Laurence Tribe

Headhunters / Recruiters

Non-Sequiturs: 10.06.14

* New Supreme Court term kicks off with some bizarre argumentation. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Professor Tribe doesn’t think Obama’s getting another justice confirmed. Vegas is setting the over/under off his remarks. [Coverage Opinions] * More on The Law Hawk (insert screeching eagle sound effect). [Legal Cheek] * Picking the right legal recruiter is important. It’s like having an agent, which is awesome because it makes you feel like Peyton Manning for a bit. [Major, Lindsay & Africa] * What. The. Hell? You can survive being sucked into a jet engine? Without wearing Iron Man Mark V armor. [Lowering the Bar] * You know what’s lame? Civil forfeiture. John Oliver rants after the jump… [Last Week Tonight]

By Joe Patrice
ACLU

Non-Sequiturs: 08.15.14

* Suit filed questioning the parentage of Blue Ivy Carter. Plaintiff claims to be the real… mother? Hm. You’d think that would be pretty easy for everyone to remember. [International Business Times] * The Washington D.C.-area NFL team has filed suit to get its trademark back. They think the USPTO are Indian Givers. [DCist] * The ACLU is asking courts to define “freedom of the press” in the wake of Ferguson. I understand their impulse, I just don’t think they’re gonna like the answer. [Fox2Now] * A 71-year-old lawyer allegedly called two escorts over to his house and they asked for more money. Even for rich lawyers it’s the principle of the thing. [South Florida Lawyers] * Sad to see Professor Larry Tribe join the “let’s blame the teachers instead of funding public schools” parade. But now that he’s become a high-profile supporter of ending tenure for those teaching the young, perhaps he’ll renounce his own tenure. Or at least fight to revoke it from all his colleagues. [National Law Journal] * A Colombian lawyer is suing FIFA for $1.3 billion over bad officiating. Of all the things FIFA deserves to get sued over, this isn’t making the list. [Washington Post] * Congratulations to Rob Manfred, a Harvard Law grad formerly of Morgan Lewis, on his promotion to MLB Commissioner. He will continue the proud tradition of keeping us bored all summer long while we wait for football to come back. [New York Times] * New lawsuit says Google kept records of plans to infringe intellectual property… on Post-Its. Unwise. Office supplies are for back-to-school shopping, not writing down wrongful acts. [Valleywag] * If you’re a current 3L or a law grad about to come off a clerkship, NOAA has a job opportunity for you. Imagine how exciting it will be when the next Sharknado happens! [USAJobs via NOAA]

By Joe Patrice
Barack Obama

Non-Sequiturs: 07.09.14

* Seattle City Attorney Pete Holmes took advantage of Washington state law and purchased himself some legal pot yesterday, making him the highest-profile lawyer in the country. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] * DC Comics blocked plans to build a memorial to a murdered 5-year-old Superman fan dressed in costume. Realizing that this was awful and stupid, they’ve reversed themselves. [Gawker] * New York Justice Roger Barto said he was attacked and beaten with a toilet seat. The police disagree. [WHAM] * Laurence Tribe recounting his experiences with a young Barack Obama. [Fiscal Times] * Remember when Justice Scalia screwed up that decision and quietly edited it hoping we wouldn’t notice? Well the days of the secret editing of SCOTUS opinions are over. [CREW] * The continuing coverage of the Donald Sterling trial: Sterling takes the stand. [mitchell epner] * We talk a lot about work-life balance among lawyers, but we don’t think much about the work-life balance among law professors. [TaxProf Blog] * If you wanted to understand the UK legal market, this infographic is basically “choose your own adventure” for a legal career across the pond. [Gorvins] * What do the former Biglaw Bigshot and Joan Rivers have in common? [Law and More]

By Joe Patrice
5th Circuit

Non-Sequiturs: 06.03.14

* Dan Marino was suing the NFL over concussions, becoming the highest profile former player to level a suit against the league. Among his allegations, he claims concussions led him to hold that ball laces in for Ray Finkle. Why do I say "was," you ask? Because he claims he filed suit accidentally. No greater proof of the dangers of concussions necessary. [Awful Announcing] * The Supreme Court used to gather in the basement and watch porn together according to Larry Tribe (affiliate link). Best anecdote is Justice Marshall narrating porn to the nearly blind Justice Harlan. You can spoil the ending for Justice Harlan here. [Washington Post] * It turns out the Brits have their own obsession with law school rankings. Here’s their “league table” for a legal education. [The Guardian] * You know not to wear a bikini to the firm pool party, but what should you wear to the other summer events? [Corporette] * An article ponders when firms are going to figure out that recent law school grads are perfect paralegals. Thanks for that kick in the gut. [New Geography] * Following up on an older story, the Fifth Circuit has withdrawn a ruling made in 2007 upon revelations that one of the judges involved had a financial interest in one of the parties. [Center for Public Integrity] * Do we need more reasons why Bitcoin is stupid? Ah, it’s used in messy divorces to hide assets. Perfect. [Digital Journal] * Debt collectors are increasingly giving up on calling you all the time and just seeking default judgments. [Huffington Post] * From the SUNY Buffalo commencement, Judge Thomas Franczyk and graduate Joey Nicastro took the stage to perform a song for the occasion. Francis Malofiy is already planning to sue them. Video below….

By Joe Patrice
Alan Dershowitz

Non-Sequiturs: 07.11.12

* Canadian comes to America, goes into $100,000 worth of law school debt, and has no job. Mwahahaha, Canada, let’s see your superior health care system find a cure for that! [Globe and Mail] * Wait, you’re not supposed to take your baby along when you go to see a prostitute? Okay. Got it. See, that’s the kind of tip that isn’t in any of the Dr. Spock books. [Wave3] * Ben Bernanke can time travel… [Dealbreaker] * … While John Mara, owner of the WORLD CHAMPION New York Giants, simply revises history. [Forbes] * Alan Dershowitz received a “D” on his first legal writing assignment. Apparently, his Yale Law School professor, the great Guido Calebresi, told him, “You write like you’re having a conversation with your friends in Brooklyn,” and then helped him work on his technique. Little did Calebresi or Dershowitz know that writing like you’re having a conversation with friends could lead to a successful life as a legal blogger. Boy, did they miss out! [Yale Alumni Magazine] * Kenny Heitz, an Irell & Manella partner and former UCLA basketball champion, passed away. [Daily News] Harvard Law School professor Laurence Tribe foresaw the Obamacare Tax Holding, and we’ve got video evidence to prove it…. How Appealing pointed us to the link below. This will make Tribe’s Con Law class even harder to get into this fall. Remember HLSers, competing classmates can’t register if both their hands are broken:

By Elie Mystal
Barack Obama

Supreme Court To Decide Constitutionality of Obamacare

In a development that should surprise no one, the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to review the constitutionality of President Barack Obama's signature policy achievement, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act -- aka Obamacare. This means that, before the end of the current SCOTUS Term in summer 2012, the justices will rule on the validity of this sweeping legislation....

By David Lat
Crime

Non-Sequiturs: 08.29.11

* Professor Laurence Tribe on “the constitutional inevitability of same-sex marriage.” [SCOTUSblog] * You can sleep when you’re dead — and you can prevail against the IRS in litigation, too (as the late Ken Lay just did). [TaxProf Blog] * Speaking of the dead, just because someone is burglarizing your business doesn’t mean you can […]

By David Lat