Morning Docket
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* Twitter who signed agreements committing them to private arbitration cannot pursue a class action against the company. Though the judge noted a few members of the proposed class had opted out of that agreement so the case lives on for the moment. Musk still unaware of the ruling because it’s buried under all the crap in the “For You” feed. [Reuters]
* The UK has blocked Scotland’s gender recognition law. Because post-Brexit the smartest thing England can do is further alienate Scotland and Northern Ireland. [CNN]
* FTC blows dusts off antitrust rule book like discovering ancient lore in an enchanted dungeon. Will address big box retailers getting massive discounts from manufacturers to maximize profit over smaller competitors. [Bloomberg]
* Tensions may be developing between Supreme Court justices. Amazing what happens when one wing of the Court fully abandons the law to be politicians. [The Atlantic]
* Over a third of legal workers hate their boss. Congratulations lawyers! I’d have expected a much higher number. [LegalCheek]
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* FINALLY. Firm leaders willing to come right out and say that “recession” fears are overblown at this point. Regular followers of Above the Law might have heard this point five or six hundred times over the last six months. [American Lawyer]
* Covington sued for non-compliance in client data leak investigation. If a leak happens in the woods and no one properly investigates it, does it even happen, really? [Law.com]
* Supreme Court allows New York gun regulations to stand while Second Circuit litigation continues. Congratulations New York! You get to exercise the state sovereignty to regulate guns guaranteed by the actual text of the Second Amendment… for a few more months. [Law360]
* Sam Bankman-Fried is blogging on Substack now? Perfect client, 10 out of 10, no notes! [Reuters]
* New high-powered firm set up to fight threats to democracy. It’s a growth industry. [New York Times]
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* The Biden administration’s defense of its student loan relief programs arrived. It mostly revolves around the plaintiffs’ lack of standing, which has the benefit of being completely correct and the drawback of a majority of justices who don’t care. [Reuters]
* After yesterday’s southeastern merger news, now Maynard and Nexsen are merging to build a 550-attorney firm. [Daily Report Online]
* Coinbase will have to pay $100M in real people money for anti-money laundering compliance failures. [Law360]
* S&C takes overall deal value crown for 2022, shedding a bit of light on those Kirkland cutbacks we’ve been hearing about [American Lawyer]
* Preparing for a cyber threat is one thing. Getting lawyers to actually comply with your policies is another. [Legaltech News]
* Another story about facial recognition software, race, and mistaken identity. This time a man claims he was falsely arrested because of the software. [Gizmodo]
* In other news, I was on the most recent episode of WGN’s Legal Face-Off discussing a wide range of legal issues from bonuses to the Supreme Court. [WGN]
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* Class action lawsuit filed against Southwest Airlines over holiday travel meltdown right on schedule… unlike Southwest. [Corporate Counsel]
* Sam Bankman-Fried trial set for October. [New York Law Journal]
* Kasowitz suing Glenn Agre over fees. Glenn Agre partners worked on the matter at Kasowitz before founding Glenn Agre and bringing the work with them. Now that the matter is closed, Glenn Agre earned a success fee and Kasowitz wants a chunk of that. Does Kasowitz pay pro rated bonuses to associates who lateral to other firms mid-year? Because that’s the firm’s logic. [American Lawyer]
* Biden renominates pending judgeship appointments. These nominations may have languished in the last Congress, but there’s now a chance they can get confirmed before the next Speaker. [Reuters]
* DoNotPay, the AI speeding ticket system, is set to defend its first matter in court. [New Scientist]
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* Conviction sends Bitcoin boss from blockchain to chain gang. [Law360]
* Remember Popkin & Stern? Probably not since it collapsed in 1991. Its wild bankruptcy tale is finally coming to an end after art fights and marriage proposals. [Stltoday]
* Drug smugglers are now suing their lawyers for saying they knew Alex Acosta but failed to get an “Epstein deal.” This “Rule of Law” thing is not going well, folks. [Miami Herald]
* Effort to quash the House subpoena of Trump’s accountants heads to the DC Circuit today where new judge Neomi Rao will have an early opportunity to cook up some kooky ramblings to justify a purely political decision. [National Law Journal]
