Crime, Food, Law Schools, Screw-Ups, Violence

BU Law Student Threatens Beatings and Death to (Non-Existent) Lunch Thief

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What should a law student do when somebody steals his lunch? Lunch thieves are notoriously hungry; they have no shame when it comes to satisfying their need for other people’s food. And they are sneaky little people, always ready to take your well-prepared sandwich within minutes (or, you know, hours and hours) after you leave it in a communal refrigerator.

So what can law students do against such reckless hate? At Michigan Law, two years ago, the victim of this dastardly crime took to the student listserve and proceeded to excoriate the anonymous person who stole his lunch.

At Boston University Law School, the victim decided against hiding behind a computer screen. Instead he left a note, a really angry note, promising immediate punishment to the lunch thief — by his hand or the hands of fate…

The website Passive Aggressive Notes has a screenshot of a very strong response from a BU Law student who literally and figuratively lost his lunch. The website says only that the note was posted by “a law student in Boston,” but tipsters tell us this note was posted on the first floor of the BU Law building.

On an overreaction scale of 1 to 10 — with 1 being the way Democrats are reacting to Obama’s tax compromise, and 10 involving tricking your enemy into eating his parents during a chili con carnival — I’d put this overreaction at a solid 8 (or maybe a 9, if you read the note in the voice of a hysterical preacher from the Exorcist movies):

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Three immediate deaths = at least two too many for sandwich theft.

But here’s what makes this note a classic. And no, I’m not talking about all the typographical and/or grammatical errors (glass houses, stones, etc.).

Apparently, it’s this “Frank” guy who hasn’t been reading notices posted around BU Law. When he looks at video tape for the lunch thief, he’s only going to be seeing ghosts. Or janitors. Our tipster reports:

This is really great because at BU, the maintenance staff clears out the refrigerators on Friday afternoons — there are signs on every refrigerator which let students know this.

Buddy, you’re not being victimized by some asshole who steals lunches. You’re the a**hole who is leaving your lunch around too long and fouling up the community refrigerator.

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I will now wait patiently until Frank sends me pictures of himself kicking his own ass.

Death by Sandwich [Passive Aggressive Notes]

Earlier: The Voracious Wolverine

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