Johnny Manziel

* Sad day for Jonathan Lee Riches. His lawsuit over Johnny Manziel’s penis has been thrown out of court. [Black Sports Online] * Hot on the heels of yesterday’s item about SCOTUS porn parties, Professor Tribe guest blogs about his new book (affiliate link) and coercion, bribery, and influence. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Former Brooklyn DA and aspiring TV star Charles Hynes is staring down larceny accusations. [Gothamist] * Texas basically assigns a cop to actively discourage investigate indigent parties seeking assigned counsel. [Socialist Gumshoe] * The Supreme Court doesn’t like talking about patents — its opinions on the subject are getting shorter and shorter. [Patently-O] * A lawyer is in hot water for allowing underaged drinking at a post prom party. The point was to keep the kids from driving. But no good deed goes unpunished. [Turn to 10] * An interesting profile of one of my favorite professors, Ken Feinberg, labeling him “the lawyer who decides what a life is worth.” Yikes. [KDVR] * The business strategy of just telling clients what they want to hear deflates. [Dealbreaker] * Who says no one reads law reviews? The porn industry does and they really like this student Note. [XBiz] * This is why we can’t have nice things. Second Circuit explains that if a revolving door agency of sycophants says it’s OK, it’s OK. Full opinion below…. [New York Times]

Do good things come in small packages? This football player allegedly says so!

* Johnny Football failed to defeat Alabama on Saturday (though he was gentlemanly enough to keep Bama from covering the spread), but now he has a tougher foe in the IRS. [TaxProf Blog] * Don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of your girlfriend. And definitely don’t be that guy who takes naked pictures of his 16-year-old girlfriend while married to the girl’s older sister. In other words, don’t be this lawyer. [Legal Profession Blog] * Are you an attorney on LinkedIn? Have people been endorsing your legal skills? Congratulations, you’re probably violating an ethical obligation! [IT-Lex] * Another round-up of people with law degrees who decided to be famous for something other than lawyering. When the list kicks off with Geraldo Rivera and Jerry Springer, you know you’re in for a classy list. [Millington Star] * One year later, a look at how the Steubenville rape case has affected the town. [Jezebel] * The world of litigation finance suffers some setbacks as it turns out lawsuits might be the only investment less stable than the Twitter IPO. [Wall Street Journal] * Time for some more legally themed poetry! This time, let’s get all Edgar Allan Poe up in here. [Poetic Justice] * Following up on our event in Toronto last week, Bruce MacEwen recapped the evening’s discussion here. [Adam Smith, Esq.]

Jefferson, are you injured or are you hurt?–James Caan, The Program Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.–Joseph Heller A few years ago, ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown used to do this bit where their assorted chuckleheads would sit around reviewing the biggest […]

* Whitey Bulger was convicted on 31 of the 32 counts he faced. [NBC News] * Eric Holder announced that the federal government will stop charging certain drug offenders with crimes that carry draconian mandatory minimum sentences. Apparently, he just now realized the prison system is riddled with non-violent offenders. The last horses are finally crossing the finish line, folks! [Washington Post] * Johnny Manziel has hired counsel for his upcoming NCAA probe. Surprise, surprise, it’s Champ Kind from Anchorman. [Jim Darnell] * As a follow-up, the lawyer who filed suit against his ex-wife for bad mothering is facing ethics charges in an unrelated matter where he wrote a will giving his own kids 40 percent of his client’s estate. It take something special to try and slip that one past the goalie. [ABA Journal] * The former escort behind the nom de plume Belle de Jour, whose exploits gave rise to a TV show, is being sued for defamation by an old boyfriend who claims her sexploits are a lie. If you can’t trust a detailed diary of sexual experiences, what can you trust? [Jezebel] * Here are the top energy law priorities facing Congress after they return from summer recess. Repealing Obamacare, Congress’s only priority, is not an energy policy. [Breaking Energy] * For IP attorney LOLZ, here’s a fun Tumblr. [IP Attorney] * A law student at Wisconsin has developed a system that allows easy stalking of someone’s smartphone. While this makes him sound like a jerk, his intention is to prove how unacceptable this lack of privacy really is. It’s not stalking if it’s proving a point! [Ars Technica] * The Sixth Circuit thinks the emergency manager law in Michigan may violate the state’s constitution. This could throw the whole Detroit bankruptcy into doubt. There’s a lot of talk about how this could help city pensioners, but let’s focus on the victims it could cause — what would happen to Jones Day’s billings? [Constitutional Law Prof Blog]

Alex Rodriguez and Johnny Manziel square off against entities that are at least as bad or worse.

* Texas Hold ‘Em loses to Second Circuit on the River. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Compiling a collection of historical White House counsel advice was a labor of love. The collection includes advice on issues ranging from dealing with Leon Trotsky to blockading Cuba. Advice on treaty with Roswell visitors conspicuously absent. [WSJ Law Blog] * An incoming 1L at Ole Miss takes to Craigslist to find a “young cute girl” to be “arm candy I spoil.” Ick. [Craigslist (in case that comes down, here's a screenshot)] * Johnny “Football” Manziel’s alleged autograph-for-pay scheme has prompted Texas A&M to hire Lightfoot, Franklin and White, the law firm that helped out Auburn when Cam Newton totally got paid to play was wrongfully accused of taking payments. [USA Today] * D.C. Circuit Judge Janice Rogers Brown has hired former bank robber and jailhouse lawyer Shon Hopwood as her new clerk. An awesome story actually. [Blog of the Legal Times] * Oh closed circuit surveillance, is there anything you can’t do? A police officer in Italy’s Supreme Court has earned some Internet fame after being caught dancing to YMCA while waiting for the verdict in Silvio Berlusconi’s trial. Original video after the jump. Check out Legal Cheek for some viewer-created homages. [Legal Cheek]

A municipal judge knocks a Heisman trophy winner down a peg or two by outing him as the recipient of a speeding ticket.

What is the latest in terms of Johnny Football's™ legal woes? Plus a round-up of other athletes in legal hot water.