* Andrew Cuomo steps up to disenfranchise voters to shield his political stooges. [Sunnyside Post]
* Municipality hacks keep striking and it’s a real problem for everyone’s privacy. [Legaltech News]
* R. Kelly arrested on new charges. [Huffington Post]
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* It’s cliché to label this, “but their emails” right? [NY Times]
* R. Kelly wants to see this sex tape. Let’s presume it’s for defense purposes. [TMZ]
* Navigating the privacy waters between GDPR and CCPA. [Corporate Counsel]
* Gordon Caplan has a court date with Aunt Becky. [American Lawyer]
* While eDiscovery has been a thing for over a decade, a new study confirms that a lot of firms still don’t understand it. [Legaltech News]
* The SPLC removed its founder…folks around the work they do think that was the right move. Meanwhile, prepare for years of white supremacists going “I can’t be criticized because SPLC had a sh [New Yorker]
* Mississippi wants a law aborted next. [NBC News]
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* Hail Mary pass interference? President Donald Trump reportedly asked then-acting AG Matthew Whitaker if U.S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman (S.D.N.Y.) — a “perceived loyalist” — could be put in charge of the Michael Cohen probe even though he’d already recused himself. [New York Times]
* Chief Justice John Roberts once again sided with the Supreme Court’s liberals in refusing to agree with a Texas court’s decision to execute a death row inmate with intellectual disabilities, writing that the lower court’s review of the case “did not pass muster under this court’s analysis last time,” and “[i]t still doesn’t.” Justice Samuel Alito dissented, and was obviously joined by the high court’s conservatives. [Washington Post]
* Emoji are popping up more and more in court cases, and courts still don’t know what to do with them — which is a shame, because “[j]udges need to be aware of the importance of the emojis to the overall communication when we run into … odd evidentiary issues.” [The Verge]
* This Fox Rothschild partner is facing sanctions over missed deadlines in several cases for his client, porn producer Strike 3 Holdings. He’s repped the “copyright troll” in about 2,500 infringement cases since 2017. [American Lawyer]
* If you’re interested in investing in the future of law, alternative legal services provider Axiom will be going public and has applied for an IPO. The number of shares up for grabs and their price range is still undecided. [ALM International]
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* Is Matt Whitaker’s appointment as Acting Attorney General even legal? Well, Justice Thomas certainly doesn’t think so. [Twitter]
* Associate signing bonuses are on the decline according to a new report. On the other hand, we’ve heard about more firms offering payouts to make associates whole on bonuses when jumping firms, and I’m not sure this decline captures that. If not, this decline might be a distinction without difference. [American Lawyer]
* Rudy Giuliani claiming he’s got “financial troubles” while spending over $12K on cigars. Maybe he should ask for an advance from his client who claims to be a billionaire but is pretty obviously not even close to being a billionaire. [NBC]
* Ron Wyden proposes criminal penalties for corporate data breaches. [Corporate Counsel]
* Attorney wanted for murder has been apprehended in Cuba. [Law360]
* As much as we tout advances in legal technology, it’s the changes to the legal business model that may usher in the biggest transformation. [Forbes]
* More insights from the In-House Benchmarking Report. Work is still moving in-house and technology has a lot to do with this shift. [Legaltech News]
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* Is anything going on today? [BBC]
* Anything at all? [USA Today]
* Dan Snyder and Cadwalader settle their massive malpractice suit so Snyder can focus full time on his team’s inevitably heartbreaking collapse. [Law360]
* Speaking of Washington’s football franchise, the heiress of its former owner is facing criminal charges for allegedly saying, “hurry up Jew” before beating a lawyer in the head until he bled. Lovely organization Washington’s got there! [Fox News]
* After months of bad press, America’s tech giants are calling for a federal privacy law. Or, more accurately, after California passed a privacy law, America’s tech giants are calling for a neutered federal law to preempt California’s. [Reuters]
* Since Rod Rosenstein might be leaving our public lives as early as today, here’s an in-depth look at one of his most bonkers cases. [Washingtonian]
