groucho mask with cigar, Judge Ellis in an oversized red polka-dot bow tie, and Judge Smith in what I can characterize only as a goofy black hat.

Was that a woman’s blond fright wig? If so, Judge Rakoff can kiss any elevation hopes good-bye. Senator Brownback opposes all judicial nominees who have appeared in drag.

Highlight: A musical shoutout to Underneath Their Robes! The patter leading up to the song was about changes in the courthouse under the new chief judge. One of them was (I’m paraphrasing slightly), “I get all my case info from www.underneaththeirrobes.com.”

Less a joke than a name check, but it suggests that Judge Rakoff is a fan.

Interestingly enough, the new chief judge of the Southern District is none other than Kimba M. Wood — the reigning Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary, per UTR.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, yes, we will be holding a new Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest. Look for it in 2007.

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