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'Always Pass On What You Have Learned': The Reciprocal Value Of Mentoring -- And Tips On Maximizing The Relationship

The input and guidance from a more experienced lawyer or judge can be the key component in becoming a competent legal practitioner.

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There have been great mentors in American cinema — Yoda, Mr. Miyagi, Emilio Estevez’s hockey coach character in The Mighty Ducks. And just like how mentorship can be critical in learning to be a Jedi, a Karate Kid, or a left wing, the input and guidance from a more experienced lawyer or judge can be the key component in becoming a competent legal practitioner.

After 11 years of practicing law, I was both starting to increasingly physically resemble Yoda and also share his desire to help educate others. So this winter, I signed up to participate in the University of Washington School of Law’s mentorship program. I was an unremarkable student there a little over a decade ago, and this seemed like my chance to help current students excel by explaining all the things I did that should be avoided to be successful.

Mentorship is actually a mutually beneficial set-up. Law students get advice and free lunch, and lawyers get to talk about themselves (pretty much our favorite thing to do) and feel self-important by using the firm credit card. In my case, I used my mentoring authority to compel my mentees to take me to Finn MacCool’s, an Irish bar on University Way that is apparently still the law-student hangout, so that I could re-live my glory days and eat pizza. In exchange, I’ve given them tips on how not to take a law-school final exam, and also introduced them to a bunch of my lawyer friends at a happy hour where we basically talked them to death with stories about our own fraught law-school experiences.

Becoming a mentor after years of being a young lawyer eager for guidance from people who seem to know what they are doing has caused me to reflect upon what makes a mentoring relationship work. There are plenty of situations in which a law mentor is assigned through some program or another, and after a couple of interactions, things just fizzle out like an online dating fail. In fact, I met one of my two most influential mentors — a superior court judge, who eventually gave me a summer internship (my first-ever law job!) and loves cats like I do — through an assigned mentor from a formal program. And the other one — my now-law partner, Terry, who was foolish enough to hire me as an associate — just kind of got stuck with me because I wouldn’t stop knocking on his office door with questions.

Based on my experience on both sides of the mentoring relationship, here are my tips on how a mentee can help make a mentorship work:

1. Don’t be afraid to initiate the relationship. I think that just like with a romantic situation, there can still be a fear of rejection in the mentoring context. But the fact is that the best mentoring relationships typically occur naturally in the wild rather than in the formal-program environment. So if you admire someone for their professional accomplishments or think you have something to learn from them, feel free to reach out.

2. Be responsive. You are probably busy, especially if you are in law school. But for a lot of mentors, time is literally money. So if a mentor is going to take the time to reach out to you, get back to them as soon as you can.

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3. Don’t be shy about reaching out. People like to help. It especially makes an evil lawyer like me feel like I took time out of my schedule of wreaking legal havoc on people to make the world, for perhaps just a moment, a bit better. So if you want your résumé reviewed or to meet a lawyer in a field you are interested in, just ask.

4. Be appreciative. A lot of lawyers and judges deal with “difficult personalities” all day who not only are not thankful for our time, but would indeed prefer to have never crossed paths with us in their lifetimes. So it’s nice to hear someone recognize that our time is valuable and that our assistance is appreciated. (In other words, be liberal with the ass kissing.)

5. Be persistent. There’s a good chance that you are one of 1.7 billion people that your mentor has on his to-do list to get back to or help out. Be a squeaky wheel. Indeed, Terry used to get irritated as heck when I’d interrupt his work day to ask for help analyzing a legal issue, but these days he drops everything without complaint because he knows it’s easier to just talk to me when I demand it because I’m not going away otherwise. It’s a win-win for both of us.

6. Be flexible. Do whatever you can to meet with your mentor at the time, date, and location they suggest. They are probably cramming you into a super-tight schedule, and also have forgotten how ridiculously busy and exhausted law students are during the school year.

7. Do not take the opportunity for granted. You can be so wrapped up in your school assignments or activities or competitions that it can be easy to be shortsighted about what can really make you successful in your career.

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Lawyers often get jobs and positions on committees and other good attorney things based on who they know. And you can be pretty darn sure that your mentor is going to have a bigger legal network than you do, unless you are one of those brats with fancy, big-time attorney parents. So reach out and offer to take a lawyer out to lunch, pretend to listen to our advice and war stories, and act surprised when we insist on paying. Just don’t expect to get any lessons on light sabers, the crane technique, or the knucklepuck.

Allison Peryea is a shareholder attorney at Leahy Fjelstad Peryea, a boutique law firm in downtown Seattle that primarily serves community association clients. Her practice focuses on covenant enforcement and dispute resolution. She is a longtime humor writer with a background in journalism and cat ownership. You can reach her by email at [email protected].

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