* DLA Piper adds the former ambassador to Argentina as a special advisor. In other news, David Mamet’s son used to be the ambassador to Argentina? Was anyone else tracking that? UPDATE: OK, I feel vindicated that I hadn’t missed something huge. DLA Piper confirms that he’s not actually David Mamet’s son. I would’ve thought that would have been a bigger deal. [National Law Journal]
* Amazon’s commitment to screwing over its workers and leaving taxpayers to foot the bill runs right up to the NLRA line. But it’s cool since that law won’t survive Kavanaugh’s first year. [Gizmodo]
* Why PwC’s new Fragomen partnership is a big deal. [Law.com]
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* It’s the first day of the bar exam in a number of jurisdictions. These young lawyers have suggestions for your last month of freedom. [Young Lawyers Advisory Board]
* Jeff Sessions is withholding funding from local law enforcement. Just the latest example of Dummy the House Elf’s curious interpretation of being “tough on crime.” [NJ.com]
* Now Trump will meet with Mueller? Oh, he’ll talk to Mueller about anything but obstruction. So I guess they could discuss the weather. [Time]
* Stormy Daniels is getting a divorce. [NY Times]
* After a dicey back and forth with the ABA, NCCU has retained its accreditation. [News & Observer]
* The EU keeps fining American companies. American companies keep right on monopolizin’. [The Economist]
* Jonathan Turley goes all “get off my lawn” about Millennials and free speech. Magistrate Judge James Donohue points out that Millennials might appreciate free speech more if they had any reason to believe people like Turley weren’t trying to turn it into a pay-to-play right. [Courthouse News Service]
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* Papa John has hired Harvey Weinstein’s lawyer, who’s rapidly establishing herself as the gold standard of representing powerful dirtbags. You could say she’s the Domino’s of that market. [Courier-Journal]
* City officials will investigate whether the Stormy Daniels arrest — on a law that is never enforced — was a politically motivated hit job. I assume this will require investigators to spend hours undercover in strip clubs at taxpayer expense. [NBC4]
* A deep dive into Judge Collyer’s recent opinion contending for the first time that American citizens have a right to at least be heard before being executed by drone. When this case gets snuffed out on appeal, the resulting precedent is going to justify all sorts of executive mischief. [Rolling Stone]
* Breaking down Vermont Law’s decision to fire tenured faculty — a sign of things to come? [Forbes]
* With co-counsel settling, Sidley’s finding itself a little lonelier in the Aequitas suit alleging that it contributed to a Ponzi-scheme. [American Lawyer]
* Wondering how much artificial intelligence talk you can deal with? There are nine legal tech conferences over the next few months. Including ILTACON in National Harbor where we’re hosting an Above the Law happy hour/bar trivia extravaganza… so if you’re around, come on by. [Legaltech News]
* Fox Rothschild looking into a hefty merger in the Carolinas. [Legal Intelligencer]
* This isn’t really a shocker, but lawmakers don’t understand technology, free speech. [Wired]
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* Brett Kavanaugh built up around $200K in debt buying Washington Nationals tickets. This may be the Federalist Society’s biggest vetting failure ever because all real conservative jurists would say they went $200K in debt buying Montreal Expos tickets. [Deadspin]
* Ohio pulls obscure law out of a hat to harass Stormy Daniels for daring to point out that Donald Trump is a scumbag. [NY Times]
* “Jesus never broke immigration law” says Evangelical Trumper whose religion is entirely based on a guy admitting he was an outlaw and getting the death penalty for it. [Vox]
* Just when you were getting used to WestlawNext, WestlawEdge is here to radically change the game. [LegaltechNews]
* Texas professors who don’t want to die will take their case to the Fifth Circuit. [CBS News]
* Lawyer says Shady orchestrated the assault on his ex. [Denver Post]
* Trump pardoned the thugs who put the lives of firefighters in danger and then inspired an armed standoff with federal officers and then Mike Pence’s buddy gave them a private jet home. [Oregon Live]
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* Now begins the period of wild predictions about Kennedy’s eventual replacement. Young judge with proven record of hostility toward minorities, gays, and women would be a pretty good bet. [National Law Journal]
* A whopping 33 states employ the UBE now. [Law.com]
* No one is actually complying with GDPR. Sounds right. [Digiday]
* But back to Supreme Court news, remember Roe? Yeah that won’t be around much longer. And if you’ve deluded yourself into the Pollyannaish belief that Roberts won’t go there, you’re forgetting how courts work.
