Career Center, Career Files, Lawyers

Why Stress Isn’t Necessary

One of the most pernicious myths that lawyers believe about themselves is that they “work best under pressure.”

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Have you ever said or thought any of the following:

  • If I’m not stressed-out about failing, I won’t do a good job.
  • I work best under pressure.
  • If I didn’t have stressful deadlines I’d never get anything done.

If you have, you’re not alone. One of the most pernicious myths that lawyers believe about themselves is that they “work best under pressure.” All my clients sign-up with me because they want to be less stressed, but when it comes down to it, and we start looking at their thoughts, it turns out they subconsciously think stress is serving them – and is actually necessary for them to achieve their goals.

You can see how this creates a problem. You feel stressed. You want to feel less stressed. But if your brain subconsciously believes the stress is necessary, it’s not going to give it up. The good news is that your brain is wrong. Stress actually isn’t necessary, and I’m going to show you why.

Let’s start at the beginning. Stress is a set of physical sensations in the body caused by hormonal and physiological changes, primarily the release of adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream. You don’t need all the science here, but what you need to understand is that the physical sensation of stress is an evolutionary adaptation that was helpful when the main causes of stress were things that wanted to eat you.

But today, it is no longer very helpful, because now the main causes of stress are things like work emails and filing deadlines. I’m not saying that to make light of the experiences you find stressful—quite the opposite in fact. The reason these things feel like matters of life and death is that your brain is responding to them using a system that evolved to handle literal life-and-death situations.

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This doesn’t sound like a good way of running your brain, does it? Because when human beings are stressed, we want comfort. When we’re anxious, we want to distract and avoid, and when we feel shame and guilt, we want to hide. Humans do not have positive responses to negative emotions.

When you’re anxious about something at work, do you tackle it right away and work quickly and efficiently on it? NOPE. You procrastinate, you avoid, you distract, you get on Facebook, you get a snack, you stare at the wall, and then eventually, when the deadline gets close enough to terrify you, you push through the anxiety and get it done.

The anxiety you were having that whole time didn’t serve you. It just delayed your progress and created resistance. Many of my clients are high-achieving, ambitious women. They have always experienced anxiety, insecurity and fear, and they have sought accomplishments to try to quell those feelings. It didn’t work, but now they associate the accomplishments with those feelings.

But correlation isn’t causation. You didn’t achieve what you’ve achieved because you were creating anxiety, insecurity, guilt, and shame for yourself. You achieved what you’ve achieved despite those feelings. You white-knuckled through them for years in order to create whatever success you’ve enjoyed.

And if you’re reading this blog, that probably means hope there’s another way. But you may consciously or subconsciously also fear that without those negative emotions, you won’t keep moving.

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It’s a common fear, but it’s misplaced. Give yourself some credit. Is it likely that someone with your intelligence, personality, and drive is just going to give up on life and live on the couch forever? Nope. You might sit there for a weekend or two to recover from years of stressing yourself out, but eventually your energy will come back. And when you rediscover what it’s like to have intrinsic motivation, you will see that you don’t need anxiety to achieve.

That’s a big jump, I know. So just start with these questions:

What would my life be like if I weren’t driven by anxiety, fear, insecurity, shame, or guilt?

What emotions would I want to have instead?

What would I create in my life with those emotions driving my actions?

You get to decide how to think, feel, and act in your life. If you want to create something ambitious and amazing, you can do that.

What I’m here to tell you is that you don’t have to use negative feelings as the fuel to do it. In fact, if that’s your approach, you’re much less likely to achieve what you want.

And you’re 100% less likely to enjoy the process or the result.

Kara Loewentheil, J.D., C.M.C., is a former litigator and academic who now runs a boutique life coaching practice, with a focus on high-achieving women who struggle with anxiety and insecurity. As a Certified Master Coach, Kara is intimately acquainted with the unique challenges high-achieving women face in their professional careers and personal lives. Kara teaches her clients cognitive-based techniques for dealing with stress, anxiety, and lawyer brain so that they can create confidence to build the lives and careers they want. She is also the host of the only podcast that teaches lawyers and other accomplished women how to actually rewire their brains so that they can feel confident and get what they want in life, The UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast, available on iTunes or wherever else you get your podcasts. To download a free guide to creating more confidence and believing in your own abilities, go to www.unfckyourbrain.com/guide.

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