[Slate]* This op-ed by the legal luminary power family, the Amars, about Justice Kennedy’s call for a civil and balanced court in his Muslim Ban concurrence did not age well. But it’s worth revisiting to demonstrate just how deeply Kennedy grifted everyone, including some of the smartest legal minds around, with his “swing” schtick. [CNN]
* ICE lawyer decides it’s time to help kids instead of hurt them. To quote West Wing: “Let’s… I tell you what, let’s forget the fact that you’re coming a little late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.” [USA Today]
* Border patrol is about to get aggressive on keeping Canadians out. [Newsweek]
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* The New York American Inn of Court presents, “Fast Times at Ruth Bader Ginsburg High.” You’ll never think of Phoebe Cates the same way again. [New York Law Journal]
* In the wake of decades of sexual abuse, Michigan State turned to former Republican governor John Engler to serve as interim president and steer the school back from this tragedy. His response is to smear the victims. The only shocking thing about this is that anyone expected a different result. [Detroit Free Press]
* Apple is making it harder for law enforcement to crack into your phone. If they can follow this up with a longer lasting battery, we might forgive them for removing the headphone jack. [CNN]
* A reminder that the next shoe in the Supreme Court’s attempt to resuscitate Lochner is about to drop. [Vox]
* United Lex and LeClairRyan’s new deal has the legal technology community buzzing. But banking on law firms to embrace change hasn’t always panned out. [American Lawyer]
* When the revolution comes, they’ll point to our highly developed law of golf balls as proof of our decadence. [Law.com]
* Due process suit brought by journalists on the infamous United States kill list will go forward. [Courthouse News Service]
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* Avenatti is no longer trying to get in on the Michael Cohen case… because he says they’re already going to get all the documents they need. [CNBC]
* Weil Gotshal shortening its partnership track in bid to keep young talent around. [New York Law Journal]
* Former K&L Gates business development manager charged with threatening a professor who had written that Trump voters were violent racists. A point underscored when… violent racists started making threats against him. [American Lawyer]
* Ethics experts weigh in on Quinn Emanuel’s forfeiture-for-competition clause. They… don’t like it. [Law360]
* We’ve talked about White & Case’s decorating chops before. Now they’ve got themselves a new Silicon Valley look. [The Recorder]
* California passes a strict net neutrality bill. I guess they weren’t compelled by Ajit Pai’s stupid video. [Courthouse News Service]
* National Law Journal names the DC litigation departments of the year. Do we have a name for this? Like “The Deecees” or something? [National Law Journal]
* Legendary internet commenter “Loyola 2L” has dropped his mask. [American Lawyer]
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* In a perfect example of everything wrong with GDPR there are now concerns that, under its terms, blockchain is prohibited. So a law designed to protect privacy might derail the most secure privacy protection technology on the market. Good job! [Legaltech News]
* For months, I’ve used the phrase “GDPR-Y2K-2018.” Looks like someone agrees with me. [Corporate Counsel]
* The lesson we’ve learned over the past week is that being pro-segregation really boosts your chances for the federal bench these days. [Courthouse News Service]
* The air is no so sweet down on Sesame Street, where they’re suing Brian Henson over his new movie, “Happytime Murders.” [Law360]
* A deep dive into that dispute that’s put Michael Avenatti’s firm on the hook for millions. [New York Law Journal]
* Trump’s trade policy may result in economic ruin, but it’ll make a lot of money for lawyers. [American Lawyer]
* Payday lender who tried to skirt the law by claiming to be on Indian reservations slapped with 8-year sentence. [WTOP]
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* Harvey Weinstein has turned himself in to the NYPD. [Vox]
* Happy GDPR Day! [Wall Street Journal]
* Emmet Flood attended the DOJ’s briefing for congressional leaders because defense attorneys are always allowed to attend internal conversations about law enforcement tactics in ongoing investigations. [Talking Points Memo]
* Elon Musk may want to put away the Twitter machine for a bit now that he’s stepped into possible labor law violations. [Engadget]
* The Samsung-Apple war continues with a jury awarding Apple $539 million for IP infringement. [Law360]
* Professor Steven Calabresi is arguing that Robert Mueller’s whole job is unconstitutional. We’ve really come a long way from conservatives hailing the appointment of a no-nonsense lifelong Republican, haven’t we? [The Hill]
* Also, Calabresi is completely wrong. [Legal Skills Prof Blog]
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* A whistleblower reports that SARS reports regarding Michael Cohen’s transactions are missing from FINCEN. SARS don’t just disappear without a trace… well, the disease did, but the reports shouldn’t. [New Yorker]
* After passing an abortion law accomplishing little more than exposing the state’s taxpayers to litigation expense, Iowa is going to have to find someone else to defend it because Attorney General Tom Miller wants no part of it. [ABC]
* The FTC’s new consumer protection chief represented payday lenders, and really what’s so bad about a 110 percent interest rate anyway? [The Hill]
* Wolf of Wall Street needs to up his payments to victims. [Law360]
* Facebook is getting into the blockchain game meaning soon your vacation photos will overtake Bitcoin as the most inherently worthless thing backed by blockchain. [Legaltech News]
* An interview with a federal magistrate judge finally answers the question: what’s the penalty for Yogi Bear stealing a picnic basket? [Coverage Opinions]
* The Senate, against all odds, voted to save net neutrality yesterday. [Courthouse News Service]